The Numbers Don’t Lie

Construction00023 · 2026-08-18T20:01:41+00:00

It wasn't a waste because at the time you created a memory and happy celebration for people who mattered to you and many who still do. But for sure on what your saying looking back at guests. I had a realization how many people had passed away or the plus one is not the person they're in a committed relationship with today. My wedding was only 12 years ago.

OctinoxateAndZinc · 2026-08-18T18:05:25+00:00

My reception was great, I had a ton of fun, and people talked about it for years (of our friend group it was considered the best of all the wedding receptions). There was value in it to me and my now ex. It's only a waste if you tell yourself it is.

Obviously my marriage ended but it was a good party, at the time.

EDIT: it was what I would consider a REASONABLE amount - 200 people and it was about 15-17k. The people who spent six figures on stuff? They are nuts.

vanbino · 2026-08-18T16:31:26+00:00

It is hard to be with some one for a long period of time. People get bored of each other

Ok-Cause1108 · 2026-08-18T15:30:03+00:00

Father of the bride pays for the wedding. It is his gift to you for taking his daughter off his hands. If you paid anything for the wedding you did it all wrong.

Life is constantly changing as you grow as a person. If you are surrounded by the same people as you were 10 years ago you are doing it all wrong.

Techdude_Advanced · 2026-08-18T15:02:26+00:00

I always advice men to have 3-4 close male friends. One or two could be family members but maintain and pour into those friendships. It pays off in the long run. They will still be your friends if the sky falls and never take them for granted even if you get into a new relationship.

Reflog1791 · 2026-08-18T11:56:03+00:00

The wedding itself was a lovely affair. Beautiful setting, family from around the country. FiL footed the bill maybe $5k.

I paid about $500k for that mistake.

ChippyChalmers · 2026-08-18T09:08:13+00:00

Yeah true. How long since separation? I'm like 9.5 months out and feel like I'm backsliding a bit. Miss my family unit. This empty house half the week is tough. How did you move through those feelings?

upvotersfortruth · 2026-08-18T03:32:14+00:00

regardless of the success of the marriage, all weddings are a waste of money - kind of the point

Rportilla · 2026-08-18T02:56:57+00:00

heard a saying “men account for the cost afterwards not before”.

TheSwedishEagle · 2026-08-18T02:52:36+00:00

All weddings are a waste of money.

tonyway7293 · 2026-08-18T01:37:35+00:00

Yup.

I reflect back on my wedding in some different ways as well. Lots of clues and red flags I ignored.

Got married during covid. Wedding venue we chose shutdown. I suggested we have something small, put that money towards something we can invest in.

Nope.

She insisted we do an extravagant backyard wedding. We (Now I) have a big backyard. It was around $30k or so all said and done.

One of my Groomsman’s mom had a terminal illness. He was genuinely apologetic but he did not want to attend, even though it was outdoors and option to wear a mask. He didn’t want to risk his mom’s health. I understood 100%… didn’t have to tell me twice brother. Her? “He is such a coward, how could he not just stand there with you for your moment…..”. She always held a grudge against him and his now wife for that. Disgusting. And… my ex wife is a healthcare worker…. Zero empathy (something I saw towards the end against me). His mom sadly passed away in 2021.

She had not one friend in her wedding party. Her Maid of Honor was her sister. Her 2 Bridesmaids were my two sisters whom she never tried to really connect with and didn’t even get along with. At the time, I didn’t care. Now… looking back on it, you are near 30 years old and you don’t have one single friend to honor the moment and stand with you? Nah… of course not. She was always a victim, never got along with anyone whether it be “friends”, co-workers, family, patients at her job, my family and then of course eventually me. A trail of destruction left behind her all throughout life.

I enjoyed the day, but I look back at how rigid and uncooperative she was with the circumstances of the pandemic and how much of a waste that amount of money was (especially now that the marriage is over).

Moms_Sketti88 · 2026-08-18T01:29:46+00:00

It’s pretty wild dude. Sad as well. I had a small wedding and we sort of eloped, so luckily didn’t spend a whole lot on the wedding. In fact, I bet it was under $200 total. I was broke back then (hehe am now too with divorce tax of alimony), and I think the wedding ring was only $900. Cheap wedding, but expensive divorce if you look at the difference spent. I think I alone spent around $20k on legal fees. She spent about 3x as much just by dragging it out.

I miss her family, as they were nice to me and still are. I hear from them much less though. I really miss the holidays with them. I took for granted having good in laws and that additional support system, but I wasn’t married to them.

Oddly on my end all my friends are still married and so are my sibilings. I’m the lonesome black sheep guy that’s divorced amongst my peers. But as you said, I’m much happier now. Little sad on some days, but so far happier overall.

Motor-Hat-3061 · 2026-08-18T01:20:00+00:00

Yeah, the way people treat others is fkng horrifying. It's like the closer you think you are to someone, the more disposable they treat you.

Everything is an illusion. Trust, love and faith are fairy tales.

koskesh122 · 2026-08-18T01:19:57+00:00

Things they don't teach in school (on purpose)

Title	The Numbers Don’t Lie
Author	That1TimeN99
Upvotes	76
Comments	33
Date	August 18, 2026 1:07 AM UTC (2 days ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1vraq8k/the_numbers_dont_lie/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/the-numbers-dont-lie.1633361 https://theredarchive.com/post/1633361

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