How Much Do you Share with your SO?

little_red_ · 2016-02-25T03:25:36+00:00

I don't really know how to answer this - everything within reason. I share all my excitements and most of my big aggravations though I try not to just vent to him unless I'm looking for advice on handling a situation. I'm not going to complain that I had a bad hair day or tell him about what I read on RPW that day or just bury him in a sea of talk. It's important to share with your SO but there is a limit to how much they want to hear you talk and certain things they don't want to hear you talk about.

cats_or_get_out · 2016-02-25T03:38:07+00:00

I resist the urge to babble. The man has a 7,000 word listening limit each day. I select my words with care--most of the time.

Most women--hell, most people--talk incessantly about nothing at all.

blondie_brownie · 2016-02-25T03:38:30+00:00

I definitely don't withhold anything from my husband, but I also don't necessarily tell him everything that passes through my brain. For us, it's mostly situational and mood dependent. If he's busy, I try not to bother him, unless there's vital info he needs to know right now. If we have free time and feel like being verbally communicative, I'll give extraneous details or sometimes stream of consciousness (this is usually after an extended, relaxed time together). Most men hate drama, especially when it could embarrass them or require their involvement.

TempestTcup · 2016-02-25T04:04:50+00:00

We pretty much share everything in real time except at work, so there isn't a whole lot else to talk about; we generally live drama-free lives. We are also both introverts, so we sit quietly together a lot. We share things we read online and offline, our plans for the future, and I'm taking classes, but really, work stuff and class stuff takes about 3-5 sentences daily, LOL. We aren't really very wordy.

redpowderdivinity · 2016-02-25T07:13:50+00:00

Before learning about RP, I literally told him everything. After I realized that as he is more introverted than I am, that actually can be pretty exhausting for him, I cut down the chatter a lot. It took some getting used to since I'm (or was?) a person who wanted to share everything with her loved ones. However, I have learned to for example enjoy things on my own. Not everything needs to be shared, especially since the things delighting me are often tied to a context and suffer when explained.

As others have stated before me, I too think that it is important to keep your SO informed and not withhold anything that could affect his decisions. Also on a side note, if he's feeling energetic, I might be more chatty. In addition, if I feel for some reason that I need to be chatty, I might ask him if he minds me babbling silliness for the next couple of hours.

HappyWifeLife · 2016-02-25T14:02:26+00:00

How much is too much? When the eyes glaze over like a tasty doughnut and the interaction turns into "mmhmm, yes, i see, oh, hmmmm, mmmhmm."

only you can know what "too much" looks like on your man, we can't possibly know. But they don't have the capacity to hear our every little thought. Figure it out personally, ask him.

VintageVee · 2016-02-25T15:58:18+00:00

I share everything important, everything that would be lying by omission, anything that would cause problems if I didnt share it. And when invited to I share my worries, hopes, dreams...and we have conversations like that once a week or so. I share details of my day, but don't blabber on. I mostly ask about him, his day, listen to him. He returns that and asks about me, but my focus is on being his soft place and listening to him. What I dont share: I dont moan about aches/pains unless Im actually needing to go to the doctor (he'd be really upset if I didnt share that). I dont moan about my children or my exhusband - but will answer honestly if he asks if theyve been causing trouble. I dont share girlfriends secrets. I dont engage in gossip or repeat it. I dont burden him with the million tiny worries that flit through my head every day because I know they will be gone in the next wind. I dont talk about our future unless he initiates it. I dont talk to him about my beauty routine etc. I dont tell him when men flirt with me or hit on me (because it's never reciprocated and never encouraged) Having said all that, we talk a hell of a lot - I try not to make it about me, that's all!

2016-02-25T05:13:26+00:00

Things were always different for my husband and I. We have known each other since we were 15 so we've been through literally the last 12 years together. There's not a thought that passes through my head that I don't tell him.

littleteafox · 2016-02-25T16:04:43+00:00

I share important things, or things I think he will find interesting and want to talk about. We always ask each other how our days went, and we are in contact throughout the day in some way or another. But I am pretty introverted, and honestly I would like to talk more. He's the more talkative one :) His work is more exciting and involved with people than mine is, he has a huge family and network of people, and he's in the middle of flipping a house, so there's always something for him to talk about. I'm more quiet, though, do creative work on my own, no family around and I've never been one to gossip or small talk. I would like to come out of my shell a bit more, though. Plus I still feel a bit dreamy around him and sometimes my mind just goes blank :3

whistling_dixie · 2016-02-25T18:42:58+00:00

I answer any question he asks, and I tell him everything that he would actually care about. He doesn't want to hear about the client I'm getting ready to fire because they keep disregarding our advice, or about how I got stuck behind two trains today - he doesn't want to hear about those things because all they are is bitching.

Sounds like we probably don't talk much, right? Wrong. We email almost all day, talking about baseball, plans for the weekend, home improvement projects, and whatever interesting things we've seen on the internet. At home, he'll tell me about the silly conversation he had with his coworkers, or I'll tell him how my best friend couldn't figure out why her purse was making noise until she remembered the cowbell my boyfriend stuck in there. You don't have to talk constantly to be connected and have a good relationship.

Kittenkajira · 2016-02-25T19:08:43+00:00

I do tend to overshare. He's been known to interrupt me and tell me to cut it out if I'm rambling and he wants quiet. What I've been trying is to open with something like "I was just arguing with some people on the internet" and watch his face. I can totally tell when he's not at all interested in hearing it. If he has that look, I just leave it at that. You could try opening with "I'm having some family problems" and see how he reacts.

For the most part he loves that I get all girly and talk excitedly about something. He thinks it's cute, and will often have a look of part exasperation and part fondness. He likes to tease me about how I talk too much.

cakeforallofyou · 2016-02-26T00:22:21+00:00

If it's something affecting both of us, then of course. If it's just affecting me, and I'm doing an okay job of STFU and not being cranky, then I try to keep it to myself unless huscat asks specifically. It's about being open, but not being a burden. If you need to rant, find a female friend!

the_gingernaut · 2016-02-25T12:44:31+00:00

I share very little with my husband. I write and keep a journal for a reason, and I've never been much of a talker to begin with.

Title	How Much Do you Share with your SO?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	7
Comments	44
Date	February 25, 2016 3:12 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/47gx25/how_much_do_you_share_with_your_so/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-much-do-you-share-with-your-so.86009 https://theredarchive.com/post/86009

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