Slap in the face 🤯

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2023-09-10T22:10:59+00:00

Her and her lawyer are running the show and you’re being lead like a lamb to the slaughter. Get a lawyer wtf are you doing letting her dictate all of this? Yes, you can request monthly statements and you may have a dissipation argument since it’s a very clear setup to dump half her debt on you.

Flashy_Yam967 · 2023-09-10T22:22:30+00:00

My ex and I exchanged 2 years of bank and credit card statements. That showed me she had spent thousands on the cash app I knew nothing about and tens of thousands of cash withdraws in the previous years I knew nothing about. I alleged it was financial misconduct and it came off our 50/50 split. Get at least 2 years of her financials before you agree to a financial settlement.

Regular-Bat-4449 · 2023-09-10T22:07:28+00:00

You need your own lawyer

SpiritualEnema · 2023-09-10T23:48:27+00:00

Probably financing an affair or spending money on frivolous purchases

MidniteOG · 2023-09-11T00:36:31+00:00

Blows my mind that something in her name can be tied to you… insanity

captainchippsixx · 2023-09-10T22:25:07+00:00

Need to look at those statements. What did she spend it on. Did she take cash advances.

upvotersfortruth · 2023-09-11T00:58:30+00:00

She's not your wife. She's not your friend. She's not someone who you should trust with your money, emotions, or anything. You can take things personally or emotionally, but all that's going to do is keep you two steps behind.

You will get all her credit card statements as part of the divorce discovery and hopefully there is a way to push some portion of it to be her sole debt. But if not, your solution, if you want financial parity: more debt. Be careful and talk to your lawyer because the chances of your debt being labeled sole increase the closer it is to the divorce. Personally, I'd go buy that car you've always wanted - with approximately 23k of debt. anyways ... consult your lawyer.

You need to get out of the marriage mindset. Generosity, reasonableness, kindness, thoughtfulness - all of that makes you a fucking sucker now. Unless - one big but - you get something in exchange. Start thinking transactionally.

scivi92 · 2023-09-10T23:15:56+00:00

You will get access, through discovery requests, of bank and credit card statements. It'll just be a bunch of back and forth until you both agree on how to split money assets and debts along with children etc

NotUsedUsernameYet · 2023-09-10T23:56:45+00:00

Lawyers will request documents from other party, this process is called “discovery”. You will be able to look at these statements. Talk to your attorney about that.

SomeFaithlessness339 · 2023-09-11T01:54:20+00:00

It’s a common trick. Instead of hiding money - spend money and split costs with other party. Bring it up and judge will not be happy with her.

Basic_Advance7627 · 2023-09-11T02:20:12+00:00

Brother she is your enemy. Get out of your heart and in your head. This is a fight for your life, your future.

techrmd3 · 2023-09-11T02:37:00+00:00

your play is to GET RID of the over spender dude

Look, you are getting a divorce. Now you have a BIG reason to move quickly. You think 23k is a big debt?

In a year during divorce proceedings prior to final she may spend 30k+.

I'm not kidding. So just offer to pay 60 or 75% of her debt on that card.

Get ready for other oopsie type disclosures. Get it all out. Offer her a deal. Pay more than you should for her to move forward on the divorce and agree to division.

Get the division in writing, once it's in writing its more difficult for her to mess with numbers (which will move).

suck it up pay for her out of control spending last year with a smile so YOU DONT HAVE TO PAY FOR HER NEXT YEAR.

silmarp · 2023-09-11T02:22:12+00:00

Your lawyer will subpoena the bank and discover where it's gone to.

Outrageous_Bunch_204 · 2023-09-11T07:15:39+00:00

Two words: Forensic Financial Analysis. Do not let her play you for a fool. Twelve months of cashing out small amounts so it would go undetected is a go to strategy. And she has a substantial best egg on your dime. A financial analyst will find all accounts and will track the transactions- it will cost you but the return of dignity and financial equality is tenfold. If anything it would reveal her character to the court to hopefully win you deserved favor. Good luck.

GreenUse1398 · 2023-09-11T07:51:40+00:00

Are you sure she's not using her credit card to withdraw cash? If she has nothing to show for it? She might be stashing cash somewhere, and if you pay half the cc debt, she's just made herself 11.5k (minus credit card fees when she pays it off).

heartless_monk · 2023-09-11T12:37:28+00:00

she’s definitely fucking someone else man.

lawyer up and run her through the gutter.

pk2at · 2023-09-11T14:23:34+00:00

This is quite a common tactic and depending on your state, you can do absolutely nothing to mostly nothing. That mostly nothing involves filing for forced disclosure, making a case in front of the judge for wasting marital assets and hoping the judge considers your request. Check my previous posts, the probability of this happening is quite small

PokerFriend247 · 2023-09-11T08:34:37+00:00

She bought stuff probably for friends/family and then sold it for cash. Maybe a side hustle even.

DatabaseSpace · 2023-09-11T16:55:36+00:00

When the lawyers write up the settlement agreement put in there that she keeps her credit card debt and you keep yours. If she is making the same amount as you this seems fine. This type of thing was in my agreement.

Sea-Shallot · 2023-09-11T19:04:46+00:00

I never knew how men were willing to bind themselves financially to another person, let alone a woman

Title	Slap in the face 🤯
Author	mjmsouth
Upvotes	32
Comments	25
Date	September 10, 2023 9:49 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/16fcvu8/slap_in_the_face/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/slap-in-the-face.1231148 https://theredarchive.com/post/1231148

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