I was bullied and told I hate women because I stand for men's rights.

TheRavenousRabbit · 2015-10-21T19:41:42+00:00

I've gone through sexual molestation by my mother. Feminists say that I'm an "attention seeker" if I say this. It's a common and disgusting tactic. You have to keep saying these things though. Ask them why they're rejecting the idea of men being viewed as victims. Ask them why men can't be victims as well as women.

Lethn · 2015-10-21T19:45:25+00:00

This is what happens when you let your political views be known to the world unfortunately, you end up quickly discovering who your real friends are. I've said this before but the most honest and reliable friends are the ones you can have political arguments with and then go on as normal afterwards.

It's going to happen in life if you stand up for yourself, that's just unfortunately the way things are.

enjoycarrots · 2015-10-22T00:31:36+00:00

What picture did you share? Just for context. I suspect fear of just this kind of reaction keeps a lot of otherwise sympathetic people in the shadows, not sharing their thoughts. Which is exactly what feminists want.

JChrisperrault · 2015-10-21T22:31:58+00:00

Thanks for sharing Men's issues on your social media. I know it is hard but we all have to do it for it to become accepted as a serious issue. They will attack us for a while but eventually as more and more of us come forward, they will have to accept it and debate it.

Most people don't want to debate the issue as they have become comfortable with the narrative that only women and minorities can suffer. Minorities and women don't have a reason to change this narrative and white knights... are just going to say what women say.

Do not try to argue with those people, it is not worth your time and it will get very frustrating. Just make your point and eject out of the conversation, this is how I do it. You can not convince the SJW what we want is that all the neutral people see the value of our cause and for this, all they need to see is the message, the abuse we receive afterward might scare them to come forward but inside the seed will be growing.

KEEP POSTING, You'RE MAKING A DIFFERENCE

If you need support on facebook, feel free to add me and tag me in the post, I'll put a supportive comment. Jean-Christophe Perrault.

giygas73 · 2015-10-22T01:42:48+00:00

Yeah, I once made some off hand comments about how a girl I knew didn't also consider that some of the things she was posting could also apply to both sexes and that those problems also affect men. I was bashed by like 3-4 people and then had to defend myself, which only caused even more flaming comments to commence. My response was to just unfriend those people and move on with it, pick your battles I guess is my advice.

pnw_diver · 2015-10-21T20:18:50+00:00

We all have this experience. Tipping the sacred cows of feminism puts you right in the crosshairs of every sanctimonious, entitled, indulged Social Justice Warrior near you.

MRA-automatron-2kb · 2015-10-21T22:18:39+00:00

I had people say in a refrain style: "You hate women" and women who got me fired.

I wish for you to find TRUE friends who like you for being a man and who understand and support your MRA cause.

chokingonlego · 2015-10-21T19:52:06+00:00

Sounds like they're not good friends. The point of being close friends is that you can have opposing beliefs and political views, yet you can separate your companionship and friendship with them from their beliefs. If they're bullying you, and verbally abusing you for your political views, screw them. It may be hard, but you need to find some better friends. Cause if that's how they treat others with separate political views, they're not nurturing or caring for your friendship.

cymrich · 2015-10-21T20:02:46+00:00

I've dealt with irrational people that grasp at straws just to label you as something you aren't... i.e. a black guy that parked in a way so that I could not pull in to my driveway suddenly started calling me racist after I asked him to move his car... because my car is red and I am white... in his own words "I should have seen the sign!" (spoken in as condescending manner as possible). Then he went on about a white man in a red car and racism until I eventually called the police and once they arrived he got in his car and left. I didn't have a clue what a red car would have to do with racism until someone I told the story to told me about the red suspenders that some white supremacists wear... apparently a red car equals red suspenders.

in any case it's the same mindset... there is no reasoning with these people. no matter what you saw they will just use fallacy after fallacy to claim you are something you aren't.

Raskolnikov1817 · 2015-10-22T02:02:23+00:00

I once brought up rape and sexual assault of men and a feminist friend began talking about how she was tired of men trying to appropriate feminism.

tio1w · 2015-10-21T22:28:32+00:00

HAE experienced anything like this

Yes, many people have.

and how did you respond?

