Theory: Men shouldn't have to pay jack shit if the wife divorces him

Hadashi_blacksky · 2018-08-04T10:55:34+00:00

If the courts gave joint custody more we wouldn't even be here trying to find another angle, I think.

ORJUAN_SC · 2018-08-04T11:16:51+00:00

It's always confused me why men pay women for divorce. What makes us so different that, no matter what, the man always pays the woman 10K a year for the rest of his life? Why isn't it the other way around? Why does it exist at all?

EricAllonde · 2018-08-04T11:13:38+00:00

It more or less works that way here in Australia.

The courts still divide the marital assets, unfortunately. But alimony is rarely granted, and only for a maximum of 3 years. The ex-wife has to show that she left the workforce to raise kids or whatever, and then the court will give her some amount of temporary alimony to support her while she does some retraining (if required), applies for jobs and gets back into the workforce.

If the ex-wife has been at home with kids for, say, 10+ years then she might get the maximum of 3 years. But if she only stopped work a year earlier, the court will likely presume she only needs a couple of months to get a job. And if she never stopped working at all, or has already gone back to work prior to the divorce, then she'll get no alimony.

It's not a perfect system; for example prenups are still voided often enough to be worrying. And any couple that lives together for a total of 2 years (even with breaks in the middle of that) are automatically treated as if they were married when it comes to the financial aspects of splitting up. But overall I think it's a step forwards from what the US and UK seem to have.

fasterfind · 2018-08-04T12:43:57+00:00

Women bring 80% of all divorce cases. You gotta ask why.
I wonder how that stat changes in countries where men don't get divorce raped where divorce = profit for life.

Yoda300 · 2018-08-04T13:14:34+00:00

That’s the rule in Arab countries actually. He is expected to take care of her financial needs only if they are married.

If she decides to break the marriage contract, then it’s on her. This is why divorce is rare in those communities.

RedPillVegas · 2018-08-04T15:42:46+00:00

Watch the documentary Divorce Inc to truly appreciate that divorce is an industry. With no alimony, automatic joint custody, and 50-50 asset splits there would be very little for lawyers and judges to do. Hence, lawyers and courts typically oppose any attempt to simplify the system.

YuenHsiaoTieng · 2018-08-04T13:13:40+00:00

Whoever initiates should get nothing.

Wishez · 2018-08-04T13:55:08+00:00

If the women makes more money she has to give the same to the ex husband no? Sorry I really don't know. Hope to never be without my husband.

GossBoblin · 2018-08-04T17:35:14+00:00

My friend and coworker was in the military when his wife CHEATED and DIVORCED him and has had multiple witch hunts against him to falsley accusing him of anything from molestation to domestic abuse in order to get full custody of their daughter. All cases are unfounded and dismissed in court and all of this has caused great mental distress on his daughter. He had to fight in court to get his wife to take her to a therapist so she had someone to talk to. (His daughter is much happier with having an unbiased party to report to). And he still only gets her for a week at a time and cant have full custody of her.

It sickens me because i have seen the hortible things she writes about him and all the lies she tells in order to punish him for wanting to remain in his childs life when she has said that she wants him gone. But she somehow retains the main custody of their daughter at their childs mental expense.

Louloubunnie · 2018-08-04T18:30:31+00:00

Right and that's how you keep abusers in power.

UltimateHarambe · 2018-08-04T18:44:20+00:00

This is out of the question. The title IV social securities act was created under FDR to outline how family related assistance programs would be run by the states. Under IV-D, the state's receive incentives for each dollar of child support received. 12 dollars in federal funding for every dollar collected in Texas, for example.

So, when you look at how family courts are engineered in most states, you'll notice things like:

Wages calculated BEFORE taxes.
Father visitation limited to every other weekend.
CS adjusted up with ease, but adjusting down is incredibly difficult.
CS being set for what a father COULD make at a different job, as if the father is choosing to be underemployed.
CS being set on a mother's word for what the husband makes when she files.
The family court's tendency to probe father's for hidden money.
The courts appointing expensive GALs on unfounded accusations.
Money given straight to the mother, bypassing the support office, is seen as a 'gift' by the courts.
Child support enforcement in the face of paternity fraud.

It's factual to say that states stand to make boatloads of money by keeping families broken and at war. It has very little to do with what the woman or child 'deserves' and everything to do with watering their cash tree with the blood of men.

Honestly, blaming women, or resenting them for this system is about as meaningful as blaming a rotten child for their own actions when their parents are the jackasses who enabled the behavior. There is no incentive for a women to play fair in family courts.

benderXX · 2018-08-04T20:29:52+00:00

1 Force everyone getting married into a marital contract, ie a pre-nup. Force both parties to seek independent counsel before signing and give 3 month cooling period on what is a Fully binding contract. Limit spousal support to not longer than 3 years and only if kids prevented earning power.

2 Mandatory access to kids for both parents unless judge deemed one unstable than NO access

3 Mandatory quick divorce settlements as quick as a Vegas marriage.

Rinse repeat and find the right partner

Cristi_Tanase · 2018-08-04T20:31:06+00:00

alimony for ADULTS is the shame of the world and only happens in a very few countries, all of them ANGLO btw...
child support should be 50-50 with common account, both parents PAYING EQUAL SUMS
child custody must be by default 50-50! Only in extreme circumstances or upon agreement other options could be taken into account
divorce means 50-50 marriage asset split, NOT INCLUDING personal wealth created before and after marriage
the woman must stop using the man's name and return to her maiden name, if she used before
all prenup contracts must be 100% enforced, no exceptions!

