(TLTR) Porn is a reflection of male sexuality aka Having a Madonna-Whore complex and enjoying humiliating women. So don't date men who watch it.

Thanks to porn, it has become completely normalized to see the woman you are having sex with as an "object" waiting to be used, to inflict violence on women such as chocking or slapping, and to use demeaning vocabulary such as slut, cum-dumpster etc. At this point, women who post nudes on Reddit do not condemn this behavior but instead they encourage it. How did it end up being this way?

Porn isn't the problem, it's the symptom. The problem is male nature and male sexuality.

First of all, men don't respect the women they have sex with, unless they've fallen in love with the woman before the sex took place. According to them, women who don't adhere to becoming a Madonna, e.g. porn-stars, are unworthy of respect. Example: In my mother-language there is a swearing word that means "woman who gives a blowjob". If men were logical creatures they wouldn't demonize an act they enjoy receiving from women, because it means they would get it less frequently. There is no logic, because it is simply a Complex, a pathogeny.

Second and most important, men are sexually aroused by the ill treatment of women and their humiliation. This was the most bitter realization for me to make. It's not that pornography has gotten bad because it focuses on female degradation rather than female satisfaction, it was from the beginning made to do so. If men, who are the main target-group of pornography, liked to make love to women, they would show sex in mainstream pornography as a mutual act, where both men and women get satisfied, and women would get more frequently orgasms. Instead they enjoy the thought of defiling women and treating them like "dirty whores".

Men know this. On the surface they deny it by saying "Oh, I just like hard sex, it doesn't mean anything". If that was the case, why do men in conservative and not so conservative cultures consider it humiliating for a man to be pegged by his wife or to like being dominated? Why are they so afraid of men being treated the same way they treat women?

Moral of the story: Don't date men who exhibit these characteristics and who watch porn because it just magnifies them. A HVM won't have those characteristics and as a result won't enjoy porn.