Change of perception

ExtraLettuce555 · 2026-02-25T18:34:51+00:00

We were hitting a lull in our marriage. She was somewhat out of shape. Good diet no exercise. But I Ioved her regardless because she was my person. Now she isn’t that, and she isn’t hot either. Just a representation of my mixed feelings. 🤷🏽

Legitimate-Error-633 · 2026-02-25T11:27:08+00:00

Yes totally. I have zero affection left for my ex wife.

She is a good-looking person but I know what she is capable of. Zero integrity.

Character_Pop_6628 · 2026-02-25T10:25:11+00:00

I was surprised when my colleagues saw pictures and videos of my ex and were impressed and kind of gawking. She is absolutely gross. To me. If she's new to you and on her best behavior and you're a desperate chump, yea, she's hot. I know better. Good luck, new guy... you're gonna need it

Immediate-Story2562 · 2026-02-25T04:57:25+00:00

STBXW went for a holiday overseas to 'visit' family. Came back with fake tattoo eyebrows.
It completely turned me off, thought it looked as fake as her finding herself trobe and that it must be hard to be almost 50.
Shame.

ApprehensiveSpare925 · 2026-02-25T02:10:35+00:00

Once you learn how someone thinks they can become unattractive. That’s my story.

Plastic_Efficiency35 · 2026-02-24T21:57:38+00:00

Men, most men,will look at their wives(back then) and think they are the hottest thing since sliced bread. Men don’t go by emotions or validation- the core- being the father,husband and man of the household.

Men overlooked many things. Men stayed faithful because of his family. Whatever it takes to keep the family , HAPPY.

SO, fast forward- now she s my ex! Does the perspective change? Ex is beautiful, but the ugliness of what she has DONE TO ME….makes her “ugly”

And that will always stay with me.

Gattsama · 2026-02-24T20:00:13+00:00

Super common. The ex was always a little overweight even when I first met her, and she became obese with time. Got as high as 250 lb and about 5'8. I truly didn't see it, yeah she was fat, yeah she could lose some weight, but I really thought that she looks hot most of the time.

During the divorce we had basically been deadbed for 2 years except for a love bomb attempt. When I first filed. I was throwing away pictures and found a picture of us at a family reunion and she looked horrible. I mean she was huge?! I truly could not see it when I was " was in love."

This is pretty typical.

LashkarNaraanji123 · 2026-02-24T19:35:19+00:00

Husband goggles, or the husband filter, is real. In your case, it's starting to fade.

When I first started the divorce, I went away for a week and when I came back to pick up the kids I was like "Wow, how did I not see how... old, she is!"

UrAristotle · 2026-02-24T19:30:02+00:00

We have school age kids so I see my ex at all the events.

She was never conventionally beautiful. I found her attractive because of her personality. Truly. She was my type.

Until she wasn’t. The divorce definitely did that. Now I can’t stand her and wonder why I put up with so much for so long.

Delicious-Curious · 2026-02-24T18:30:28+00:00

I’ve lost the attraction to my wife. I always wanted to have sex with her. Now it’s the furthest thing from my mind ever given how she has treated me. Her internal instability has made me go soft down there.

Ok-Cause1108 · 2026-02-24T18:10:41+00:00

I used to think my ex was gorgeous. She was hot when she was young and when you love someone you overlook the physical after kids and aging. Now I see her as average. I suppose dating much younger women will have that effect lol.

My advice for you though is to block her on everything. Staying connected in any way is only going to prolong the pain and stop you from healing. Give it a few years before you try to be friends.

TheConjugalVisit · 2026-02-24T17:18:09+00:00

I'm still attracted to her but after her GLP-1 and working out every morning at 4 AM (I could rarely get her to even go for a walk with me and had to wake her up every morning for work at 7:30 AM) she doesn't look like the woman I feel in love with, still looks good but lost her boobs entirely she used to have a nice rack and I couldn't get my hand fully around one. She almost looks like a stranger to me now...but I'm still in love with her, wish I weren't would make this so much easier.

Divorced-Daddy69 · 2026-02-24T17:03:27+00:00

I wish it was the same for me but rn while going to the process of divorce I’m getting more and more attracted to my soon to be ex wife

dystinct · 2026-02-24T16:41:10+00:00

I think that love lets you look past a lot. My ex was pretty but never really lost the baby weight. But I was in love with her and to me, she was the most beautiful woman in the world. When we divorced I felt very unattracted to her. Almost a repulsion.

Title	Change of perception
Author	JonahFeb
Upvotes	7
Comments	18
Date	February 24, 2026 4:36 PM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1rdl4j6/change_of_perception/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/change-of-perception.1574157 https://theredarchive.com/post/1574157

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