Im pretty sure I already know what kind of response ill get here but I wanted to post anyway. My stbxw reached out today to ask what my thoughts are on me going to inpatient care for my mental health struggles/adjusting to this wretched life. She also asked if I was able to see a psychiatrist which I'm on a waitlist for due to high demand.

We decided to go thru mediation rather than lawyers and court, etc. because neither of us have very much money in order to do so. She says she worries about the kids safety when they're with me which in turn could affect her nursing license. Full disclosure I have called the emergency help line twice in the last two months since the split and I may or may not have mentioned in one of our couples counseling sessions that maybe a return to inpatient was on the table (I dont remember saying this but i wouldn't be surprised if I did, it's hard to remember things lately). But let me make this perfectly clear. I NEVER called that number OR mentioned going to the looney bin in front of my kids who are just 5 and 4.

She already had the kids 70-30 per our own agreement, pretty much due to my unwillingness to fight and just wanting things to go smooth. Now she's saying she doesn't want them staying over night with me anymore because last Sunday when I dropped them off I broke down crying and everytime I drop them off after a stay with me they seem disregulated. I argued that maybe their disregulated is because this is a massive change for them that they don't understand. She argued instead that my history of mental illness leads her to believe otherwise.

Basically it boils down to this. Would seeking additional treatment for my condition be a good idea even if that means going into inpatient care over my Christmas break OR would that just make me look worse in mediation and in front of a judge to the point where I would lose even more time with my kids?