Better in the end?

dday_throwaway3 · 2021-11-20T23:22:58+00:00

Four years after my divorce was final, and I'm living my best life. My only regret is not initiating the divorce sooner.

Mellonut · 2021-11-20T23:57:40+00:00

Definitely better in the end. The last two years of the marriage, separation and divorce were the worst in my life. The heartbreak and the shocking drama was almost too much to endure. Just getting that behind me was a huge relief. Feelings will remain for a bit, and the new life will be a bit scary, but the new freedom is incredible. One day, it will hit you - you didn’t think about her for once. Explore your new world, there ARE better times ahead.

Gattsama · 2021-11-21T00:57:21+00:00

I'm only separated. After 17y together and 12y married she asked me leave because she couldn't take the 'toxic / abuse' relationship anymore and needed space. I ultimately accepted. We own (I pay for) a 3060sqft single family home in a very nice neighborhood. She is a stay home hose wife with no kids. I am currently in a 700sqft airbnb (it's furnished looking for a place now, but will also need furniture). And I have never been more at peace :)

My marriage has been stressful. I can't remember the last time I was this at peace and had so little stress. I came back to my current pad, and it was dead silent inside. I found that SO relaxing. No list of chores to be done, or listening to how her day sucked, or how I suck, or this other person sucks...

Everyone is on their own journey. I moved out about 2yrs ago (for ~5days). At that time I took my PC, bike, playstation and jump rope. I thought I was going to workout, play games and study. Turns out I spend the first 3 days sleeping :) Woke up just to drink water and pee lol. I was that tired, but didn't know it.

I don't know your relationship. But mine was toxic, draining, stressful, frustrating. We haven't been intimate in over 2 years (not just sex, intimacy of any kind). And yeah, I have some anxiety and fear, but damn far more peace. Working out regular, eating better, lost 6lbs so far, no schedule, FAR LESS responsibility, and no drama.

Work on being the best you can be. Again, don't know your situation (kids, age, money, etc) but life is way to short to spend it in a toxic relationship.

Marriage is not meant to be endured. And I was enduring too long and far to much for too long. Also she is continuously talking about us getting back together (again separated, I told her I want to terminate). And that also feels good (and confusing).

You have to change up your mindset and recognize that you are the catch. She is f&cked without you, not the other way around, and you are going to go out there and enjoy / engage with love.

I love being separated. And looking forward to the final divorce.

47omek · 2021-11-21T03:50:35+00:00

Same me, but don't need a relationship. When I've got the kids I'm Superdad, and when I don't I do whatever the hell I want whenever I want. Despite the silly child support with 50/50 custody, my net worth is up massively in the 2 years post-divorce since I don't have to burn money on frivolous crap to look good to people that I don't care about. The 35%+ in raises in the last couple of years due to my improved performance at work as I know that every increase is MINE and mine alone takes the sting out of the CS.

Basic_Advance7627 · 2021-11-21T04:14:53+00:00

Excruciating pain finding out after her multiple affairs during our 27 year marriage. She was a stay at home mom who spent about 5k a month. I loved her with my all but after a few months saw how she drained me of everything. I picked myself up, met a great lady and plan to marry again first of the year. She loves me like I’ve never experienced or like I never knew possible. And yes I have more money now than I ever have in my entire 50 years of life.

KneeDeepThought · 2021-11-21T15:12:43+00:00

Seven years out from my divorce and I'm stacking cash and calculating early retirement dates while my abusive ex is still working weekends at her barely-above-min-wage office drone job.

It's almost like when you beat your husband and kidnap his kids Karma is watching and will come fuck you dry with a cheese grater. Her life has been shit since she crossed me and the best part is I didn't have to do anything to her, just sit back and watch the show.

PrettyCoolBear · 2021-11-21T07:02:06+00:00

the first two years after separation were the worst in my life. we also had a lot of issues with my younger son that only got worse when covid hit.

i met a good woman shortly after the separation and we were together three years but we separated recently due to her own mental health issues. i am not pursuing another relationship now.

my 18 yo son lives with me full time and we recently got a puppy so i am never alone anymore. and my other son is here every other week. that's all i need right now. i will jump back into dating again sometime in the future most likely, but just working on myself and my family for a while.

edit: i leaned on weed a lot during those first three years to escape the pain, but i discovered the hard way that if i'm feeling REALLY sad or REALLY stressed the weed amplified those feelings to the point where i was genuinely suicidal. you're probably gonna hurt like you never hurt before and you're likely gonna consider a variety of distractions. just keep an eye on how things affect you- make sure they actually help and don't make you feel worse.

TheRealDrWan · 2021-11-21T13:35:04+00:00

Why is divorce so expensive?

Because it’s worth it.

Funny_Wolverine_9 · 2021-11-21T23:05:18+00:00

Lots of great stories here guys! But remember, we are the successful men. 75% of all suicide victims are men. I'm sure there are a lot of homeless men and dead-men who ended their lives because of a horrible divorce.

I know I often hear stories about father's ending themselves alongside with their kids.

Please reach out to anyone you know who is going through a tough moment. Resources for men are extremely limited so we need to support each other. /r/mensrights

clayduglass · 2021-11-21T01:24:43+00:00

Life is so much better after freedom from jews

Bipolar_investor · 2021-11-20T23:55:50+00:00

Trust the process, do not fight it. Find ways to break free from your old shell. Everything will be alright as long as you start caring for your own "damn" self.

Ok ? ☺️

AbstractAndroid · 2021-11-21T19:31:15+00:00

Divorce is rough man, it’s hard to say if that’s what’s best for you. If you feel like your relationship is unrepairable then yes it’s better it’s hard when you have kids and you want to be around them all the time. If it’s just something conflicting, go to marriage counseling and give yourself time to make your relationship better.

Busy-Recording-1911 · 2021-11-22T00:27:57+00:00

Been dating a wonderful woman for seven months. We really hit it off. Have so much in common. Our values align so much more than my ex.

lkjaioi22jlkak23 · 2021-11-22T08:08:16+00:00

I have a high income and a pretty high net worth for my age. Never married. Just had hookups, friends with benefits and the occasional long-term relationships. I just come here to help other men get out of the mistakes they've made (getting married). I don't want kids and have a vasectomy (highly recommend it!)

I'm convinced that the maximum amount of happiness a man can get is by simply staying single forever and just getting what you can get through dating. Always keep one foot on the exit and bail when the relationship hits rough water. Don't bother trying to fix anything, simply find a new woman. Turns out women are more well behaved when you know they can't fuck around and certain women like to be with men that have maximum control over everything.

This strategy has worked for me flawless and my high income and assets are not exposed to risk from family courts. Paradise my friends, paradise!

Title	Better in the end?
Author	noosenz
Upvotes	12
Comments	25
Date	November 20, 2021 11:11 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/qyhbab/better_in_the_end/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/better-in-the-end.1082916 https://theredarchive.com/post/1082916

Comments