Wife’s financial bombshell

derelictherds · 2022-07-07T23:38:10+00:00

Check your credit report if you're not already on top of that... and check hers too, if possible. My ex was hemorrhaging money shortly before the divorce and turns out she was spending more than only cash. She'd taken out a couple of credit cards in her name (using my income) and racked up about $30k on them. I had no idea. I got stuck with all marital debt as a reward for being a loving, breadwinning husband to a stay at home "princess"... $50k in total not counting auto loans & mortgage.

James1933-75 · 2022-07-07T22:41:54+00:00

My stbxw spends all the money she has on her boyfriend. Hardly spends anything on the children. Only bought one box of diapers. Really is unbelievable, that they will fight for custody, but don't spend a dime on their own children.

BreakfastOk2255 · 2022-07-08T03:14:33+00:00

My STBXW transferred money to her daughter every 2 days for 4 years, and never contributed financially. Some people are just using POS.

zelbot87 · 2022-07-08T13:53:08+00:00

I had a similar experience. I made the money and she was the one who went into the accounts to pay the bills. I found out after the divorce that I had 21,000 dollars in credit card debt in my name (they were old credit cards that I had no knowledge of her using and were not joint accounts). I questioned it in court and was shot down because it was "marital debt" even though many of the charges were for wineries and hotels in other parts of the state as well as other questionable charges. The credit card company didn't see it as fraud because she changed the address on all accounts to her new address so they claimed we still lived together (even though I offered to submit the lease on my new apartment and the documents for the sale of our house to prove that we no longer lived together).

After the divorce and getting a ton of money in CS, she was able to rent a giant condo, get a brand new SUV, brand new IPhone and brand new Mac. Meanwhile, I work overtime just to make ends meet even though I have a good career.

Soggy_Nose_7173 · 2022-07-07T22:21:14+00:00

Go deep to see where the actual money is going. Certain items that women buy have high resale value like designer clothes, purses and shoes. Certain purses I know can actually increase in value with time if it becomes desirable. Any item she bought that has value could be considered community asset.

Gattsama · 2022-07-08T11:01:59+00:00

Most people actually trust their wife. So in the absence of cause we are not keeping check on everything that they do. IF they open a new credit card, paperless billing, my name isn't on it. There's no reason for a sane husband in a 'good marriage ' to be running checks to discover that. We also each had a VISA in our own name for gifts / surprises to each other.

In my case our state issues a temporary financial restraining order at the time of filing. It's mostly to stop the wage earning spouse from hiding money, selling / transferring assets, taking out new debt or claiming he can't pay support. However in my case:

we have a joint personal line of credit. Zero balance when I filed now maxed and overdrawn at over $20k
maxed out and over drawn joint VISA, +$9.5k
some how she ran up over $30k in legal fees, and her lawyers withdrew from the case at the start of June 🤷‍♂️ (she got a new attorney)
took out a $7500 cashiers check from joint checking account she claims for her attorney (I say claims because I can see a separate $7500 charge from her attorney, so unless she gave them a $15,000 retainer I smell BS).

The cashiers check is likely lost money, and the visa is questionable (50/50?); however the attorney fees and line of credit are both 100% new debt on her. So she's already over $50k in new debt, and I filed Feb 1st???

I'm paying out a ton in temporary support. But that is going to end someday. We have to sell the home, and I'm giving / offering an unequal distribution in lieu of alimony. So she's going to walk away with over $600k cash (plus all assets [except my small 403b] and possessions). And yet, I somehow think she will be dead ass broke in less than 5 years 💔

I actually don't want this. Despite all her BS and crazy, I just want a fair and equal division of assets/ debts, sell the home and be done with it. I then actually wish her the best. But she appears to be way to fucking stupidfor that to happen. Has refused to discuss selling the house so we missed the top of the market. Likely costs each of us tens of thousands of dollars 🤷‍♂️ Will see what happens at mediation in Sept (don't hope for much) and court date is Jan 3rd...

pegleg_legal · 2022-07-08T08:17:53+00:00

This is common in divorce - let me guess - no temporaries in place?

Significant-Bother-1 · 2022-07-08T11:18:09+00:00

I've got about 30k in debt that's accumulated over the years when my wife wasn't working, and after she started working and wasn't helping pay any bills. She doesn't want to pay for any of it as part of the divorce.

Tiger_27 · 2022-07-08T16:08:06+00:00

Make sure her spending habits are documented. If there is a way to get primary custody then go for it.

Title	Wife’s financial bombshell
Author	Ethrowaway88
Upvotes	32
Comments	34
Date	July 7, 2022 10:12 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/vtui15/wifes_financial_bombshell/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/wifes-financial-bombshell.1122659 https://theredarchive.com/post/1122659

Comments