Divorced & in a relationship, need help!

dday_throwaway3 · 2023-01-05T10:44:58+00:00

Marriage has undergone drastic changes since the early 1970s. What used to be the bedrock of Western culture with life-long commitment and unbreakable barring the most severe circumstances, has been relegislated into something entirely new thanks to the lobbying efforts of radical feminists and the divorce industry. This includes legalized abortion, no-fault divorce, domestic violence laws and the concept of marital rape. The changes themselves were not wrong. However, the principal benefactor of these changes are modern women. And modern women have a sense of entitlement that is not possible to satisfy, thinking they can have it all. Magically they expect to juggle a marriage, career, parenting and social life with no hassle. When it doesn't work, the husband is the first to suffer. We live in a world where arguing with your wife is considered emotional abuse, telling her that she is spending too much is being a control freak, and wanting regular sex is misogyny. These same women cannot cook, clean or handle the kids without stressing out, but men are expected to make it better. In trying to make divorce fail-safe for homemaker or lower-earner spouses, society has made marriage unsafe for virtually everyone else. Marriage used to be a worthy goal for a man but today, not so much.

Marriage is a good idea; it’s how we execute it today that makes it one of the worst prospects imaginable for men. Marriage today has the potential to be the most damaging decision a man can make in his life – it’s a legal extortion scheme. You’re betting a woman half your net worth that you’ll love each other forever. Marriage is handing a woman an axe, then putting your head on a chopping block in the trust that she won’t cut it off. It’s not reciprocal. The modern state of matrimony has become the legal equivalent of gambling. Getting married is like betting half your stuff she won’t cheat on you. No matter what she contributed, or did not contribute to the marriage, half of your stuff is hers. If you are not married, she has no claim on your assets, nor you on hers. That fact alone makes rejecting marriage the smartest financial move a man can make, and lets you avoid career slavery. Marriage used to be a business and social partnership for the accumulation and conservation of wealth and the raising of children. Now marriage is the new retirement pension for modern women, rewarding them for breaking a contract. A woman that won’t take your name in a marriage will gladly take your house in a divorce. You can get the same effect of marriage by selling your house, giving all your money away and have someone castrate you. There is no incentive for men to get married. Society has stacked the deck against men in modern marriage. You are allowing the state to decide what happens to your wealth, your freedom, and your access to your children if a marriage doesn’t work out. Statistically marriage has become the worst decision a man can make in his life at present, yet so many men want to believe they won’t be one of those statistics.

By all measures, contemporary marriage is essentially what’s known as an unconscionable contract. Women are taking advantage of men in every way possible, and the government is enforcing this unscrupulous behavior. To sum the current circumstance: women have choices, men have responsibilities. Marriage only benefits women. Men accept all of the risk. Marriage amounts to a no-win struggle of mutually assured disappointment. In this era there are no appreciable advantages for men to marry even the most ideal of women. You can’t name one thing you get from marriage that you can’t get outside of marriage.

pk2at · 2023-01-05T05:39:36+00:00

Looks like you haven't learnt your lesson from the first marriage, why would you want to marry again?

TheBoyBand · 2023-01-05T05:17:04+00:00

The red flags all over this. Im not even going to start. But following for others perspectives.

Bipolar_investor · 2023-01-05T05:43:35+00:00

In bullet points :

You marry again, only if you want to, not because she wants to.
What people say should not meter to both of you, or don't even go on with this.
Toxic relationships exist even outside marriage, so are you her first boyfriend? Nowadays marriage matter less than relationships outside marriage unfortunately, just look at what women can throw out the window in a marriage.
I don't feel like you have learned anything from you divorce, if you have, use it.
What society do you live in? for more context.

Slow_Way1108 · 2023-01-05T10:29:34+00:00

If the opinions of others are going to dictate her actions, get out.

Part of what destroyed my marriage was the external antagonists that my wife gave credence to. You don't need those external antagonists in your life and you don't need a partner that prioritizes them over you.

Token_or_TolkienuPOS · 2023-01-05T14:46:11+00:00

If a man wants jump off a bridge despite knowing what's on the other side, who are we to stop him? Good luck

NothingIsEverEnough · 2023-01-05T18:10:09+00:00

What culture are you from that judge’s previous marriages?

Most western cultures don’t judge.

playerknowmore · 2023-01-05T16:43:22+00:00

Before we go off on the feminist; let's agree with greedy men lawyers did this to society. In sixty-four they passed the Equal Rights bill. Opening the workforce to women. They knew women in the workforce would most likely act like men for generations before. Worse they knew women would have way more options.

When they passed the Equal Rights bill the divorce rate was two percent. Greedy lawyers at the time knew the divorce rate would rise, so they made it easier to divorce. Later in the sixties, California passed no-fault divorce. In the next few years, most other states followed. The divorce rate went from two percent to fifty percent where it remains today.

There have been multiple multiple laws that followed that gave women equal rights, but no accountability. These women have raised a generation of soft men. No wonder combatant video games are the most popular games men play. The fantasy of what generations before them did, they live out in fantasy.

Men need women, but the way society is set up the only men who will survive women is those with self-respect. Men who will never love anyone as much as they love themselves. If you can love anyone more than yourself you are doomed.

Mountain_Collar_7620 · 2023-01-05T12:45:22+00:00

Awesome answer however as he said he’s in India. Most our woes don’t apply. Anyone got the doc handy that applied in the Middle A … ah, Golden Age of Matrimony ?

“Some of the above may not apply, beware of in-laws and relatives with weaponry” kind of thing ?

SuggestionSmooth1202 · 2023-01-05T16:00:19+00:00

My question is how did the divorce end when it went to court with just a few month marriage. Any splitting anything. Im in the boat. 5 month marriage

Kaintaro · 2023-01-05T18:38:42+00:00

Not sure why being previously married would matter unless you still are. Being divorced is not a bad thing. That is taking virginity culture to an extreme, and that entire culture is dumb as shit. Tell her siblings to shut up and mind their business.

Title	Divorced & in a relationship, need help!
Author	whaddup0
Upvotes	7
Comments	36
Date	January 5, 2023 5:04 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/103q70h/divorced_in_a_relationship_need_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/divorced-in-a-relationship-need-help.1146979 https://theredarchive.com/post/1146979

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