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QQueenie
[–]millennialpink2000FDS Newbie201 points202 points203 points 3 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link
Yesss! I love seeing these. When I bought myself an apartment after leaving my piece of trash ex, not one person congratulated me. But these same people fall over themselves congratulating us for 'securing' a man when they see a rock on your finger. After this experience, I've made it a point to congratulate women on leaving relationships (one lady actually cried when I said good for you cuz she was expecting me to be sad for her) and whenever they make moves for themselves. Loud and proud!!
[–]QQueenieFDS Newbie[S] 74 points75 points76 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yes!! Good for you. I always congratulate people on their divorces. Never ever has a happy healthy relationship ended in divorce.
[–]ThrowingItIntoTheSea16 points17 points18 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is... completely true! What a way to look at it! Thank you!
[–]CarpedictumFDS Newbie41 points42 points43 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I have a long standing habit of exclaiming “Congratulations!!!” when I’m told about a break-up.
Because seriously- if it’s over, it needed to be for a while and I’m sure they’ve gotten their fill of “Oh you poor pathetic thing.” from others.
[–]File-OwnFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good on you!
Agree on the second point too, society gaslights women into second-guessing or overthinking breakups. How many movies show a woman breaking up and actually being better for it instead of crying with her friends, eating loads of ice cream, and ending up broken? Hollywood has a lot to answer for.
[–]CrazyPaineFDS Newbie19 points20 points21 points 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Congratulations to you too. That's fucking awesome. I'm so proud of you. I just got out of relationship of 12 years with an abusive narcissist man the abuse was escalating so I had to get out I was able to get my pets out too because he was threatening my pets and myself. The first time someone said congratulations was my realtor and I was honestly surprised by it and I didn't know how to feel about it.
[–]millennialpink2000FDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 3 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Thank you so much :) Wow, 12 years with a narc abuser is brutal, I'm sorry you went through that. Glad you and your pets got out safely. I left a guy who sounds remarkably similar, so I know that numbness when someone (like your realtor) says something positive. It's startling and doesn't sit right because it's such a rarity. Really glad you're in a better spot now
[–]CrazyPaineFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Thank you. It wasn't always bad however the last 3 to 4 years was rough and slowly by slowly it started getting worse with him. However I can't disregard that whatsoever because it terrified me and I still have nightmares about it. It started to escalate until he eventually put kicked me out of my own house.
[–]millennialpink2000FDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, I understand that completely. The water starts to boil. Wow, kicking you out of your own house. Yeesh. No wonder you have nightmares, be gentle on yourself. If it's ok to ask, how long have you been away from him?
[–]CrazyPaineFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
No it's ok it hurts to talk about it but I know the more I talk about it the less I'm ya know afraid to talk about it. He kicked me out on my birthday month on June and then I had to go back to my previous place at least 3 times before I was able to get everything as well as getting a TPO to get my pets legally. I ended everything on October 5. I officially said goodbye to him about 3 months of no contact however I have been away from him since June which he was still calling, texting, and threatening me. I'm slowly but surely trying to get over it. My therapist said I need to grieve and I have been crying a bit more because for a long time I was holding everything in. One mistake I made was crying in front of him after he threw an umbrella me and he disregarded and dismissed my pain.
[–]millennialpink2000FDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It's still really fresh, so take your time. No contact is so helpful when it comes to getting over a guy like that. Glad to hear you've got a therapist, that's awesome. I know what you mean about holding everything in. I felt numb for a long time. But it's especially traumatizing after showing vulnerability by crying in front of him then being met with an umbrella. What a dick, I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Have you felt any anger towards him?
[–]CrazyPaineFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Let's see I have been exasperated, anger, provoked, irritated, enraged, infuriated at him yes many times especially after he would coerce me into having sex with him. Many times this happened; it took me yelling at him shaking in exhaustion from work and working 10 hours and calling him a bitch to where he almost punched me if I didn't step back from his uppercut. I guess my therapist was right I do need to grieve and get it out the way instead of holding it in.
[–]millennialpink2000FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yup, I know those feelings well. Grieving helps so much, but it takes time. Memories might pop up in your head out of nowhere, you might feel suddenly angry at him— I know these were true for me. The anger cracking through after I'd left was one of the first signs I was healing. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself time. What was helpful for me was reminding myself that I'm my own best friend and I'm dating myself. It helped reroute anxious thoughts and negative feelings
[–]Babooshka-123Pickmeisha™️6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I’m actually so sick of having to celebrate engagements and weddings, often for relationships that look subpar, and unplanned pregnancies, when nobody has congratulated any of my achievements in the last 5 years.
At least I don’t have to wake up to one of their ugly bald husbands.
[–]millennialpink2000FDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
oh my god yes, thank you!! I'm so tired of this nonsense. Getting pregnant by a tinder date after 4 weeks is hardly an achievement worth celebrating... but yes, at least we're not waking up next to their train wreck husbands
[–]myousernameRuthless Strategist60 points61 points62 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I really love these type of comics, "both types of women are great!"
You don't have to put other women down to make yourself look or feel better. Reminds me of those "body positivity" memes like "real men like curves, only dogs go for bones". Skinny women aren't the enemy, the problem is with beauty standards. Both types of women are great!
