Just Started, Failing Shit Tests And Not Closing

_do_not_read_this_ · 2021-07-18T19:56:00+00:00

Old school beta tactics don't work - that's why we're here.

Example - "give her a kiss on her doorstep at the end of the night"

By then it's usually too late.

There's a point during many "first" dates where you're both looking at each other's lips wondering "should I kiss her now" and "is he going to kiss me".

That's when you do it.

And don't do a "make out" kiss. Give her a short ~2 second, closed eye, closed mouth kiss. Get it over with. Smile, don't even talk about it, and just get on with the night. Hold her hand after if you aren't already, they *all* love holding hands for some reason.

And if you haven't kino'd throughout the night and done all the other red pill stuff, going in for an awkward kiss at the end of the night is certain to fail.

Also, "I don't kiss on the first date" is a classic shit test. What that really means is she's wondering why you haven't tried to kiss her yet.

SalesAficionado · 2021-07-19T03:06:40+00:00

You need to be kind to yourself. Great things take time. Enjoy the struggle, you'll look back at it fondly. You also have to take the Redpill with a grain of salt. The main concepts are important, but remember seduction is an art more than a science.

Quick advice I can give you:

Some chicks won't fuck you on the first date, some won't even kiss you on the first date. But you ALWAYS, ALWAYS have to go for it even if you get rejected. This establish polarity. You are making sure to reduce the risk of being friend-zoned.
You have to filter time waster. "I'm too busy" / "Let's meet 2 minutes from my house" / "I'll let you know". Block and delete. Women with low interest will make your life miserable.
Be outcome independent. Remember that pretty women are a COMMODITY. High value men are rare. Very rare actually. You are the prize. She rejected you when you went for the kiss? Fucking laugh dude. She missed her chance.
Try to deal with high interest women. This is important. It's going to make your life easier.
Don't do lunch dates or any dates during the day. Fuck going to the movies. You want to make sure the logistic is right for things to lead to sex. I always do evening dates. Keep it simple, keep it stupid. Bar, then second bar, then pull to your place. Do not do dinner date. Fuck this shit. Keep your investment low.
If a woman argue with the logistic/flake, ghost her. I don't give a fuck. If she try to change the location or try to reschedule at the last minute, ghost the bitch. You want her to be on your program.
When texting, keep it simple and stupid. Texting is for logistics and to setup date. If she has high interest and wants to text, just be like: "Yeah it's a long story, I'll tell you that when I see you". Let her chase your ass. NEVER CHASE A WOMAN.
Approach women everywhere. You'll start becoming more comfortable talking to women and general. Your game will get better and you'll realize that most women are just basic insecure bitches. 99% of them have nothing else to offer but their pussy. You'll hate them, envy them and then pity them.

You have to remember one thing. Men are better than women. You are BETTER than them. ALWAYS ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS. You are better than the cute chick at the Starbucks. You are BETTER than the MILF with the huge tits that rejected your approach. You will ALWAYS better than them.

FearInoculum37 · 2021-07-18T16:10:36+00:00

The fact that you're putting yourself out there, regardless of your current situation (ex: dad bod, nice guy behavior) is great. You are miles ahead of guys that are just reading this sub and other material but not putting it into action.

I don't have any actual advice other than internalize all of the info in the sidebar and keep putting yourself out there.

The best advice I've ever gotten from this sub was from two weeks ago: "You don't have to be perfect to get the woman, you just have to try." Really changed my thought process on trying to achieve perfection.

Great work, keep going.

ForeverKarlMalone · 2021-07-18T19:41:39+00:00

I had the exact same problem starting out.

You have a long ways to go. I respect that you’re going for the kiss though.

dr_warlock · 2021-07-19T01:17:52+00:00

Dinner is not about the food, it's just a medium of interaction. Same thing with any other date. If you were just there to eat or have fun, why would you bring a girl that you're interested in?

What I'm saying is that you need to keep in mind that you're there to escalate... physical interaction. Verbal and body language is the first part of escalation and the compliment to the next stages, but eventually you HAVE to touch her.

