Someone Lie To Me

dudefromyork · 2024-09-24T22:42:34+00:00

Ok. Some awesome advice here already! Just to help you calm down, here’s what my solicitor told me.

So he could write to me, in a very official legal sounding document, saying that I had to buy him a Ferrari. And that things would go badly for me if I didn’t buy him a Ferrari within 7 days.

That doesn’t mean I have to buy him a Ferrari.

The only person who can make me buy him a Ferrari is a judge. And a judge will see through all the bullshit in his letter and decide an outcome based on the provable facts.

You got to stop worrying and start writing down your evidence to prove facts! No judge is going to give your wife everything, unless you seriously fuck up. Just get good legal advice and don’t get bullied. Or try to get her back “playing nice”.

Content-Class1259 · 2024-09-23T03:34:52+00:00

Isn’t that what you have an ex wife for, someone to lie to you!

Sea_Emu_4259 · 2024-09-22T12:42:53+00:00

Woman needs to understand that divorce is shortcut to poverty. She wonr be able to have yeh same lifestyle and house while given you at least 30% and u need to rent another place. She is delusional and reality check is coming soon anyway. By full bcystody u mean u don't see them at all? Impossible bless she accused you of violence and pedophilia which could be a risk if she wants full custody during divorce it is very classic move called parent alienation

6-demon-bag808 · 2024-09-21T18:51:47+00:00

I'm almost into the ninth month of almost the same situation. All that's improved is a new dog. My stbxw violated the court order on custody for 3 straight months. I don't have court again for another three months, so I've moved out of state. I still love her and miss my kids terribly, but if nothing changes in November, I'm done. Eventually, you may have to just commit to starting all over and throwing away your life's work.

Plastic_Efficiency35 · 2024-09-21T14:53:31+00:00

You know what’s funny? Everyman that was pounded with divorce - talks about fighting for their family. How devastated they are FOR their family. Men care about FAMILY. Women only about how “unhappy they are”. Men about “WE”. Women about “I”. And they dropped “he is a narcissist “. Because we care about family? Family values? Children? I wish I have better and nicer words to say for you, brother. We are….well, most of us are in this convulsing BS. You are the DAD & You will always be the father…..children were never asked what they want. None were born and to be told, that family can mean 2 separate mom and dad. I want you to hold on to faith- to you. To your kids. As bad as it may seem, it might get worse. Women are willing today to “beat the s$$” out of you. Yes, getting worse day by day. Things may seem rough right now. It is. Ain’t gonna sugar coat the pain, the frustration, the anger, the disbelief, the betrayal etc. all those feelings are normal—DO NOT LET ANYTHING NE TELL YOU DIFFERENTLY. A man that lost his family is the worse pain that can be inflicted on him. Get someone to setup a gofundme page for you. Raise some $$ to fight this BS. It’s time for us men to fight fire with fire. Hang in there,bro. We are here for each other. We got each other’s back

This_Train340i · 2024-09-21T12:41:22+00:00

Cash out your 401k "for the house" and stick her with half the taxes on it, otherwise she'll get half of it tax free.

probebeta · 2024-09-21T05:02:07+00:00

Of course she wants the house, your mom to help out and 100% custody. I don't know your situation but 50/50 is the minimum you should allow. It's the hill you die on. Same thing with finances, just because she wants things doesn't mean you have to give it to her. Push back, get a lawyer and try to work out a deal that will work for you. Giving away so much money hurt like hell, but after a bunch of bargaining I worked out a deal that I'm happy to do just to move on with my life. Papers signed 2 days ago.

yes2matt · 2024-09-21T01:28:22+00:00

Shit, man. Dial back the freak-out.

Firstly let's clear this up. The day she dropped the d-word is the day your fucks-to-give about what "she wants" goes to Zero. Because you are separating. It doesn't matter if she likes you, is mad, disappointed, happy, etc. It's her problem to solve now not yours. You do not benefit from pleasing her. In fact nobody benefits from your pleasing her. In fact she will never be pleased, that's why we're here.

