Endless projection and it’s all so clear

loveischemicals · 2024-09-19T17:45:47+00:00

It’s insane to me that she could demand you “earn your way out of a dead bedroom” but men expecting sex after bending over backwards to provide and care for a woman is “coercion” or “abuse” even if they’re doing nothing more than asking politely.

I get that nobody is entitled to someone’s body but clearly both scenarios are blatant manipulation using sex. That’s such a double standard and men should be able to claim that making sex transactional like this is also coercion.

WorldlySession5904 · 2024-09-16T23:04:54+00:00

Wowsers. Yeah same situation with my STBX. Always worried about who I’m talking to at work and sleeping with another guy frequently. Many times now. The projection is so unreal. Once you see it, you can’t unsee it. Good riddance!

upvotersfortruth · 2024-09-16T06:29:02+00:00

Amazing how clear that rear view mirror is ...

xjeeperx · 2024-09-16T04:25:12+00:00

Yep, all the pieces fall into place when you’re able to take a step back.

Mine was always making little accusations, then as soon as everything was finalized she’s got a boyfriend moved in and everything clicked.

Brirex21 · 2024-09-15T18:39:44+00:00

This post explained the last 4 years of my marriage. Complete projection, she made me feel awful about myself. Now it all makes sense. She left me and my two boys (13 & 10) for her boss at work. I’m still in the process of divorce and cannot wait until it’s final. I just wish I could completely remove her from my life but I will need to coparent respectfully, which I will gladly do for my boys.

We both need to hang in there.

I’m sorry for anyone who is feeling the pain, deceit, anger I am feeling.

This sucks.

godsawiwasdog · 2024-09-15T16:48:10+00:00

This is something I've always struggled with my partner.

If I exhibit a behavior, it's wrong; but if she exhibits the same behavior, it's justified. To put a label on it, it's a combination of: confirmation bias, actor-observer bias, self-serving bias, and a lack of empathy/perspective.

I have never been able to get her to acknowledge that this is fundamentally unfair, even with the help of a marriage counselor. It's why we're going through a divorce.

CrazySanta7 · 2024-09-15T15:18:15+00:00

This is how most women work. It's the rule, not the exception.

TheSamurabbi · 2024-09-15T11:36:03+00:00

“Earn my way out of the dead bedroom she created”

Good fucking riddance, dude. Don’t look back

SnooDucks2052 · 2024-09-15T11:28:03+00:00

She ain’t your person. Period.

Telrom_1 · 2024-09-15T10:59:37+00:00

Let validation be the end of this. Carry it no further. Work on getting your divorce finalized. You’re the prize! Let her bottom feed where-ever she wants.

Title	Endless projection and it’s all so clear
Author	Several-Eagle4141
Upvotes	45
Comments	13
Date	September 15, 2024 10:48 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1fh9r58/endless_projection_and_its_all_so_clear/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/endless-projection-and-its-all-so-clear.1530292 https://theredarchive.com/post/1530292

Comments