Tldr at the bottom

We recently got into this relationship just earlier this month after courting and vetting since April. He is caring, loving and committed but there’s just something that’s been bugging me ever since we went on our first date. He lets me pay for myself.

This is just something I am not used to, every date I’ve ever been on was covered by the man I was with and I admit I’ve been taking it for granted.

The context is that we are both unemployed students. I can see from his point of view that maybe covering for the expenses may be burdensome for him as a student so I thought I would give him the benefit of the doubt and not bring it up and rather, see what he does when he starts getting steady paychecks (he graduates and starts working in 6 months).

This all changed when I confided to a male colleague of mine about this issue and was surprised by the fact that my boyfriend does not cover the expenses during a date, and goes Dutch, regardless of the fact that he is a student.

I think I may have contributed to this problem when I offered to pay half of the bill (because I didn’t want to be rude) the first time we went on a date, I was expecting him to refuse and say it was fine. But he did not and gladly accepted the payment. This continued on to all the following dates. He would go up to pay and I ask him how much I owe him hoping that he would refuse, and he never does.

When we go on a date, we eat at a nice restaurant, do some activities and go to a café. I spend about $30 during dates after splitting costs, I feels like I’m not being unreasonable or absurd with my expectations.

It was very embarrassing for me to admit that I had been seeing a man who was letting me pay for myself and it definitely hurt my self esteem because it feels like my boyfriend was insinuating that I’m not worth his generosity.

Furthermore, besides the shame and embarrassment (not of him, but for not clarifying this with him before getting into this relationship which reflects poorly on me), my friends and family would oppose this relationship if they found out he lets me pay.

I just can’t think of a way to bring this up casually and light heartedly. Im willing to negotiate with him and compromise, as I really do like this man.

I just wanna hear your thoughts on this and even suggestions on how to bring this up without offending him or coming off as disrespectful and entitled. Thank you in advance .. ❤️

Tldr; my boyfriend doesn’t pay for our dates and goes Dutch. The total would only come up to $60 if he took on the financial load. We go on dates 4 times a month, which is $120 per month, which I feel like is not an absurd expectation. Not sure how to move forward, looking for advice.

EDIT: I don’t want people getting the wrong idea. I admit that I came off as overly dramatic in my post, quite frankly I wasn’t the most rational while writing this, since it had been stressing me out for so long. Sorry about that. Money isn’t the problem, I definitely don’t expect my man to be an ATM. What was concerning me is that I want to be a SAHM in a few years and noticing my boyfriend going half with my on bills might he pointing to a bigger problem, which might mean that he would also want me to go half in everything even when married with kids, which isn’t possible since I want to be a SAHM. Please don’t get the wrong idea, I’m for sure not going to force this unto him if it’s not something he wants (being a provider), we can go our separate ways respectfully.