[–]QQueenieFDS Newbie[S] 21 points22 points23 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Agreed! Other women are not my enemy.
[–]Twolipz_78FDS Newbie108 points109 points110 points 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Thanks, needed the reminder. Was crying about it again today!
[–]QQueenieFDS Newbie[S] 43 points44 points45 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You got this; Keep walking forward!!
[–]BlacktontonguetoffeeFDS Newbie34 points35 points36 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Tears give us the cleansing we need sometimes. 🥲 keep moving forward sunshine 😊🌻
[–]Twolipz_78FDS Newbie15 points16 points17 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Awwww, he used to call me sunshine...Lol, well at least I got a laugh out of it and thanks, Queens!
[–]BlacktontonguetoffeeFDS Newbie23 points24 points25 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Call yourself sunshine now 🌞
[–]weekend111FDS Newbie30 points31 points32 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You’re better off without him and with the support of your sisters 💜
[–]chateauduchatFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Aww you’re amazing! 💕
[–]mscristalconnorsFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
❤️❤️❤️
[–]Capable_OkraFDS Newbie58 points59 points60 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I think divorce registries should be a thing. Most couples in the US live together before marriage now so they're likely to have all the home items they need. But a divorce can be so costly AND you're dividing up your belongings in the split. So you're more likely to actually need items that would be on a wedding registry! Can we get rid of wedding registries and make them divorce registries instead?
[–][deleted] 23 points24 points25 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Seriously. How can we make this a thing? Even men boo-hoo about losing half their stuff in divorces. I know when I broke off an engagement and moved out, if felt SO GOOD to get all new dishes and furniture and just start fresh.
[–]QQueenieFDS Newbie[S] 12 points13 points14 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Holy crap I love that idea.
[–]missisabelarcherFDS Apprentice8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This would be a BRILLIANT idea!
[–]atreegrowsinbrixtonFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
yes of course, just register for your divorce party
[–]Delicious_Comfort000FDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
When I left NVM ex I felt SO happy and liberated! I was having a little skin issue that was itching so bad that I couldn’t take any shit from anyone. So as it healed a couple of days later, I dumped him. A blessing in disguise 😂
[–]QQueenieFDS Newbie[S] 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Wow, that is really incredible. Happy for you!
[–]Delicious_Comfort000FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks! It’s been over a year and a half and I’m in a much better place now 😊
[–]missisabelarcherFDS Apprentice7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I was actually just thinking the other day that I wanted to celebrate the day I left my ex for good! I'm planning on buying myself some serious jewelry and getting some great sushi and sake to celebrate 🎉
[–]QQueenieFDS Newbie[S] 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That sounds like a fantastic celebration. Enjoy!
[–]Striking_Play_1393FDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I saw all of those paintings from her collection. They are all wonderful like that ☝️
[–]QQueenieFDS Newbie[S] 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Agreed!
[–]CrazyPaineFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
When I left my ex being with him for 12 years I felt sad and depressed but the more I'm away from him I feel more liberated and free to say, feel and express myself how I'm feeling for the most part. One person my realtor, my friend Cat, my man friend was proud of me said congratulations to me. It's something I was so scared of honestly doing and I didn't think I would do it or even make it out alive because I was scared he would honestly hurt, wound me or worse. However I'm trying to be on the right track for the most part.
[–]ivy176FDS Disciple0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I kicked by NVM ex husband out and celebrated literally that week by going out with someone I'd liked from afar for a really long time, haha. A bit unorthodox but hey, been together 6 years and married now 😂
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[–]millennialpink2000FDS Newbie201 points202 points203 points (15 children) | Copy Link
[–]QQueenieFDS Newbie[S] 74 points75 points76 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ThrowingItIntoTheSea16 points17 points18 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CarpedictumFDS Newbie41 points42 points43 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]File-OwnFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CrazyPaineFDS Newbie19 points20 points21 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]millennialpink2000FDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]CrazyPaineFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]millennialpink2000FDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]CrazyPaineFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]millennialpink2000FDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]CrazyPaineFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]millennialpink2000FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Babooshka-123Pickmeisha™️6 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]millennialpink2000FDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]myousernameRuthless Strategist60 points61 points62 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]QQueenieFDS Newbie[S] 21 points22 points23 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Twolipz_78FDS Newbie108 points109 points110 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]QQueenieFDS Newbie[S] 43 points44 points45 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BlacktontonguetoffeeFDS Newbie34 points35 points36 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Twolipz_78FDS Newbie15 points16 points17 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]BlacktontonguetoffeeFDS Newbie23 points24 points25 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]weekend111FDS Newbie30 points31 points32 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]chateauduchatFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mscristalconnorsFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Capable_OkraFDS Newbie58 points59 points60 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 23 points24 points25 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]QQueenieFDS Newbie[S] 12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]missisabelarcherFDS Apprentice8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]atreegrowsinbrixtonFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Delicious_Comfort000FDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]QQueenieFDS Newbie[S] 5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Delicious_Comfort000FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]missisabelarcherFDS Apprentice7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]QQueenieFDS Newbie[S] 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Striking_Play_1393FDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]QQueenieFDS Newbie[S] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CrazyPaineFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ivy176FDS Disciple0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link