Background on me. I am a serial monogamist who has only dated friends. They all turned out to be narcissists. My narcissist radar is tuned to high alert. Because I have only been with men that I have known for a long time beforehand, I am just now, at 40, casually dating after never having done so before. It's a good thing; I believe that we are much less likely to give men a pass when we are not sympathetic to their backstory. But I am finding that, at least with the men I have encountered, men over 40 are seriously flawed. And this is apart and separate from their looks: potbellys, lack of hair on head but hair everywhere else, wrinkles, and overall unattractiveness. Here is my list of serious beginning red flags:

Bitterness. They seem like a good guy. But they are wounded by their past relationships, and they are not over it. No matter how long it's been, if they have been cheated on, it comes out inevitably on the first date. Some form of, "I need someone loyal." Ugh.

They only talk about their job. I'm not sure if this is meant to impress, but if you exclusively talk about the problems that you encounter with work, you know for a fact that that is all you will ever talk about for the rest of your life.

The Inquisitor. The back and forth is like a job interview. The intent is to ferret out key information on "What you can do for me." Most men over 40 have children that they need help raising. It comes across as a nanny interview. How organized are you? How well do you clean your house? Do you cook? Do you like to take care of yourself? I will not be your nanny.

Making it obvious that they've had lots of first dates, very few second dates. This goes along with the bitterness. They have become jaded, and they are total misogynists.

The guy who has a story for every single thing that you say. This is another way to steal the limelight with no curiosity about your life at all. No follow up questions. Sign of a narcissist.

The "written in the Stars" guy. You were meant to be. Your birthday is in the same month. It was destiny. Finally, you have arrived in his life. I recommend that you never, ever give any personal information to this guy. Don't even go out on a date with him. He is dangerous.

Anything else you would like to add?