Caring about ex wife

Expensive_Sock_9902 · 2026-08-13T23:25:48+00:00

Yeah, I feel you. I try not to make her business my business. Blocked her on social media. Have told mutual friends and family that still follow her not to tell me anything they see. I don't want to know.

My young daughter told me she cut her eyelid in some way recently, beyond the initial "jesus how'd you manage that?" and some general sympathy id have for anyone else in the same position, i have to tell myself "oh well, thats her doing and her shit to deal with 🤷‍♂️"

Kakashiswifexx · 2026-08-12T16:06:27+00:00

Too old to be asking that.

No-Resolution5794 · 2026-08-12T12:53:06+00:00

Totally normal. Don't sweat it, it takes time to detach.

narkj · 2026-08-12T03:26:45+00:00

I don’t know how to fall out of love.

redditrock56 · 2026-08-11T23:47:49+00:00

Always remember, when you are worrying about her, she's getting her guts rearranged by Chad.

Fan_of_Sanity · 2026-08-11T17:56:43+00:00

I’m in the midst of divorce now, and can’t imagine that there will ever be a time when I don’t care about my STBX. Even though she initiated the divorce, I don’t hate her. We’ve had a lot of great years together, and I genuinely hope she’ll thrive on her own. I want nothing but good things for her.

ChippyChalmers · 2026-08-11T13:20:07+00:00

Your brain wired around her as your primary attachment figure to help you coregulate your nervous system. You're in withdrawal. It's not logical, it's neurochemical. In time she'll fade to indifference and your care will soften likely to friendship

Particular-Depth-973 · 2026-08-11T10:59:29+00:00

What is your parenting plan? How is her being the primary caregiver of your child fair to your child?

Ok_Perception_1836 · 2026-08-11T05:35:04+00:00

It's in your DNA. You'll learn to rewrite that or die.

Immediate-Story2562 · 2026-08-11T03:50:41+00:00

Could it be that you are holding onto a version of her that does not exist anymore?
If it did, wouldn't she still be with you?

domo_roboto · 2026-08-11T03:24:17+00:00

If you know the boundaries, can maintain it, and can keep your own emotions in check, then it's probably because you're fundamentally a good person, high empathy, and raised right. But if you're still emotionally entangled and can't let go over time, then it's something to work through with therapy.

curtdogg47 · 2026-08-11T02:56:15+00:00

Definitely man! First few months were rough!

It’s all part of the letting go process and as time goes on the thoughts slowly go away!

Lunfest · 2026-08-11T02:56:08+00:00

Of course. It's weird. Even when her new boyfriend dumped her, I felt sorry for her... and angry at him!

Key-Improvement2330 · 2026-08-11T02:53:20+00:00

You were married to her and unless it started as a loveless marriage you cared about one another at least part of the time.

Issue is you were married to her. Past tense. And now must work to disassociate what was and transition into what is.

I too have struggled with this. Luckily in my case we are childless and I can (and do) not talk with her, check her socials, etc. full no contact including blocking her to the full extent I can.

My advice would to do the same with the exception of the raising of your son. Very hard I know but in time you can start to wonder, worry, etc less and less about her.

Focus on yourself and the next chapter of your life. It’s the only way forward.

Title	Caring about ex wife
Author	A-aronthestar
Upvotes	9
Comments	16
Date	August 11, 2026 2:39 AM UTC (4 days ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1vl55oo/caring_about_ex_wife/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/caring-about-ex-wife.1632565 https://theredarchive.com/post/1632565

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