Question (Home Equity)

Slowloris81 · 2024-08-11T01:59:55+00:00

I’m planning to get a mortgage loan to buy her out. This is the home the kids grew up in. I want it for their stability and it maintains their eligibility for the school.

SomeVeryTiredGuy · 2024-08-08T12:00:56+00:00

I'm trying to figure out how to keep the house we both bought and have lived in for 10 years. If we sell at the price I think we can get, we'd split about $160k (then subtract taxes.) if I bought her out what I owe her, it's take the other half of my retirement, which is...about $150k. I think the house could gain more equity over the next 6 years (when the kid possibly leaves for school), but it's a gamble. Also, assuming the house payments, due to a recent HELOC, would make me house poor for a while.

karavan7 · 2024-08-08T03:27:00+00:00

Keeping the house in a divorce is often a mistake. When you sell, you're not responsible for the property and you are free to make choices that are appropriate for your new situation. Ask yourself, would you buy the house on short terms for the full price? Or would you buy something else?

Competitive-Soup9739 · 2024-08-08T02:47:10+00:00

Call your mortgage lender and ask them if they’ll do an assumption - allow you to assume the loan.

If they agree, you’ll need your wife’s consent and will have to pay a fee, usually 2-5% of the outstanding balance. But you’ll get to keep your interest rate.

I’m in your exact situation and that’s what I’m doing. My rate is 2.5% so the fee is totally worth it and pays for itself within a year.

mikeoxlong123 · 2024-08-07T22:09:01+00:00

I would, and did, keep the house. Not only for a stable familiar place for my kids but also because I knew eventually the value would rise further and that would help me later in life.

My kids also get on the bus here, even on days which aren't officially mine, so I see them more than if I would have had to move out of the school district even if it is only an extra 15-30 minutes a day, that time adds up.

mr21vp · 2024-08-07T18:26:36+00:00

I look at a primary residence more of a lifestyle decision rather than a financial one.

Would you purchase this house today if you were a single dad?

How much longer do you plan on staying in the house? If at least 7-10 years more then the numbers will make more sense.

Kids just need stability from the parents and will adapt to whatever you decide to do - keep this house, buy another house, or rent a house.

Plastic_Canary_6637 · 2024-08-07T17:51:40+00:00

This is a math problem and you haven’t given us the relevant numbers. Can you buy her out with assets? Do you need to refinance vs taking a 2nd mortgage? What rate can you get? Can you swing the payments? What’s your cash flow going to look like post divorce? Before you can even consider the emotional aspects of the house you need address the financial parts

KillerUndies · 2024-08-07T17:30:10+00:00

Find out if you're able to get her off the mortgage without a refinance. Some mortgages qualify for it.

Movieman_Steve · 2024-08-07T17:18:02+00:00

I'm going thru the same thing but with no kids. I'm still living in the house that she left 2+ mos ago, and I want the realtor, I've been talking to, to talk to my stbx but my stbx says that she's got a meeting with a friend/realtor to sell it. Prelim divorce papers say "both must agree on realtor". Plus I've got 20+ years of memories in that place, I feel like it'd be haunting. So make sure if you do sell it, that your stbx is onboard with the realtor who's been chosen or you might be fighting about realtor during the divorce process. So look to getting a new place that you can make new memories with your kids.

jimsmythee · 2024-08-07T16:20:14+00:00

My situation was different in that our "marital home" was a new build that I put a contract on when we were just dating, and then closed by me only 3 weeks after we got married. So she signed a deed disclaimer that it is my separate and sole property.

11 years later I'm divorcing her. It's the house our 2 kids grew up in, plus I had a killer refinance rate on it of 2.85%. She demanded half of the equity. I said, "Separate and sole property." But since marital funds were used to pay on the mortgage, I offered to return to her 50% of the reduction in the mortgage. Judge agreed with me.

After she left, I redesigned the house a bit. I put up the kids artwork. The kids hung up band posters and redid everything. I pulled my favorite artwork out of the garage and hung it up -- replicas of ancient Egyptian papyrus. re-arranged furniture in the living room. Got remarried and upgraded furniture. Re-arranged things to her liking. House is totally unrecognizable now.

And I kept the 2.85% interest rate. Best thing I ever did for myself and the kids was to keep the house.

HereinPA1 · 2024-08-07T15:59:30+00:00

Are both your names on the mortgage? If you can swing it and your bank allows it, you can also assume the loan to keep your rate.

I’m in that process now, had to do some financial acrobatics to pay her equity, but my kids appreciate they’re staying in the home they grew up in.

edr5619 · 2024-08-07T15:47:35+00:00

Keeping the house for the children's stability might give you an advantage with custody if she is trying for majority custody.

TheWormTurns22 · 2024-08-07T15:47:32+00:00

i would sell it, its just going to remind kids of what they once had, how they once lived. Rip off the bandaid and start over

Title	Question (Home Equity)
Author	Illustrious-Tear-749
Upvotes	5
Comments	25
Date	August 7, 2024 3:33 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1emewsq/question_home_equity/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/question-home-equity.1526605 https://theredarchive.com/post/1526605

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