"Mostly all of the other girls I dated did xyz" what is this manipulation called?

dntbfllikeidid · 2020-08-07T06:59:18+00:00

It’s called MENipulation... lol

(sorry, I had to!) 😂

BasieSkanks · 2020-08-07T07:14:41+00:00

This seems like a form of triangulation, a manipulation tactic commonly employed by narcissists. He’s essentially pitting his exes against you by making them out to be unreasonable, knowing that you won’t be able to get their side of the story.

booboodoughnut · 2020-08-07T08:15:22+00:00

[deleted]

Hahane · 2020-08-07T08:51:02+00:00

My ex tried to do this with me - he complained that his ex never agreed with him and I am 'sooo different' because I agree with him, because we are 'sooo similiar' and therefore 'soulmates'. Guess what, my pick me ass had agreed with him for 6 years long relationship because I wanted to be better than her, who I didn't even now. Watch out, this can be pretty dangerous and damaging long term.

superheroxnerd · 2020-08-07T08:01:19+00:00

“My ex was crazyyyyy for doing this (insert random harmless thing). It’s unacceptable behavior to me, so you’d better not do it too.” He’s basically controlling you and telling you how to be. He’s also triangulating you by bringing in another person into the relationship (not literally though)

gcthrowaway2019 · 2020-08-07T10:55:10+00:00

Whatever name there is for it, I call it just straight up bullshit. He's running that "you're not like other girls" sexist nonsense.

QueenRizla · 2020-08-07T11:51:45+00:00

Translation: 'I want to see how low you will tolerate me setting the bar. Let me see how far back you bend and limbo under, I have found that comparing you to exes and complimenting your for being 'low maintenance' brings out the pickmeisha in you and you'll want to prove how different you are by ignoring your needs and putting me first and always doing what I want.'

One thing I would recommend, is turning it around swiftly by saying, wow you talk about your exes a lot in an interesting way.. Don't say much, just let it hang in the air like a bad smell. You are going to get a lot of red flags. Talking negatively about exes is a red flag. Getting into a competition to be treated worse by some NVM who bitches about his ex!!?? Please don't get played like that ladies. Low maintenance is not a compliment, its signing yourself up to act like a doormat.

booboodoughnut · 2020-08-07T10:24:44+00:00

It’s an indirect form of inciting you into a competition I guess, my former self would’ve been very happy to receive such a compliment and I’d have tried much harder to be ‘better’ than the exes!

iruoma · 2020-08-07T07:47:22+00:00

i don’t know, but god i hate this so much

Amy3e13 · 2020-08-07T12:59:53+00:00

He wants you to compete against those imaginary girls and he thinks you'll eat it up since in his mind women are competitive anyway. (He has a very one dimensional view of women) Ideally for him you'll never ask him to go inside a clothing store since you don't want to be like those other girls you are "competing" against.

tellmesomething11 · 2020-08-07T14:33:55+00:00

It’s called “triangulation.” It can be used to pit you against previous girlfriends, moms, you can even be triangulated against their car or animal🙄 it’s a way to make you jealous and fight for their attention.

You ever break up w a guy and like two weeks later, he’s posting his “woman of his dreams” on social media? It’s usually triangulation, to make you hurt and jealous. You ever have an ex say “you’re not like my ex, she would always ignore me” triangulation...to make sure you don’t act like her.

Or sometimes they’ll say”my ex was such a beautiful soul, she did this and this, so natural” and maybe you wear a ton of makeup and dye your hair. You might get jealous that he like “natural” girls and not girls who wear makeup.

Parking-Act · 2020-08-08T05:24:51+00:00

[deleted]

moon_prophet · 2020-08-07T14:15:47+00:00

Are you in a mall??

He didn’t take you to a mall then trashtalk other women who like to go into the stores, did he?

Title	"Mostly all of the other girls I dated did xyz" what is this manipulation called?
Author	Parking-Act
Upvotes	136
Comments	43
Date	August 7, 2020 6:51 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/i592o6/mostly_all_of_the_other_girls_i_dated_did_xyz/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/mostly-all-of-the-other-girls-i-dated-did-xyz-what.722767 https://theredarchive.com/post/722767

Comments

It’s called MENipulation... lol