The best way to escalate kissing is to start with hand, shoulder, forehead, or the cheek, somewhere that doesn't activate ASD alarms especially if she lets you embrace her or find an excuse to touch.

Without detailed information on how the interaction went and what you guys said, I can't give further guidance. But as donotreadthis said. First kiss shouldn't be 'makeout' kiss. Short and sweet then move on. Revisit that moment again later. Don't rush it.

Unforsaken_Dick · 2021-07-19T02:42:16+00:00

Brother, you have no idea how much I am rooting for you man. Mistakes sucks, for real. But your moving forward and putting yourself out there, compared to the 90% of other guys out there on the sidelines. That in itself is putting you above the rest of the mediocre men out there. I'm learning a lot from your mistakes and all the comments here since I'm in a bit similar situation. I'm redpilled, but still find myself getting into that bluepilled mindset without realizing it sometimes. Old habits are hard to get rid of, but it takes time man.

p3n1x · 2021-07-18T18:29:42+00:00

she said she doesn't kiss on the first date.

She does, just not with guys who can't make her break her rule.

but got personality and cocky but funny locked down.

This doesn't matter if you are bleeding out that 'beta' smell. It doesn't matter if you are overall 'boring'.

Just too emotional sometimes

This goes with my previous comment. NOT sometimes, you are all the time, internally. It's killing your outer presence/self-esteem.

You need some 'victories' that are not achieved via success with women. Success with a woman is not a victory, it is a reward for being victorious in the other areas of your life. If you win a race, you win a trophy. Chicks like guys with trophies. However, remember, she had jack shit to do with you winning that trophy.

For example, fix the dad bod. Find better work. Find better friends. Take on some fulfilling hobbies.

You have to like yourself first. How can she be happy if you can't show her how? You lead, they follow, period.

Keep grinding! Make sure you are abundant for YOURSELF, not for her sake.

rampitup55 · 2021-07-19T03:40:37+00:00

She was just practice. Next. And then Next. ... Next. You do it so much you get good at it man, just like anything else. Yeah it sucks in the beginning. You're shy, you don't think you should have to behave this way, and you don't feel comfortable. Keep doing it until those feelings go away. They will. Oddly, it helps me to find something ugly about the girl. Even the pretty ones will have some flaw that you can focus on (without staring lol) to help take her down a peg in your mind. As men, any visual flaw in a woman sticks out to us big time.

RedPillDad · 2021-07-19T01:50:46+00:00

Nothing you did was a fail. Don't look at it that way. Outcome independence means not caring if sex happens, even though you can maintain an assumptive approach that it will. Getting comfortable around women and escalating physically are big steps.

Women will categorize you as a Loser, Lover, Provider or Friend. If you want to be a Lover, you can't come off as a friendly Nice Guy or act in a supportive provisional manner.

shittyfuckdick · 2021-07-19T16:35:12+00:00

How do you have success on dating apps with a dad bod? I’m guessing you have a decent face/good pics?

Either way 3 dates in a week is solid man. Good job.

Rjw12141214 · 2021-07-20T05:38:02+00:00

Here are some tips off the cuff

1) hit the gym, eat right, sleep right, stop drinking during the week and excessively on weekends. This will improve your physical and mental state. Nothing is immediate but you will notice dramatic improvement over time. I’m speaking from experience.

2) make an effort not to look at your phone. Not only is this good for your mental but if you actually learn to not care about your phone you get better at not caring who texted you and how fast you respond

3) start cold approaching like a motherfucker. You will fail at first. Best idea is to go out with friends and force yourself to do it. The three second rule helps. Failing is NOT a bad thing. You will have time to reflect on your failures and think of better responses which will improve your game over time. Even the big red pill godfathers will admit they strike out most of the time so don’t feel bad about it. If you work volume you will find success.

4) decrease porn consumption and masturbation frequency. You don’t need to go cold Turkey but make a conscious effort. This will do wonders for your mental as well.

5) Find reliable RP sources (books, Twitter pages, insta pages, whatever). I particularly like Twitter because a lot of RP guys will post thought provoking scenarios like “she says X, how do you respond?” Read the comments and learn to recognize the good responses from the bad, and learn to reason why they are good or bad.

