Am I in the wrong here?

silmarp · 2024-06-26T01:44:51+00:00

No no no no no. You have to protect the kids. If she is involving herself with less than stellar individuals you might just save them. Screw her trauma, your obligations is to the kids and only the kids. Every single other person from 8 billion people can burn. Your obligations is to your kids and them alone.

Also if she is getting drugged that means she is using and that's a reason you should file full custody, otherwise you are failing as a parent. Get reassurance so she takes her head out of her butt.

Let's be fair here. She didn't get drugged without using drugs so you know. She is in a path to become a junkie so full custody might be the right choice.

Expert-Raccoon6097 · 2024-06-25T21:31:54+00:00

No you did exactly the right thing mate. Your job is to protect your children. Your stbxw is no longer under your umbrella of protection. She is making very poor decisions for herself and I hate to say it won't be good mother material for the next 18 mos or so until she is done with her slut phase.

Your lawyer is right you won't get full custody just off this incident, but if she really goes off the rails and heads down the drug rabbit hole better to have everything documented so you can keep your kids full time asap.

CheetahBackground285 · 2024-06-25T21:25:47+00:00

Nope. You seem to be right on point from where I’m standing. You need this on record. If it gets worse you will be able to use this along with other things to remove your kids from that environment. Document everything. Lawyer is completely right.

AttentiveOlderMan · 2024-06-25T13:25:57+00:00

I would be going for full custody tbh.

I’m not “victim blaming” here, if she got drugged and assaulted that’s awful and no one should have to go through that.

However, this isn’t about her, it’s about your kids and the simple facts are that she made choices that led to her “running off” with someone for 4 days (two of which she can’t remember) who drugged and assaulted her. That shows a complete lack of judgement and someone who isn’t fit to be raising kids if you ask me.

I wouldn’t be trying to prevent her from seeing the kids, but I’d be going for full custody with visitation where she gets to see the kids a couple days a week. That doesn’t mean they can’t stay with her, but legally she doesn’t have custody. That’s how my parents divorce was and my Dad never did anything like what your wife did.

Bumblebee56990 · 2024-06-25T12:50:48+00:00

You can include that the children can’t be around new partners unless you’ve been with said partner and year and both parents have met said partner. Protect your children. That’s your job at this point.

SaulBrewster · 2024-06-25T06:27:27+00:00

You are not wrong. She’s putting her best interests over those of your children. You can decide later what to do with the information received, but you have every right to be an informed parent. Hang in there man. It will get better

UnarmedSnail · 2024-06-25T03:41:40+00:00

As a kid who was left behind by my dad you have to do what you can to protect your kids from life fucking up kind of trauma if you can.

mrk177 · 2024-06-25T02:40:18+00:00

I think you did the right thing. She’s obviously not making good decisions right now. Good luck.

Any-Div-6055 · 2024-06-25T02:07:16+00:00

Wrong? No. Not in the least. But I would imagine her days of confiding are over.

Why did your wife get the subpoena? Why not go straight to the court records?

One-Donkey-9418 · 2024-06-25T01:50:55+00:00

Congrats! You are free of that train wreck. Just take care of your kids and ignore her.

Strict-Front-2375 · 2024-06-25T01:41:02+00:00

My ex wife was molested by one of her moms many rotating boyfriends. I'm not sure what practically you can do to prevent that, as like you said, a court failing to give the mother at least 50% custody is practically speaking not going to happen.

0neMinute · 2024-06-25T01:29:23+00:00

Fuck no, she is hanging around ppl that will eventually be around your kids. She was drugged enough to not remember two days and still stood around for another 2? Who will take care of your kids during that time if they aren’t also beaten or taken advantage of.

Title	Am I in the wrong here?
Author	Sinuks
Upvotes	11
Comments	16
Date	June 25, 2024 1:13 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1dntumz/am_i_in_the_wrong_here/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/am-i-in-the-wrong-here.1522173 https://theredarchive.com/post/1522173

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