We are in the divorce process after 17 years and 2 kids. I posted here about it a few weeks back. Last night, I was on the family ipad which syncs to my wife's account and curiosity got the better of me. This is not the first time I have peeked at her texts, maybe the 4th time and felt a bit guilty about it each time. I have thought for at least the last 8-10 months that something was not right. I never saw anything out of the ordinary until last night. She got a message from the woman who rented her a place to stay while we were separated and in counseling.

Landlord: "... Also, what is happening with the old boyfriend? I need a new installment (sunglasses smiley face emoji)"

STBX: "Oh yea! Good things (3 beaming face with smiling eyes emojis) I need to come over again! I am so twitterpated it's hard to put into text words. ..."

I am devastated. Not proof of physical infidelity, but emotional affairs are just as hard to take. If it is an ex-boyfriend, then he is in another state as far as I know, which she has visited twice in the last 8 months for family events. If the word old means good ol' in the familiarity sense, then he could be in the local area. Could not get to sleep last night until very late. Cannot stop thinking about it this morning. Luckily I am out of state for the next week or so by myself, so I don't have to see her. I know it does not matter much as far as the legal aspect of the divorce since we are in a no fault and community property state, but I think what hurts the most is it appears to have been happening at the very least while we were in counseling, maybe longer.

I am not sure how to move forward. Do I talk to her about it? If so, do I think I will get the truth? If she appears to tell the truth, do I even believe that? Do I leave the emotional stuff aside and carry on with the divorce? Do I ask for more in our mediated divorce and use this info as leverage? Do I immediately hire an attorney, which she will have to pay for since I am the home parent and she makes the money?

I think I just need to vent right now, but if any of you have any experience here, advice with my questions would be great. Empathy and kind words of encouragement also accepted/needed.