Woman who had sex with 14-year-old boy is jailed for 3 years after appeals court rules suspended sentence too lenient

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[+]-PM_ME_YOUR_GENITALS -15 points-14 points-13 points 11 years ago* (22 children) | Copy Link

Why is everyone so quick to say that she abused him when we don't know the details of their relationship? Don't get me wrong, I'm not defending the women. In fact, she appears to be scum simply because of this...

"When their relationship came to light she tried to delete the messages they had exchanged and told a friend and the investigating police that the victim had raped her."

But that detail aside, I would like to point out this broader problem inherit in the way all underage sex cases involving teens are portrayed. We are jumping the gun by insinuating that the boy was forced to be involved when in reality we have no idea what actually conspired.

That's what really irks me about these cases of teenage sexual abuse. I was a fourteen year old boy once. If a somewhat attractive (read: not butt-ugly) mid-20s lady started messaging me and trying to initiate a sexual relationship, 14-year-old me would have been ecstatic. Like it or not, fourteen year old boys are excessively horny. I can't speak from personal experience, but I know teenage girls have many equivocal hormones raging as well. While I'm not condoning underage sex with minors, I am questioning the way they are immediately framed as innocent rape victims by the media and general public without any details to back it up. The reality is likely much more complex than that.

It's okay to accept this fact of life. Nobody is going to rightfully call you a pedophile over admitting that teenagers are horny and many would gladly consent to sex with an attractive adult.

[–]xynomaster[S] 6 points7 points8 points 11 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Jazzeki 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

So at what precise time and age does a person become capable of making those decisions?

it varries from person to person.

heck it is entirely possible i'm being unfair and you happened to be perfectly capable to make that choice at 14. you would then be a massive exception.

the law is too concrete to not have a distinct line. so we need a line and it's gonna be arbitary. if we say 14 is good enough way to many not ready people get's left behind. just as if we say 18 arguably we are to strict even if at that point some people will still fall into holes.

i can't tell you what time and age precisely. but i can tell you that your claim that it's 14 is wrong.

Keep in mind when you answer that for the majority of our history we didn't wait until 18 for marriage, kids and the responsibilities of adulthood.

because so many things we did for a majority of history was a good idea right?

[–]Giorria_Dubh 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Jazzeki 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

If humans have been doing it that way for hundreds of thousands of years without any serious problems,

first of all you knowledge of history is hillariously off here.

second to say it went of without serious problems is ignorant at best.

I just wonder if describing every single such encounter as unconsentual is actually helpful.

the law say the minor is unable to consent. how can there be consent when one party is unable to consent?

First of all, if we're actually concerned about the victim the entire thing should be anonymous.

i defiently agree. but that's an entirely different discussion.

it's a bit ridiculous to turn around and say "it's traumatic now" just because society's standards have changed.

don't be so fucking dramatic. nobody is saying it's automatically traumatic. well except for people like you going into absurd hyperbole.

[–]xynomaster[S] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Giorria_Dubh 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Well I would support Romeo and Juliet laws to make sex legal with someone 2-3 years older than you regardless of your age.

Sure, that would be a good start. Beats the hell out of the system we have here.

I think 18 is a good age because it's the boundary of high school. You generally have to do a lot of growing up after high school and the difference between freshman year of college and senior year of high school is bigger, in my opinion than between even 6th grade and senior year of high school.

I still don't get it though. If a 14 year old isn't traumatised by having sex with another 14 year old, why would we argue it'd happen if they have sex with an adult? Maybe it's just where I live, but teenagers are pretty independent and are expected to act like adults in most ways. Why is sex an exception?

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Wut?

Most African countries have the age of consent at 16 or 18. That's higher than Europe.

India and Indonesia (20% of world population) are 18 and 17 respectively. (Admittedly China is 14).

Ages of consent in eastern Europe are higher than in western Europe.

The real fucked up countries are Spain, Argentina, South Korea and Japan, which all have an age of consent at 13 (what the fuck) and the Middle East/Iran/Pakistan/Afghanistan which is usually "when you're married" which can be as young as 13 or before (again what the fuck).

There is a strange puritanical bent in English-speaking countries. America is the worst, having a mental breakdown at the idea of minors having sex (which they do, all the time, regardless of laws). Minors can view violence or even fire a gun but God forbid they see a fucking pair of tits on TV. 1/3 of American states (50% of the pop.) have 18 as the age of consent, another 1/3 of states are 17. Right up there with Indian/Indonesian/African laws.

17 and 18 are too high. Most people are capable of consenting to sex with an adult (who is not in charge of them) by then, and certainly with their peers. Fuck, most people have had sex already by 18.

13 is too low for obvious reasons. 14 is worrisome at best.

15/16 is a good age for laws.

Notably, Germany is 14 but only if the other partner is under 21.

