Will I not have enough to live?

DivorcingSamThrowawa · 2025-12-12T16:44:23+00:00

This is how it starts. You start out by wanting nothing more than to be able to provide for your basic needs and maintain a relationship with your child. Very honorable.

Then a year goes by. Then 2. You meet someone new. Your friends and family start seeing you as person separate from your former wife in every way.

Then you realize that the concessions you made in your moment of weakness years ago will do permanent damage to your ability to live the life you want both for yourself, your child, your new partner and potentially (and this is where it gets really tough) a FUTURE family. It happens man. Let me tell you.

All the advice you'll ever need is right here on Divorce_Men. (Including the advice to get an attorney). Don't roll over now. It's the most critical time.

throwaway_coy4wttf79 · 2025-12-12T01:37:10+00:00

There's no assets to split. It'll depend on the incomes. If it's similar, with a 50/50 split nobody might have to pay anything. If you make much more, they'll take it all unless you get a lawyer to argue successfully to impute her salary.

Expect to lose all your money. They'll take whatever they can get. I lost about 800k, all told.

NilesGuy · 2025-12-11T23:24:07+00:00

OP an option is to get an agreed upon material settlement agreement without having to hire attorneys or battling it out. You could also cohabitate together post divorce for the meantime, raise your child together and be roommates. Until both of you are financially situated. In this way , you could circumvent maintenance and cs.

Comfortable-Angle660 · 2025-12-11T22:33:18+00:00

Look, her income needs to be imputed to the maximum her education can afford her, and the highest average over the last three years, whichever is higher.

PghSubie · 2025-12-11T22:01:06+00:00

Does your state have an online calculator for CS and/or alimony? Throw yourself fully into the therapy

Expert-Raccoon6097 · 2025-12-11T21:50:58+00:00

It'll be tight those first few years. You will likely have to work multiple jobs. Without a wife and 50/50 you will have plenty of time to grind tho.

jimsmythee · 2025-12-11T21:35:54+00:00

When I got divorced, my exwife tried to play the “too sick to work.” She wanted 50% of my take home pay in alimony. CS for 2 kids based on her having full custody. For me to pay for her to get a commercial health insurance plan.

Totaled out it was literally more than I made. Her reply? “He can get a second job!”

Fortunately the judge didn’t buy it. I got 50/50 custody so my CS obligation was minimal. And then the judge gave her $0 alimony and told her it was time to get a job.

Sock_Eating_Golden · 2025-12-11T21:30:54+00:00

My ex actively attempted to take 90% of my take home pay.

Fortunately your attorney is there to advocate for you. You will survive. But changes may need made.

Support shouldn't include your OT if you can prove it's not likely to happen. It should take into account she didn't work and could've. Again. This is where your attorney comes in.

Grafixx01 · 2025-12-11T20:10:20+00:00

Dude, if you made double what she did, you’re hosed. My friend from PA had two kids, twins, got divorced. They were in a town outside Pittsburgh. He ended up paying $3,600/month for the two kids and she got primary custody. He got every other weekend. If he got another job to help offset the $1,400 he had left After taxes were taken out to live on, he had to give her MORE money.

Bagman220 · 2025-12-11T19:33:13+00:00

What state? Use the alimony calculator and use the child support calculator to determine how much you might have to pay.

Yes it’s very possible you won’t make enough to pay your own bills, on the days you don’t have kids you might need to work a second job.

It will be tough, but don’t stay in a relationship too long just because it’s financially necessary. But I do understand trying to stay for the kid. Hopefully you can work out 50/50 with your ex, and you can file for divorce without lawyers. There is usually just forms at the court office you can pick up.

Odd-Yoghurt1869 · 2025-12-11T19:28:34+00:00

Do you make more than her?

Title	Will I not have enough to live?
Author	Ramablue
Upvotes	14
Comments	30
Date	December 11, 2025 7:27 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1pk6irk/will_i_not_have_enough_to_live/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/will-i-not-have-enough-to-live.1568581 https://theredarchive.com/post/1568581

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