45m, married 20 years, separated since December, found the affair in January.

I see a lot of men here say there's no way she'd cheat. There's no way. I thought the same thing and would've been completely unaware if my wife didn't understand how her iPhone was tied to her iMac.

My wife would tell me she was going to the store. She absolutely did and then would meet dude in parking lots. She'd meet him during her lunch at random boat launch places (works near a river).

She'd tell me she was going to her friends house but it was really to dudes house.

We'd be watching a movie with our kids in our house and she'd be texting dudes.

So what I'm saying is, don't rule out infidelity. Do some snooping. There's amazing tech you can buy online that is cheap and will confirm your suspicions.

I say this because if you get proof, it only helps you going forward. First, for closure. Second, for court.

I'm retired military and instead of her getting 50% of my retirement, she's only getting 32%. She's not getting 50% of the house, only 40% and that goes down each year as I continue to make payments.

I was able to prove that $10k of her credit card debt was related to her affair so I was off the hook for that.

These woman will lie to your face. You have to assume infidelity, especially if they come at you out of the blue. They are all capable.