Anybody else find guys who call themselves "feminist's," cringe?

fathergoose77 · 2023-01-09T22:53:56+00:00

I identify as a feminist because that aligns with a my socio-political ideologies and the views I support.

If someone agrees with republican policies and therefore identifies as a republican, it’s not really weird or attention seeking to call yourself a republican. It just describes what their political ideology is.

I don’t go around bringing it up randomly in conversations and saying it out of context. But if asked. I have no issue acknowledging I’m a feminist. My partner sees my feminist ideology as positive because it shows compatibility in some big life outlooks and views.

There’s nothing “cringe” about identifying as something that you are. But if you are bringing something like that up for clout and to impress women, then I agree that is very cringey because feminism isn’t a tool to help people get laid, it is an important social-political movement in which women had to fight for rights that they did not have.

DaftWarror181 · 2023-01-10T01:55:31+00:00

Context is everything. Like so many things, it depends on the circumstances. If I get the sense that they are saying it for clout or attention and aren't being sincere, it's cringe. If such a statement honestly and accurately reflects someone's values though and was made in an appropriate context, then it's not cringe. Is the act of sharing a political opinion, in and of itself, cringe?

I just feel bad whenever I see dudes who spend a lot of their free time trying to fit into that space, the truth is women could care less about what you're saying and doing, they already have enough support as is.

I agree that it is kind of pathetic when anyone spends too much time trying to gain acceptance and validation from others. However, if they are in these spaces because they want to gain perspective, then that's pretty reasonable. The other thing is that women often do (and should) care about what men are saying and doing. What we think influences how we act in most situations, which includes how we treat others and what candidates we vote for.

If a double-digit percentage of the electorate (including female voters) decides to jump on the anti-feminist bandwagon, that can effect them. If close men in their lives get into TRP and start treating them poorly, it effects them. If their teenage sons become influenced by people like Andrew Tate and start repeating his talking points at the kitchen table, that will effect them.

thefarstrider · 2023-01-09T22:56:05+00:00

What utter bullshit.

I don’t care if women care or not. I believe in feminism because it’s right.

Advocating for women’s rights is feminism. If you want to invent your own vocabulary, fine, but bitching about other guys using a word correctly is dumb.

Whatever you say about other men trying to fit into “that space”, whatever the fuck that even means, is total assumption. Thinking you know why someone is doing something is usually projection; you probably think they’re doing it to get laid because it’s the only reason you could imagine doing it yourself.

Of course no one “needs” labels. But this bullshit idea of “I’m for everyone’s rights” is like the “all lives matter” response to BLM. You’re using language in a way that obfuscates the very real and very specific oppression that one group of people faces. And it upholds the false idea that everyone’s problems are equally bad.

Grow up.

I_eat_sand_everyday · 2023-01-09T22:19:56+00:00

Maybe they don’t do it for pussy points maybe they just genuinely believe in the cause?

2023-01-09T22:02:00+00:00

the truth is women could care less about what you're saying and doing, they already have enough support as is.

We absolutely do care about what they're saying and no, many laws still unnecessarily stifle women. The whole point is to get these things changed. Many still aren't changed, so no, we don't have enough support. If we did, we would have the same rights (even if the trad ones don't use them).

women will always view you as a man, regardless if you call yourself a feminist or not.

If a man is a man isn't the argument. It's if that man is good, recognizes the human in his lover, treats others well but isn't afraid to stand his ground, has a strong inner moral compass, instills order in his relationships, etc. A man who calls himself a feminist is a personal choice, like saying "Christian".

It doesn't really affect you similarly to who others sleep with also doesn't affect you. Let them use it and state their beliefs with a label. It's the same for supporting men's rights. I personally just prefer to label myself similarly to yourself and joke by saying 'I'm mostly an equal opportunity lover'.

men don't need a label as this should already be a common baseline, like how "Nice," should be expected, rather than the nickname of "Nice guys".

