Paralyzed physically, what to do?

NothingIsEverEnough · 2023-05-14T19:13:22+00:00

We “just do”….sometimes the bare minimum. I’ve been in litigation for four years and it’s exhausting.

There are two things that helps me

Let myself fall apart. Sometimes shit doesn’t get done and that’s ok
I detach. This shit is out of my control. Fuck it, I’m not going to care today and I’m going to do something fun

Diablo_Canyon2 · 2023-05-14T19:53:55+00:00

I am in hell right now too. A gym membership, a therapist, and a mens group at church have literally saved my life. You don't have to do the same thing I did, but that's what has helped me.

Throwawaysi1234 · 2023-05-14T19:27:57+00:00

Start the process of self care from low energy cost to high energy. Something like going through the below in order.

get some sleep
call a friend and talk
eat some food (even if it's order in)
go for a walk
exercise at the gym

arcasul · 2023-05-14T21:01:43+00:00

My solution is walking. At least 1 hour per day, listening to something like audio books or whatever you like. Helped me a lot since I am not motivated to work out, as you.

SelectionNo3078 · 2023-05-14T22:02:37+00:00

Same.

Job is in the tank along w divorce on the way

I waste most of each day doom scrolling until late afternoon when I go to the gym

Watch some tv Go to bed

Repeat

Reasonable_Wheel_864 · 2023-05-14T20:19:12+00:00

123 method- count 1 2 3

Jump up and just do it

Or set a 10 min timer and then just do it

wisstinks4 · 2023-05-14T21:43:37+00:00

I take my big list of things I need to get done and I start to break them down into smaller pieces or I can tackle one small thing that leads to another thing that leads to another thing and pretty soon I have a little bit of momentum and then I can get a medium size thing done leading to maybe a big thing getting done. That’s what helps me. I hope you can find some new gumption and pick up the pace and move forward.

Adventurous_Tie_4464 · 2023-05-14T22:59:14+00:00

Biggest things for me 8 hours of sleep, no drinking, therapist, journaling, exercise and pick up the phone and call someone. I started with no support network but built one using online groups and reconnecting with old friends and family.

Depression is a slippery slope and I have been to the depths. Early in this process I read a book about Admiral James Stockdale and his experience after being captured and held captive in the Hanoi Hilton a prison camp in Vietnam. They survived in horrific isolating conditions by maintaining a routine of discipline and self care even if that meant sweeping the dirt floor of their cells.

jimnew2012 · 2023-05-14T20:09:51+00:00

Plan something for your kids for next time you get to see them. Try to stay involved any way you can. Learn more about their school and how to stay in contact and be updated.

Countsbeans1976 · 2023-05-15T00:19:13+00:00

You have depression. Act accordingly

ashintray · 2023-05-15T03:50:51+00:00

Take a trip. Go stay in a different city, state or even a country.

Crotchlobsterz · 2023-05-15T13:41:33+00:00

I’m sure I’m not the first to say this, but it’s going to take time. Put together a routine you can stick to everyday. You don’t need to plan it all out, but within a couple of weeks you’ll be on the road to building good habits. Routine does a few helpful things. It gives you back some of the precious mental energy you need to see clearly as you aren’t spending it deliberating about what to do each morning with your upcoming day. It also allows you to kick the spongy pink thing in your our head when it starts acting up (“You haven’t done anything today, loser.”) You’ll be able to easily calm yourself when you remember that you did do something that day, even if it’s as simple as making coffee or doing ten pushups. Try your best to set bedtime and waking time consistently, everyday of the week. Sleep can be very difficult at first and if you don’t get enough, it has a compounding effect that makes it harder to do anything. Try to avoid taking sleeping pills if you can, but if you’re not able to get into bed and fall asleep, then jumpstarting the process with a few days of pills can be helpful, just don’t make it long term (be honest with yourself if you’re prone to abuse them, there are other non habit forming alternatives). Good luck and it does get better, keep as positive as possible and eventually it does get easier. We’ve all been through it and it sucks tremendously at first. Our character and strength are built in our most difficult times, not our easy ones.

animalx3 · 2023-05-15T13:49:07+00:00

Just me but all the things being offered by others are tactical and worked for them. Which isn’t my point but is things that worked for them but not the why perhaps. What did you do before you were a “we” that “you” enjoyed and ask yourself why? I used to work out heavy but trashed my shoulder and can’t do that any longer so I switched to daily yoga and mindfulness. But that’s me…to get my brain wired though for this I read the book the power of habit and added yoga before coffee in the morning with coffee as my reward. It helped me find a hook to grab onto and make it a habit else I’d never have started and maintained it daily. As far as my mental “F it“ attitude I read and live ways of a superior man. I know I’m a reader and maybe you’re not so try them on audio book. Also give rebuilding a whirl by fisher. It’s a book about recreating “you” before you were a “we” basically. So these guys giving you advice have given tools that work for them but not the how they picked it. Only you can pick it and hopefully my advice on a few books gives you a how.

Title	Paralyzed physically, what to do?
Author	frankb33
Upvotes	19
Comments	32
Date	May 14, 2023 7:04 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/13hkeah/paralyzed_physically_what_to_do/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/paralyzed-physically-what-to-do.1219274 https://theredarchive.com/post/1219274

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