All of this comes with time. Everything I mentioned is popular RP content. You can go on YouTube and get many perspectives on everything I mentioned. Rollo Tomassi (rational male) YouTube is a great spot because he collabs a lot and talks every topic to death.

RP conditioning is something you can understand quickly, but not LEARN quickly. You need to retrain your mind. Focus on improving yourself. If you care about your success in the gym and in the bank more than anything, you will start to build a lineup of women over time and you will learn how to handle them accordingly. If you are brand new, read the first book in the rational male series, and then read it again once a month until it’s burned into your mind and every interaction with women you see in the world will ring alarm bells back to that book.

dontremindme6 · 2021-07-18T16:09:28+00:00

You're getting dates, so just keep working on it. Don't get psyched out by previous dates that didn't go well, it's just practice for the next one.

Also, don't just assume they aren't interested because they didn't kiss you on the first date. Try again and see what happens, especially if you weren't escalating prior to the kiss the first time.

d3g4d0 · 2021-07-18T20:54:58+00:00

If she makes you wait for it, it isn't worth it (sex). Soft next them and continue your journey. Sounds like you're doing alright brothaman

_-resonance-_ · 2021-07-19T04:39:48+00:00

make first date close to home and only if it’s something you’d do anyway, without her.

Indexxak · 2021-07-19T10:59:53+00:00

Personally I'd never go for a dinner date. I'd take her to a coffee for 15mins and once I see she meets the criteria I'd switch to activities. You can be super creative here and have a lot of fun. Stuff like pool, darts, bowling, walk in a park or some hike on a later dates. Don't talk about things but do things. Be creative. Women usually fall with how you make them feel rather than what you talk about. Building mutual attraction over a soaghetti or a beer is very difficult. I am sure there's a lot of dudes here that will say this is too much effort and that you should just take it to the bar near your place and that's probably OK if you're a genetically superior dude looking for ONS. But if you wanna date properly and stand out, take her by the hand and go do stuff with her.

throwabcdaway3 · 2021-07-18T18:27:06+00:00

"Bisexual chick, coffee date"

Lol. Like all chicks arent bisexual ?

TheSunshineMan · 2021-07-19T01:16:31+00:00

Watch 20 how to escalate on a date / how to escalate with a women videos on YouTube - read all the top threads in this sub about escalation and implement your new found knowledge.

Escalation starts from the very first minute - it starts with the hug and move up the ladder from there.

ThePermanentGuest · 2021-07-19T06:00:48+00:00

You need to relax. You're putting too much pressure on yourself as if you have something to prove. What's your end goal in all this? If you think by escalating and getting a girl in bed is going to change your beta behaviors, you have it backwards.

Change the way you see yourself first. You will still fail with women no matter how alpha you become. The point is to use your internal compass as your reference, not your external wins and losses.

OA12T2 · 2021-07-19T01:44:18+00:00

This ones easy - take her back to your place have some wine. A glass in say “let’s watch a movie,” but sit in a different chair/part of the couch if you don’t have multiple seats. Watch the movie but keep talking to her and having wine. Then out of nowhere 10-15 minutes in say, “I’m not going to lie I really want to cuddle the fuck out of you right now.” 98% of the time they say come over here. Then you cuddle and if you’re not an idiot, have fun. Never failed me yet and I’m 8-10 years older than these girls

oooKenshiooo · 2021-07-18T22:07:18+00:00

You not cocky funny, you are an asexual clown. Man the fuck up, lift some weights and start leading.

hiitsmrman · 2021-07-27T22:33:22+00:00

Brother taking the time to post this and ask a bunch of men how to live your life is far more beta than replying to a text the same day or whatever else you are worried about. Don’t over think this shit more than anything chicks want a dude they can feel comfortable with.

Title	Just Started, Failing Shit Tests And Not Closing
Author	IHateEditedBgMusic
Upvotes	87
Comments	59
Date	July 18, 2021 3:14 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/omse66/just_started_failing_shit_tests_and_not_closing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/just-started-failing-shit-tests-and-not-closing.793357 https://theredarchive.com/post/793357

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