So I’m in the middle of marriage counseling with my wife. Very blind sided by all this and still shell shocked that anything was that bad in the marriage. She has dropped hints over the years that she wishes we were more romantic but same old story, 3 kids makes that quite impossible a lot of the time. She also has depression and anxiety so she self isolates a lot and leaves me to tend to the kids at night.

Have to say that the best part of our marriage is the home, the kids, the nights spent hanging out with them, and the times me and my wife can go out for a meal which is pretty regular. I thought things were ok, so I’m a bit heartbroken. I think the main thing is that I can’t tell a lot of the time if she is unhappy because of me or because of her depression. So essentially I can’t tell what’s bugging her until it’s gotten so bad that she comes down on me like a ton of bricks. I’m not perfect, definitely could step it up as a husband but it’s hard with everything going on with my job and the kids.

I’m trying to get my head wrapped around this and willing to work at it for sure. The thing that scares the absolute crap out of me is missing my kids if we do get divorced. How do you deal with the wife getting the house and you having to move in with friends or family and only seeing your kids on the weekend? It just makes me so worried that my kids will have to grow up with divorced parents and it will affect them horribly. Also, the thought of just being alone all the time by myself in an apartment makes me want to throw up. Have a failed as a father? Goddam it this sucks.