Ever since I started caring about my appearance dating has been much better. From walking around in a ponytail, no makeup, and baggy clothes, to slowly working on improving different aspects of my appearance until I found colours and things that worked, however it gets a bit overwhelming, especially while dating.

It's just a truth that men beam when they are next to a woman who reflects well on them physically, shallow or not, however they don't notice how much work it is, especially when you are expected to pull in half the salary, act feminine, help them with domestic things and make it look effortless.

The more I learned about improving my appearance the more I learned how much it is just money, time, and trial and error, for instance if you look at most women who make a living off of their appearance, on top of being naturally beautiful, they almost all have subtle plastic surgery, eyelash extensions, hair extensions, a fake tan, and threaded eyebrows, a lot of these things 'look natural' especially the eyelash extensions but are unobtainable by natural means. I can't count the youtube videos or posts models or other women make insisting they have no makeup or filters but those things make a huge difference. The things mentioned in this paragraph are 'secrets' that most women do not know about or even use. Women in the public eye have people whose job it is to manage their appearance, it just seems like a full time job.

I personally only paint my nails a few times a week to keep them looking halfway decent, I spend a few hours a week on my hair (toning it and adding colour to keep it looking a flattering colour), I apply light makeup every day but when I date I feel the pressure to also have some nice outfits, not just date outfits but lougewear and pyjamas, which adds even more time to this entire ordeal, it takes me hours to go through the process of deciding on an outfit, finding good fits, mix and matching it, I know guys say they 'don't care' but I swear that ever since I started caring about these things I am treated infinitely better by men. They want to take me out, be exclusive, provide for me, protect me, want to impress me, show me off, I can tell how happy it makes them. I also personally struggle with weight gain which would add another hour of work onto my day if I would want to tackle it and I do not have the time with work and school currently unless I de-prioritize some other things. That doesn't even touch onto the improvements in the paragraph above which would add hours and bills, I won't go to those lengths but I just feel pressured while comparing myself to do the girls that do all of those things.

I know there is a balance to strike, I am wondering how all the other ladies here deal with it, so far my strategy has just been to slowly, over time build up my closet and makeup collection by trial and error but there are certain maintenance things that just take a while. Do you see it as a chore? Do you enjoy it? Do you ignore that aspect entirely? Do you push yourself to improve more and more?