To me it's quite simple. Your friends are human trash. Trash should be outside of your life. There might be practical considerations but you should distance yourself from these people.

DillipFayKick · 2015-10-21T22:42:31+00:00

Yep this is why I would never share anything men's rights related on Facebook. Immediate persecution, especially if you have progressive friends/acquaintances. On a side note, I'm sick and tired of having to preface every conversation about men's rights with the 1000 word essay on how you don't hate women.

Electroverted · 2015-10-22T02:47:03+00:00

Best advice I can give you: Unfollow the super bad ones who post shit every day. And keep your arguments quick and simple with the other friends when they post shit - don't get long winded or make a scene.

dangerousopinions · 2015-10-22T03:30:12+00:00

Listen, the reality is that for every person that shits on you, there is probably at least one other that agrees but isn't going to say so for fear of being attacked.

I personally don't say much and when I do I choose how I say it very carefully. Even then some people get upset. But I've had friends come to me in private and discuss it and I am always surprised by people's private opinions. Most people are reasonable. It's a small few that are actually radical. The problem is that these people are authoritarian and will smugly shout down any disagreement. People aren't willing to wade into these discussions as a result. The only ones that are, disagree with you.

raxical · 2015-10-22T13:05:46+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/3pp9z8/institutions_of_higher_indoctrination_a_short/

Revorob · 2015-10-24T02:27:44+00:00

In my experience feminists, manginas and all other such mentally deficient persons use ad hominem attacks as a substitute for reasoned argument. What happened to you is no different. The reason feminist-infected idiots do this is because they know you are right and there is no logical argument against your point. The only option left to them is an irrational attack such as the often-used ad hominem.

I have found the best way to deal with ad hominem attacks is to steer things back to the logical by asking questions like, "How does pointing out injustice towards men make me a sexist?" or "I thought feminists were in support of equality for both sexes. Surely this is an opportunity for feminists to prove it". At the same time, ignore any further ad hominem attacks. This works for me every time.

2015-10-22T03:06:21+00:00

Ask them: Tell me now why men should support women's issues?

azazelcrowley · 2015-10-21T21:29:21+00:00

Be prepared with facts and arguments, it's the only thing you can do.

2015-10-21T23:33:08+00:00

I've had even worse.

It's one thing to accuse you of women hating.

How about being told that, because of your priveledge as a white man, that what happened to you in the past is nothing compared to what women go through. That you are an anomaly that shouldn't be given equal priority.

Really affects your self-esteem.

jimmywiddle · 2015-10-22T00:35:08+00:00

If these "friends" are labelling you as a woman hater for highlighting male suffering through discrimination or any other means for that matter, then they are not very good or intelligent friends.

If it is happening on Facebook publicly simply state that you stand for everyones rights and for everyone can be a victim male or female and that means you also care about mens rights.

I have done this a number of times and lots of people will come to your aid when you describe it like that.

What you will probably find is that the feminist nut jobs will jump in and make some ridiculous obviously untrue sexist statement and at that point you have not only stood up to the ignorant but shown exactly what is wrong with modern day feminism.

TheDude41 · 2015-10-22T00:51:35+00:00

Chivalry is shit.

Do what I did.

Unfriend them, both on social media and in real life, and move on.

MRA-automatron-2kb · 2015-10-22T00:56:32+00:00

Hummm... maybe you could hang out on this forum instead...

and it's better to have one or 2 good friends than a bunch of so called flaky friends.

Vance87 · 2015-10-22T01:14:15+00:00

I have news for you, they aren't your friends

2015-10-22T03:43:26+00:00

I've been accused of using this cause as a means of trying to hide my true nature in court. Go figure.

wisty · 2015-10-22T04:45:40+00:00

Assuming they're guys, share another link with them - http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/oct/19/why-i-wont-date-another-male-feminist

How I'd phrase it:

Well, I hope none of the guys getting mad are just doing it to impress the ladies. It's a little sad if they are - no-one likes a white knight, and women aren't all as stupid as the white knights think they are.

It's possible that some of them can say, with a straight face, they're not just defending m'lady to be a white knight. But I doubt it.

