Mother Shall Have Final decision making on all major decisions.

Reddit188869 · 2024-02-21T05:27:32+00:00

Yep, i’ve seen it asked for many many times. Do not sign it. Negotiate and have that as a line you won’t cross. Your kids need BOTH parents involved in all major life decisions until emancipation. Don’t sweat it, more often than not, if it’s still a draft, it is simply another point for her to negotiate you down on (aka we can have joint legal custody if you accept XYZ less” elsewhere in the document. Standard narcissistic shit.

P.S. in some states the ‘tiebreaker’ can only be a judge, which sort of forces you two to agree.

FUMoney · 2024-02-19T22:44:25+00:00

Is this a draft? Or is this your final order that you signed? If the latter, you are well and truly fucked.

Everyonelookatme1 · 2024-02-19T20:57:08+00:00

Don’t sign!

dnbndnb · 2024-02-19T20:19:16+00:00

Imagine if your wife decided your kids were “trans”. You have no say in their medical decisions. Or she decides to move away. Can’t stop that either. Agreement calls for split of all child expenses? How’s private school costs working for you? And on and on. Don’t do it.

dday_throwaway3 · 2024-02-19T19:14:12+00:00

It means what it says.

If she wants to put your kids in therapy, she can without your permission.

If she wants to move kids to another school district, she can without your permission.

If she wants to put your kids in an extracurricular activity, she can without your permission.

Same thing with religion.

Creepy_Contract_4852 · 2024-02-19T18:36:10+00:00

Ok this is not cool, it is misandrist and plays to the "mother knows best" bulls^&t.
I have in my agreement tie breaker rules: for example in medical issues, the tie breaker is the doctor...work wth your lawyer to get the correct wording.

denvercaniac · 2024-02-19T17:17:57+00:00

Don't sign, make her negotiate into a saner deal.

jimsmythee · 2024-02-19T16:31:45+00:00

Don't sign that.

Are you getting visitation only? Or 50/50 custody? What kind of joint custody do you see in that agreement?

Here is the deal, if you sign that? She will have sole decision making authority over you. "Sorry, the kids don't want to see you this weekend." And then she'll take you back to court, as the kids haven't seen you in months, due to her instigation, and then she'll get you busted down to 0 parenting time, and then upping your CS$ payments to her.

TechnicalAd5152 · 2024-02-19T15:04:56+00:00

I wouldn't agree to anything that isn't 50/50 decision making, and don't fall for that she's the tie breaker because that's essentially final decision making power. A lot of people talk about 50/50 parenting time but decision making is a bigger hill to die on imo especially if your wife is a control freak she'll do whatever she wants and send you the bill. One that's overlooked a lot is extracurricular. And make it that's your child can only be in two activities per season and whatever else she signs them up for she has to pay %100 on if it's not agreed upon

DivorceRecoveryMen · 2024-02-19T14:57:56+00:00

Nope. Don't sign. 50/50 decision making. Talk to your lawyer.

LonelyNC123 · 2024-02-19T13:15:00+00:00

Your concerns are valid. This is massive over-reach by her.

Suppose she decides your children belong in the most expensive Private School in town instead of public school. Are you left paying that bill? Or suppose she sends them to a Religious Fanatic school?

HELL NO.

No-Exit6560 · 2024-02-19T12:24:03+00:00

You are going to get fucked if you sign that.

What the hell is your lawyer saying about this?

YES it essentially gives her complete control.

TechnicalAd5152 · 2024-02-19T12:18:41+00:00

Fuck that noise don't agree to that shit

Heavy_Guitar_4848 · 2024-02-19T11:55:55+00:00

It’s called an agreement for a reason. DO NOT agree to that. Have your lawyer go over it with a fine tooth comb and resubmit a new agreement. You can either make a new one with language slanted your way or just play it reasonable from the beginning.

potatotornado44 · 2024-02-19T10:35:41+00:00

Dude, where the F were you when this thing was drafted? Hoping for your sake it’s not final yet.

Never agree to ANYTHING but 50% decision making power.

There should be a dollar amount limit which requires your written (OFW) approval on ALL expenses.

Also, the kids should only be allowed to participate in extracurriculars that they’ve historically been a part of, unless you want to pay for a month long sailing camp in the Bahamas.

My X tried registering both kids for away-camp this summer, until I showed her the parenting agreement and informed her that she’d be paying the entire bill.

She dropped that idea pretty quick.

Title	Mother Shall Have Final decision making on all major decisions.
Author	mjmsouth
Upvotes	8
Comments	20
Date	February 19, 2024 10:14 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1auk02r/mother_shall_have_final_decision_making_on_all/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/mother-shall-have-final-decision-making-on-all.1245828 https://theredarchive.com/post/1245828

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