After 30 years of being together, my wife sent me a text "its over". I honestly thought it was some type of a joke. I thought things were good, we fought yes, had amazing sex and l never put her down or made fun of her always in her corner so to speak. We had 3 wonderful children, no debt travelled and owned a successful business. We struggled in the beginning as most people do. I did have a bad temper she would've called it explosive, l would use the anger to push past problems l had at work and gave me incredible strength but it was never directed at her or the kids. I would go out and release the outburst on inanimate objects, but thinking back now she may have felt that it was.

When we seperated l dived head first into therapy 2-3 times a week trying to"fix" the problem. She blamed me for everything she said l was constantly lying and gaslighting her (at the time l had no idea what that even meant) she called me a narcissist and was so mad at me. I bought books read everything l could about narcissisam and empathy.

We had problems and we fought but we also had fun with each other, but when we did fight it was exhausting. She would always bring up everything that l had ever done wrong, l couldn't compete with the past.

As l tried desperately to figure out the problem, l begged her to come to one of my therapy sessions to which she finally agreed but stating "there is nothing wrong with me its you". She blamed me for everything and said she was afraid of me and that l was controlling and felt trapped because l wouldn't fix her car. But at the time we had 3 vehicles and could always take one. I was so very depressed and felt worthless. Afterwards the therapist spoke to me and said there really seems to be something hidden by her. At this point l had gotten very low, l had formulated a plan and almost went through with it when one of my children texted me and l thought this is how they will remember me, so l paused.

And then l found out the truth, she had reconnected and started an affair with someone she had once gone to kindergarten with on Facebook. My girls dug into her profile and discovered they had started this relationship months prior he was a total oppositeof me drug user degenerate that couldn'thold a joband a womanizer. I was so devastated and they were disgusted. It all made more sense now said my therapist, all the lying gaslighting and anger was being projected onto me because of her behavior. I couldn't believe it, here was the woman l truly loved and had dedicated my life to and would've given mine to which l nearly had.

Of course l must have done things to have driven her away but l never deserved what she had done.

It's been 3 years now and l still go to therapy, l know how to channel my anger and l understand how to communicate. I also have met and now married a beautiful younger woman who shares the same values and goals as mine and we communicate incredibly well with each other. The new love of my life.

All l can say is that when l thought it couldn't get worse it did but don't give up. Therapy can do wonders with the right one, good friends and family are a must. Work on yourself and be grateful for the journey, you never know what can happen tomorrow. We have one life why not share it with someone who truly loves you and has the same goals in life as you, and never forget to talk to them as your best friend.