TL;DR: Ex keeps asking to do things together with the kids and I'm starting to fantasise about getting back together.

I feel weak and ashamed tbh, but I have to get it off my chest.

It started a while ago that she would ask to do things together. I would usually find an excuse not to, as I thought it was confusing on the children and I thought that she didn't ought to get to play family without actually being my wife.

However, a couple of times I did go and she'd try to make conversation. I'd be polite but not very warm and just focus on my children.

Recently she asked if I'd want to spend the night in a hotel, with the children, at a water park. She was suggesting staying in the same room. This immediately alarmed me. The divorce wasn't even final and I did not want to put myself in that precarious legal position.

So I declined but I thought it a shame the kids would miss out on the park, since neither of us alone could really safely take our two very young kids. So I said I'd just go to the park.

So we went and I actually ended up having a good time.

I'm now on my way for a hike with her and the kids and I've been catching myself entertaining fantasies about being a family again. I've even been dreaming that she tells me she made a mistake, and she's been hurting etc.

Rationally, I know this is all bullshit. I don't know exactly what her motives are for these invitations. Maybe she genuinely has no more feeling for me, and thinks she's doing something good for the kids.

But it's setting me back emotionally and I think I'm headed to a bad place.

Thanks for reading, fellas. Vent over.