Just realized

NewDay0110 · 2025-09-20T05:31:13+00:00

My wife did the same. Whenever she would say "my family" it was never to refer to me and her and our daughter. She always meant her and her parents.

jimsmythee · 2025-09-18T04:08:54+00:00

Oh trust me. I found out the same thing. I came second to her family.

I remember her trying to get me to clear out and get rid of my stuff out of the garage, so that there would be more room in my garage for her sisters' junk. Think dog chewed tables, soiled recliner chairs, broken down dressers.

She was always trying to get me to do the yard work at her parents' house.

Always trying to get me to do favors for her sisters and her niece.

The final straw was that she told me that if her mother became ill, that she would come to live with us, and her mother is allergic to cats, so me and our 2 daughters would have to get rid of them.

I wasn't about to re-home the cats. That would devastate our 2 daughters. So I re-homed the exwife.

An_Alone_Wolf · 2025-09-17T14:46:09+00:00

OMG I feel your pain! We couldn't move anywhere farther than a short drive away from her family. She wanted a kid and I was down for it but we could never feel like we were in a stable financial situation because we had to live in one of the most expensive areas in the country and she refused to consider moving elsewhere. She called her grandmother EVERY MORNING. At first that was cute, but nearly 10 years later I wanted to rip my hair out. Then it was one grandmother every morning, the other every evening. She had no hobbies or interests, she said spending time with her family was her hobby.

Fluffy_Afternoon652 · 2025-09-16T20:10:29+00:00

I'm convinced that every women will try to figure out what comments will hurt you the most and say those things when they want to hurt you. My ex told me she used her head and not her heart. Told me she had chemistry with other men but never me. Told me I'm worse than my father. And on and on. I'd like to say the comments didn't affect me but they did.

Tell2ko · 2025-09-16T19:30:14+00:00

Why are you even still Communicating my man?

CRobinsFly · 2025-09-16T16:30:30+00:00

Men are in love and women are in business. -Coach Greg Adams

OctinoxateAndZinc · 2025-09-16T14:17:59+00:00

My soon to be ex-wife just texted me that I was always second to her parents. I told her so that puts our kids 3rd in line then?

Very important bit of advice here: Do not communicate about anything other than your kids AND, if you can, move it all to email.

Phones get lost and people will say texts are fake. Text battles NEVER end well. The next text you get, unless its short term about picking up a kid, reply via email (Ie. RE: Text 09/16 School Band) and remember that not everything needs a response.

Her sending you emotional bs is at best tone deaf and at worst manipulative and trying to bait you into something. If you MUST reply, just hit her back with a 👍

It took me about a year of not replying, sending a response in email, or using 👍 to get my now ex to stop texting/calling me and I only ever get things in email and its business only. We're no longer married and if she wants some emotional teddy bear she can go find that somewhere else.

ConejoSucio · 2025-09-16T12:18:34+00:00

When her parents are gone, she'll expect your kids to put her first.

Boglehead101 · 2025-09-16T09:11:31+00:00

Common enough I think for husbands to come in after kids, parents, siblings. Fuck them.

I’m my case it’s our kids first.

StandardButPoor500 · 2025-09-16T08:59:14+00:00

Maybe don't consider her words seriously.

All she means by whatever she writes is "I want to hurt you". She can address you personal qualities, your choices, your looks and your sexual performance, none of it has any meaning beyond "I want to hurt you". She is not your therapist, right? She is your problem, and she is becoming your past problem.

Any work you are planning to do on analysing your mistakes will have to wait, and it doesn't need her contribution.

jaceq777 · 2025-09-16T08:42:09+00:00

I think my ex wife married me based on some fantasy she had. What fantasy it was? I have no fucking idea (maybe some Instagram cutesy fancy 'relationship goals' type photos), I don't think she has either, but once reality kicked in and she had to put some effort into the relationship and maybe fix something that wasn't working, she checked out. So yeah, some women marry out of strange reasons that maybe they even don't fully understand themselves.

No-Specialist4150 · 2025-09-16T06:25:50+00:00

My ex told me during separation that she married me becoz i was a safe option 😅. Women r incredible beings but most have no insight or accountability.

Learned a expensive but valuable lesson in life. U will get over it, give it time

Title	Just realized
Author	Strict-Currency9359
Upvotes	43
Comments	22
Date	September 16, 2025 6:13 AM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ni9qgx/just_realized/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/just-realized.1562085 https://theredarchive.com/post/1562085

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