Feel I’m heading towards Divorce? Prep question.

azwildcat74 · 2023-08-09T14:42:04+00:00

Start "depleting" cash reserves, stop contributing, start "spending" a lot more cash. Start attacking marital debts with actual marital funds

ciscokid12345 · 2023-08-09T17:16:38+00:00

yeah i agree. make all of your cash slowly disappear. every gas fill up pull out $50. every grocery visit pull out $100. i was able to make about $10,000 in cash disappear before the asset discovery was requested. so glad i did.

captainchippsixx · 2023-08-09T14:51:06+00:00

What he said. Stop contributions. Right time to buy the car you have wanted (within reason- like a jeep or what not). Make it a happy place to be.

If she is spiteful her goal is to setup you paying her, take as many assets as ehe can, use the credit cards, and stall divorce so you keep having to pay for everything. So have a plan for that. Start thinking what info do I have that I can leverage on her. Vice versa she knows your secrets to. Don’t give free assets to her. “Oh you can have the furniture and tvs etc but it will cost you $5k in assets.”

mjmsouth · 2023-08-09T20:14:06+00:00

My car is pretty much almost Paid for. I’ve been paying down my debts to almost nothing. Was hoping to have no loans or debts paid off by year’s end and before this all starts making moves. would it be more beneficial to have a car payment and chose a higher rent nicer place to reside.have credit card debit? would that offset what i might have to pay her so she cant live it up on my dime? We share a mortgage on a home with sky rocketing value. We both would not be able to afford a new home in this area at all. and rent for ok two bedroom apartment starts low end $1600 a month. Guess was dreaming we would go our own way get decent two bedroom apartments same community. work through 50/50 with the kids.

enigmaroboto · 2023-08-09T15:22:49+00:00

Get the best divorce lawyer that you can afford because he or she will be worth their weight in gold. Start asking people who is the meanest nastiest and most experienced divorce lawyer in town and do a consultation. , when you go take all your financial documents and information because if you decide to hire that attorney every second you speak to them you will be charged, so if you bring everything that you need and discuss the information at the consultation you will save a ton of money.

mjmsouth · 2023-08-09T15:10:05+00:00

We are pretty separate in finances. We both have similar income. We have separate checking account. We both transfer to joint account for mortgage. That separate account also is used for taxes and now recently vet bills for family pets she wanted. Both have separate car payment and credit card payments. I handle utilities and lawn maintenance and home care items like termite bond hoa ect. , healthcare for the 4 of us, car insurance. She handles kids stuff gymnastics, swimming schools supply’s/needs toys clothing. Groceries were agreed to be primarily her but I seem to be the one taking on more of that.

She’s willy-nilly with finance and spending. And will not and has not wanted to really work on savings,investments, retirement home improvements.

Fwooply · 2023-08-09T18:30:25+00:00

The advice here is brutal but solid. My ex wife got to the cash first. This was after papers were served. In CA, petitioning is supposed to freeze everything and prevent these games. She got about 10k anyway.

It didn't even make a blip on the divorce negotiations or come up in court. It'd cost money to litigate.

Moving assets is shady in my opinion. But at the end of the day, cash bank accounts are small fries, possession is 9/10ths of the law, and the ROs are a joke.

Anecdotal, but the odds of getting in trouble are low.

SuperConfused40 · 2023-08-09T21:19:10+00:00

Imo it doesn't matter. Assume it will all be split 50/50. Might be nice to have a bit higher cash totals.

berzerker5000 · 2023-08-10T06:21:26+00:00

Re: lawyers. This was said in a comment. But call all the good lawyers in town so she can’t use them. Do a consult if you want with them. I found the consults useful and knew when I landed the right lawyer. He is the most experienced, gnarliest, meanest SOB who loves the courtroom and doesn’t charge an arm an a leg. Don’t necessarily go with some big firm with tons of paralegals cuz they are pricier. Ask other lawyers who they respect in the courtroom. That is how I found mine. Definitely get one local that knows the judges well.

Title	Feel I’m heading towards Divorce? Prep question.
Author	mjmsouth
Upvotes	8
Comments	22
Date	August 9, 2023 1:36 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/15mfkao/feel_im_heading_towards_divorce_prep_question/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/feel-im-heading-towards-divorce-prep-question.1227940 https://theredarchive.com/post/1227940

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