[–]Giorria_Dubh 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Having looked it up, no I wouldn't say that's accurate. A large portion of africa is 16 to 18, and I've no doubt that that's how it works in the populous, modern cities. Out in the countryside? I doubt it. And eastern europe has lower ages than western europe on average. Same for asia, India has one of the oldest ages of consent in asia (phillipines is higher) but what's on paper, and what the actual rules of society are are two different things. Child brides still exist for example, and until recently it wasn't uncommon in china for boys to be married off to adult women (who would complete their upbringing).

Fuck, most people have had sex already by 18.

Yeah, this is my objection. If having consentual sex below the age of consent is deeply traumatic and screws you up, then trauma is the norm. Especially given that people traditionally married before that age in the past.

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[–]betamos 7 points8 points9 points 11 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

A lot of people, [...], seem completely against the idea that [...] any kid having sex with an older person, would be actively participating and was rather proud or happy about what had happen.

Of course it happens, but that's true for girls as well as boys. That is why there is an age of consent at all, because you are considered not mature enough to consent at all. In fact, females mature faster than males, so it makes no sense at all to question the victim's potential consent because he happens to be a boy.

high-fiving all his buddies

You do realize this sounds a bit like "because she was dressed like a slut, she wanted sex and shouldn't complain", but instead, "he is a guy, and then he should want sex with everyone always"? I don't know about you, but I wouldn't be one bit happy if I was tricked into sex with a half-psychotic adult woman when I was an insecure 14 year old. And I highly doubt my friends would high five me, or that I would high five them.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

That's...not the issue? You admitted it happens, as I'm sure a lot of people can agree to, however a lot of people don't want to admit that it happens. If that makes sense, I mean. Let me reword that. Lots of people can agree that it does in fact happen, however, any time a case like this is brought it up, everyone says how the kid is a victim, he's going to be damaged, completely ignoring the idea that he actively participated, was happy, proud, and boasted about what had happen. Does that make more sense? I think it does. Also, age of consent is an iffy topic. In Sweden, the age of consent is 15, if we're going by America's standards, every older person who has sex with a 15 year old is raping them, because they are not mature enough to consent. Does that seem...right? I don't think so.

Also I may have misunderstood what you were saying. My brain's kind all of the place, so sorry if I did.

Those two don't sound similar to me, one is saying "Oh, he could've done this for reasons not specified, it certainly wasn't stated that he wanted it because he's a guy and all guys want sex (I honestly don't know how you got that from what Ramen said.)" while the other is saying... Do I even need to finish this?

Rereading his post, it seems a bit douchey, and I can see the dislike for that, I was saying how it was a possibility this boy, and of course other boys, actually enjoyed it and aren't "victims". He's more or less going "There's no way he's upset, hell, he might've been been high-fiving his buddies. But, I guess to you guys, it's still a "real" trauma, right?"

So, I mean, fuck that guy, my point still stands, though.

[–]betamos 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]kragshot 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Age of Consent is a legal fiction. Of course, there are "children" who for whatever reason are more mature than their peers and can handle the emotional issues connected with sexual activity.

But the general idea where this came from is that we tied sexual development to biological age. You do realize that nearly all of these "age of consent" and "statuary rape" laws all focus on females, right? Because in our current "socially advanced culture," we considered fucking 12 year-old girls to be barbaric and only something that back-wood hicks and creepy foreigners from "the old country" did. Note that in the past, normally, biologically capable of safe and fully-functional sexual activity (fertile/potent) at age 12 and up.

And as for "kids fucking kids," there's a reason for the laws against that too. To put it bluntly; kids are forgetful, impulsive, and sometimes; just plain stupid. Hell; most 13 year-olds can't even masturbate responsibly yet...what are they gonna do when they get some real dick or pussy? Shit...teenage pregnancy is still a thing, you know.

But in the end; all of these underage sex laws are simply based on an assumption to err toward caution.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

That's a whole other issue that I really dislike as well. I haven't seem much people saying how a 12 year old boy having sex with an older person, is completely okay and that it's not wrong. I know some people do, more so with men than with females.

However, the reaction between the two is worlds apart. Fucking a 12 year old girl will get you seen as a horrible person, some wouldn't even consider you a "person" because of it. Fucking a 12 year old boy will get you some of the same responses, there will be outrage, but nowhere near the amount of outrage as girls usually get, and of course you'd also get some responses like "Lol, men can't be raped." "He's a boy, he wanted it, as they all do." and stuff like that.

Well, that's how I've seen that, anyway. You might see it differently.

I can see the reason for such a law, especially after that stupid ass "Lol let's get pregnant on purpose to be on this pregnancy show!" thing that went on a while back. I just think it should be...different. As in, it shouldn't be labeled as "rape". Two people, technically raping each other is just weird to me. Like how two drunk people having sex, have apparently raped each other. Well, to some people, to others (Looking at you, Tumblr.) if it's a male and female who are both too drunk to consent, then it's the guy who was the rapist,

Anyways, the fuck are we talking about, again? I think this turned in to a different direction.

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