Now. What do YOU want? Where do you want your kids to go to school? Would you like to see them for overnights? How often? What is your preferred arrangement? When they spend the night with you is it going to be in a travel trailer? A homeless shelter? An apartment? A house? A yacht? Where do you yourself want to live? Do you want the same job, the same commute, to keep your now house? What do you want?

Then get to figuring out how to get what you want. Pay for a consultation with a good divorce attorney to learn the divorce process, bring your financial information and if you have legal history that might matter. Keeping in view what you want, make a plan to get there. Do not consider what you think she wants. She's on her own now, and it's not (gonna be) your circus. You look out for you. And the kids as they relate to you.

As for the kids, you cannot have a healthy relationship with any person ever if yiu are angling to be their favorite. They need you to be their father. You will always be their father, but you will bring confusion if you go trying to be their other mother, or their friend, or their bankroll, or their fun uncle. You're the dad and you need to stand up into that. If they prefer mom (mine do) that's fine, you already won the dad contest because you're their dad. Tracking?

pikohina · 2024-09-21T01:19:58+00:00

I read some of your history OP. Sounds like a tough year. Life will get better, your very young still and time left is one of the most envied commodities on this board.

Time to face the hard truth: your wife is done. You can not change her mind and trying to do so will make things worse. We’ve all had to turn our minds around to accepting what she wants. Give it to her gracefully.

Put your big boy pants on, no drinking, no arguing, no laziness. Hit the gym regularly (one of the best healing processes ), watch/listen to ‘divorce for men’ yt and podcasts. Read fun books. Consult several lawyers and choose the one who’s a bulldog and has your best interest in mind. Begin these steps asap. This is your train to a better life, even if you don’t want to board it yet, it will take you to where you need to be.

MR-Ozmidnight · 2024-09-21T01:00:51+00:00

Look, trust me, in around a year or so, you will start to come out of this glum place, your STBX. Put yourself in, and if you're open-hearted, you can find someone special who will fill your life with love, so hang in. There is the long game you're playing; you will get there as you're not the first or the last that will play this insidious game the cheaters like to play.

abort_retry_flail · 2024-09-21T00:42:46+00:00

It will be alright. If you need somebody to talk to that's in the same spot, hit me up.

itsallright_now · 2024-09-20T23:42:29+00:00

We’ve all been there. Biggest thing I’ve had to remember: what someone wants and what they get are two very different things. She has made you feel like she has all the power, but it is absolutely not the case. It feels terrible now and it will still feel bad in the morning. But it will not only FEEL better, but it will get better.

What the others have said is true: get legal counsel. Don’t let it happen to you, be proactive. And work on yourself.

The thing from your plea that hits hardest for me is about your parents being furious. I thought the same, and I was (still am some) ashamed of myself. My parents have been lifesavers, and they’ve supported me in ways I would never have expected. People will surprise you, most often when you’re vulnerable. I hope they act differently than you expect.

Keep your head up. You can make it through. You will make it through.

Reflog1791 · 2024-09-20T23:27:50+00:00

It’s going to be ok buddy hang in there. I couldn’t see it at first, but it turned out to be a good thing in the long run. I dare say I fuckin love being a divorced dad. Half the time I’m dad of the year and the other half I golf. It’s fuckin sick. You’ll solve the money problems and very well may improve the relationship with your kids.

familymanlikesfamily · 2024-09-20T23:25:11+00:00

Everyone here knows what you're thinking and feeling.

It won't be easy but things will improve over time.

You don't have to be the loser in this. Prove to yourself, your kids and parents your self worth.

Fight to be the man you want to be. Flip the narrative. So what if you're going to be wifeless. You've been this longer than you may accept.

You can make money and not be broke. You can still be the father your kids admire.

Your world is not over. This is a new beginning.

With that being said, work on yourself immediately NOW. Prepare for the next 5 moves. Seek legal counsel.

Ask your brothers in this community important questions to get ready for what is going to happen next. Your kids will always be your kids. Your parents will still see them. You don't have to give her more than whatever the laws will favour.

Title	Someone Lie To Me
Author	Crazy-Resolution5489
Upvotes	18
Comments	19
Date	September 20, 2024 11:03 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1flp3mr/someone_lie_to_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/someone-lie-to-me.1530824 https://theredarchive.com/post/1530824

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