BionicTransWomyn · 2018-08-05T05:14:38+00:00

I generally agree with the sentiment, though the division of joint assets is kind of essential to the concept of marriage. Marriage is a financial contract by its nature.

Should a spouse automatically get a share of the other person's pension or alimony purely because they were married? Absolutely not.

However, the one exception in my view is when one of the partners made significant sacrifices to the marriage with a common accord with their spouse.

So say a military wife chooses to abandon a successful career because her husband has to move every 2 years, then yes, she is entitled to a certain time-limited financial support to get back on her feet. The husband would not have been able to benefit from a marriage and any possible children without his wife's sacrifices.

I don't believe in the idea that this compensation should be tied to "previous standard of living".

Similarly, if a woman gives up working with a common accord from her husband in order to take care of children, she is entitled to a certain level of compensation. Please note that I include the consent of both parties in these decisions. If a wife (or husband) simply decides to stop working, expecting the support of their partner, then they are not entitled to jack shit.

Same thing if a spouse works throughout the marriage, even if they make less than their spouse. Making less money does not mean you are entitled to the other person's money.

Frankly though, the simplest solution would simply be to get rid of marriage altogether. It's an antiquated institution that was meant to provide for the woman in exchange for sexual exclusivity. It was also meant to cement alliances and to make inheritance easy.

At this point, I don't think it's really required anymore, common-law partnerships provide easy guidelines for the division of common assets while also providing many of the same tax and family incentives.

kartu3 · 2018-08-05T11:41:47+00:00

I disagree. Laws should be gender neutral and rewards should be reasonable, but one of the partners sacrifices done for the kids should be rewarded.

ButIAmJackShit · 2018-08-05T21:34:58+00:00

I’d have to disagree

thxnwy · 2018-08-04T15:30:42+00:00

Until the family law changes you shouldn't get married and you shouldn't cohabitate in a common law marriage state.

turbulance4 · 2018-08-04T15:12:12+00:00

Point 1)

The hostility of your language completely ruined your message. "As it is, that bitch shouldn't get any of your money." Yes because all women are bitches right? Get your misogynist BS off this sub.

Point 2)

I divorced my ex (I brought the case) because she cheated on me. I didn't want to bother with proof of her infidelity because I just wanted her gone. Does that mean I should have to pay her? Because I brought the divorce?

Tedesche · 2018-08-04T17:02:09+00:00

All fathers want to help their children.

Unfortunately, not all parents of either gender want to help their kids. Deadbeat parents are a real thing, and they should absolutely be forced to pay child support, provided they initially agreed to having said children.

2018-08-04T21:16:20+00:00

Yep, that's the way it's done in most of the civilized world.

PeteyMax · 2018-08-05T00:32:02+00:00

Yes.

xXx_bayMAX_950_xXx · 2018-08-05T07:14:43+00:00

in india most divorce require man to give literally 50% of total asset, all property, gold ornamemt, cash and woman gets the child.

TheRavenousRabbit · 2018-08-05T14:55:06+00:00

A marriage in its modern state is not designed to be a mutual agreement, it is designed to fuel welfare from one person to another without the state having to fork the bill.

Lubbocklove · 2018-08-05T14:56:31+00:00

The fact that men have to pay anything is INSANE. I say this as a divorced woman. Back story: he cheated multiple times and I stayed because I knew he grew up with no father and his mother abused him and he was working through counseling at the time. I worked full time, took exceptional care of him, but he had a void that couldn’t be filled with what most would consider a normal, happy, highly sexual relationship. I tried to support him through it, but I couldn’t just be a doormat any longer. I talked with him about it and we mutually decided to get divorced. We have a daughter together who was almost 3 at the time. He traveled 5 of 7 days a week for work, so he suggested she live with me primarily and he’d visit. We did our entire divorce online and amicably. We are actually VERY good friends now because he realizes that I honestly just wanted him to be well and happy.

All that to say:the court forced him to pay child support even though my income didn’t change. Of course, it costs money to raise a child and we had already made arrangements outside of court for him to help with things for her to continue HER standard of living. So many “women” use child support to continue THEIR standard of living. If you are two sensible adults, you should be able to do things without court and state involvement. I write him a monthly check to re-pay child support back to him save for what we agreed to help pay for music lessons and he halves her school needs and other things with me, but it’s up to me to support myself.

Feminism is a goddamn cancer on society and is why the notion of family has fallen apart. If these bra burning fuck ups want to be equal, they need to be subjected to the harsh realities men face. I, for one, am now quite happy to stay home, wear pretty dresses and follow the happy husband rules of feed him, fuck him and worship him from the 20s-50s. Gender equality is bullshit and the war on men is real.

Badgerz92 · 2018-08-06T01:04:28+00:00

Men shouldn't have to pay as much as they do but to say that especially for at fault divorce, if the man cheats on her or abuses her, she should be left out to dry? Some women do take off their career and it will take time to pick it back up. Lifetime alimony should be abolished but it's extreme to say that women should always be cut off completely as soon as they are divorced. If she took several years off from work to care for the kids she needs support to get back on her feet, and if you're applying this to fault divorces you're forcing women to stay in abusive relationships.

Title	Theory: Men shouldn't have to pay jack shit if the wife divorces him
Author	noriann
Upvotes	154
Comments	80
Date	August 4, 2018 10:49 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/94iapg/theory_men_shouldnt_have_to_pay_jack_shit_if_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/theory-men-shouldnt-have-to-pay-jack-shit-if-the.896753 https://theredarchive.com/post/896753

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