Anyone here married but living separately successfully?

Amazing-Statement-43 · 2023-02-06T13:34:17+00:00

I have been separated for almost a year now. Emotional rollercoaster, it does help in the gym. I can use all my energy into my fitness. Lawyers are very expensive. Process is tiring. However slowly starting to enjoy the life again. Most of my dates treat me nicely and with sympathy. It's fun and so refreshing after an abusive, dominating and controlling snake of a wife.

Melynthos1492 · 2023-02-06T07:54:30+00:00

Nah it’s over once you move out no matter what lies she says

mshark2 · 2023-02-06T13:03:14+00:00

Separated 2+ years. My choice to leave a long term marriage. I was (am) the breadwinner. Pay for both households. The controlling and manipulation and “bad” stuff seems to sift to the bottom while good vibes start go appear. Still, something is off. No sexual attraction. We are nice to each other. She wants me to come back, bit not sure I am ready. Thinking I should just file and be done. Definitely stuck in ambivalence and indecision.

Zealousideal_Bug_418 · 2023-02-06T07:09:59+00:00

Yes bro, but going through as divorce. It’s difficult

SelectionNo3078 · 2023-02-06T14:00:40+00:00

Moved out December 2021

Tried a living apart together deal where I was back home on weekends

We were good when we were together but during the week she’d ignore my efforts to stay connected (wouldn’t take calls etc)

After 8 months of this I was planning to move in but found out about her hidden and lied about best friend at work. A divorced guy.

Since end of may 2022 there’s been very little time together

A handful of walks A few family dinners

She doesn’t want to put in any effort and says she is ready to divorce

I still think there’s someone else Maybe the work friend is just a friend and there’s another person I don’t know about

I’d do anything to heal our marriage but she doesn’t want to do here we go

Once we file it will move quickly

I’d still like to save it

Fyfel · 2023-02-07T00:37:05+00:00

Married but living separately successfully is an oxymoron. If you’re thinking of living separately I’m sorry to say the marriage is already over. Whoever suggested the idea is already contemplating divorce this is them just testing out those waters. Rip the band aid off and start moving on.

dday_throwaway3 · 2023-02-06T12:03:04+00:00

Living separately in the same home, or in separate homes?

Worth_Shoulder3006 · 2023-02-06T14:39:29+00:00

How do couples live separately? I understand the word, but the concept is confusing to me. You're still married, live separately but people go on dates? Is it even a legal term? What do you do with the kiddos if you have then? Man, it has to be expensive if one IA forking out a mortgage AND rent

First-Ad-9485 · 2023-02-07T05:59:50+00:00

Married for 8 years then I was separated for 5 months before we got legally separated and I moved back in for a year then she kicked me out for bs reasons. 1 year later and I just got divorced. I would say do not go the legal separation route. Take space if you need to while you go to counseling BUT if kids are involved that will often turn to a fight over who gets the kids when which then turns into arguing over how much child support is. If you can stay in the home and sleep in different room while you work through it. Hope this helps.

Certain-Line-6351 · 2023-02-06T09:14:46+00:00

I’m separated. Good terms. Went on a few dates together. Had fun.

Don’t feel “right”. I love her. But somethings off. It’s different. I hope it’ll change….but ultimately I just see it ending in divorce at this point.

James1933-75 · 2023-02-06T18:41:55+00:00

If she's the one pushing for the separation, just don't.

WhatOnceWas80 · 2023-02-07T13:49:21+00:00

Married 20+ years, wife demanded a separation last summer because she wasn't happy with the marriage. I am paying for a beautiful house where she lives, as well as a cheap (relatively), no frills, apartment for myself. We had a separation agreement drawn up which specifies monthly budget, child custody (60/40), who keeps pets, etc. It also specifies that either is free to date during this time if they desire.

It's been a huge blow financially trying to support two households on pretty much just my income, and I'm not saving what I would like to for retirement anymore. But honestly it's probably better than the financial shit hole I would be in post divorce.

When we first separated she stated that she needed a break to find herself and that maybe feelings would come back for me. She was adament for me not to make any advances, or push for anything physical whatsoever, but that maybe someday when she was ready she would ask me out on a date, or initiate something. That was over 6 months ago.

Right now we co-parent the best we can, but the latest from her is that there is still too much hurt there for her, and she can't help her feelings. But she also keeps saying she's not ready to give up and wants to keep waiting. Honestly I think it's more about keeping things the same and as stable for the kids as long as she can. I'm starting to doubt if she will ever feel anything for me ever again no matter how long I wait. It's hard because I still love her very much.

Title	Anyone here married but living separately successfully?
Author	laser_scalpel
Upvotes	9
Comments	25
Date	February 6, 2023 6:15 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/10uzi84/anyone_here_married_but_living_separately/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/anyone-here-married-but-living-separately.1151782 https://theredarchive.com/post/1151782

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