Capitalsman · 2015-10-22T06:15:47+00:00

I was unfriended by my sister in-law for posting facebook things criticizing fucked up double standards and she said she was "tired of my women bashing" and she keeps trying to convert family members into labeling me a misogynist.

chafedinksmut · 2015-10-22T06:25:54+00:00

Always turn it around on them. "If what happened to me is a non-issue, then it's a non-issue when this happens to women. How about some of that equality, honey?" Or something similar....

Landjo · 2015-10-22T11:06:27+00:00

Be firm but conciliatory. In my experience, most people, even feminists, will acknowledge most of the main MRA issues. What people react against is anything that hints at the systemic nature of the issues men face - we, society and feminism, are loathe to acknowledge men as a group as potential victims of anything.

And focus on the common enemy: gender roles. Most people will accept some narrative along the lines of - we have liberated women, now we have to liberate men.

And if your friends will not even accept that, I would seriously question whether such levels of bigotry are worth your time and effort.

Griever114 · 2015-10-22T12:04:52+00:00

my closest friends have labeled me as women hating, attention seeking and this is a non issue.

If your "closest" friends think that of you, consider yourself lucky and drop them from your life. They weren't that close to being with to respond with that bigotted bullshit and should be dropped from your life. You are likely to be labeled as a mysogisnt from now on... cut your losses.

ExpendableOne · 2015-10-22T13:37:12+00:00

There are a lot of brain washed men out there, who have been completely indoctrinated into believing that women are oppressed by men, or that women just have it worse than men in every aspect of life. They are beyond misinformed and delusional, but they will certainly call you a woman-hater if you don't buy into their little narrative. To them, gender equality is misogyny. Anything that doesn't completely benefit women, or put women above men, is misogyny. They don't understand the difference between equality in opportunity vs equality in results(they think that women should represent 50% of any field, even if those fields are not equally applied to by women). These are men who are probably still very dependent on women's attention/approval, or who are emotionally dependent on women in general(which is kind of ironic, given that this powerlessness to women kind of completely contradicts this notion that women are powerless). In their minds, that's what being a man, or an "alpha male" is all about.

equiposeur · 2015-10-22T14:00:42+00:00

Feminists' go-to tactic is to attack the speaker, not the argument. So you need to understand that any attempt to explain will be met with personal attacks.

dontpet · 2015-10-23T19:51:26+00:00

It's the people that don't shut you down that you are reaching. The ones shutting you down are proving your point and doing your message a service.

ThePigmanAgain · 2015-10-22T03:57:56+00:00

Your friends are assholes and you are better off without them. There's only one asshole you need in your life, and that's the one between your butt-cheeks.

Alces_alces_gigas · 2015-10-22T03:45:52+00:00

Have you considered the possibility that your problem is not discrimination but rather that you are a whiny pussy??

turbulance4 · 2015-10-22T14:49:16+00:00

Yes, actually. I recently had an argument with a girlfriend that ended pretty poorly. In it, I used the phrase "wow, you're pretty worked up about this" which she took to mean that I was saying "because you're a woman, you're hysterical and irrational, also not capable of having a realistic debate on gender issues." It was all pretty much down hill from there. At one point I had to explain that /r/mensrights and /r/theredpill were two very different subreddits.

The problem is, really, that woman-hating, sexist, male pigs (if you will) do exist, and in noteworthy numbers. It's hard for someone not in the same circle to differentiate between "in support if men's rights" and "anti-women." And I think we're partly to blame. I think we don't do enough to stand apart from anti-woman groups. (Anyone who agrees with this, please comment or PM. I'm thinking of making a separate post about this specific subject)

How did I respond? I first started the reasons the MRM needs to exist (disposability of the male, reproductive/parental rights, etc) which she agreed were good causes. I then asked "how can I identify as someone who is in support of these causes, which you agree are good ones, without also bring consider a sexist male pig?" She didn't have much of an answer.

Title	I was bullied and told I hate women because I stand for men's rights.
Author	noahsygg
Upvotes	148
Comments	81
Date	October 21, 2015 7:16 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/3po7b7/i_was_bullied_and_told_i_hate_women_because_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/i-was-bullied-and-told-i-hate-women-because-i.968924 https://theredarchive.com/post/968924

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