That's how it should work in a perfect world. The entire incels turning violent thing was a perfect example of that. People died over the 'pills'. Some men became so enraged that they couldn't get dates and sex that they were willing to lie, manipulate, and steal sex from a woman too. Think about that.

Xx_SwordWords_xX · 2023-01-09T23:43:58+00:00

You're fucking wrong. Women (me) absolutely need the support of men in the fight for equality, the same way BLM needs the support of white people, to stand with them in the fight for equality. Marganilised people (which women are), only have so much power under the oppressors, and that oppression is only lessoned when those with the upper-hand, join our fight.

lilchapo97 · 2023-01-10T03:29:15+00:00

Nah, there's feminists, and there's "feminists." You're complaining about dudes that call themselves "feminists" to get laid. Most dudes that are actual feminists do it because it aligns with their ideology and values. I guess it's that hard for you to believe that guys actually care about women's rights lol

Like the fact that there are politicians actively trying to ban access to contraception is fuckin ludicrous. What sane guy trying to date around wants to have to worry about lack of contraception? That's dangerous AF for women, especially considering there's crazy men out there that'll try to get a woman pregnant to trap her. Add that to the fact that Roe v Wade just got overturned.

Maybe the guy grew to with a single mother and saw first hand how much harder it is for a woman to make it in her own with kids than a man.

Idk man, hope this at least gets you thinking a little bit

Trepptopus · 2023-01-10T06:15:31+00:00

Wow. So. Interestingly enough, the only time I claim to be a feminist is when dealing with men who are MRA or antifeminist or have some weird misogynistic BS or pro patriarchy ideology.

Like, in feminist spaces I operate as an ally and mostly only speak up when some guy is refusing to listen to people because they don't have a penis. Otherwise I'm mostly looking to listen and learn.

But in my personal efforts to help battle misogyny in men? Yeah I will absolutely identify as a feminist if it comes up. I don't go out of my way but if I'm trying to help a guy get out of redpill or blackpill thought patterns and he's like "the fucking feminists are evil" I'll absolutely push back with "I, a person who is taking time out of their day to try and help you, identify as a feminist. Feminists don't hate men, some feminists are men"

Honestly, looking at OPs post history, they seem pretty redpilled still. Maybe even edging on blackpill based on their obsession with lookism and looksmaxxing.

thrifteddivacup · 2023-01-10T12:23:55+00:00

Hmm as a woman I used to think calling myself a feminist was cringe because I didn't want to associate with the crazy ones. Then I learned I had to stand up for my beliefs, and a lot of them are feminist ones. I think context matters. I once knew a white knight guy who talked about respecting women like crazy, then one day he messaged me knowing I had a partner, to let me know thinking about me gave him a hard-on.

It's the actions that matter, not the words. My partner doesn't identify as a feminist but he is one, and he be giving that respecc to all who deserve.

You're right that it should be the assumed default, but some people are genuine and not just trying to pull a "nice guy" move. I think a lot of feminists love GENUINE feminist men, I wouldn't say I just view them as men, I absolutely view them as allies, and I think feminism is more about human rights. Just like MRA's we can't all do this shit alone, we should always strive to work together. I do think the labels shouldn't be that important, but it is how we find groups to connect and work together with.

absolutebeginners · 2023-01-09T22:23:38+00:00

No. I'm a feminist. I don't care if women care or not. What does that even mean? Are all your values contingent on someone else caring about them?

keiy_solo · 2023-01-10T13:48:38+00:00

What is your understanding of feminism? Based on what you've shared, you seem to think there is a separation of sexes in the movement where there is none. Feminism is for men too. It is not a 'women only' club or movement.

I invite you to research more on what feminism really stands for. You may find out you're a feminist too.

ChristinasTits · 2023-01-10T08:42:47+00:00

I’m a woman and I absolutely do care about men’s views. The only men I let in to my inner social circle are all either feminist or egalitarian. I don’t want anything to do with men who don’t support me or my views, but I make every effort to include those who do. Men are absolutely welcome in feminist spaces, because feminism isn’t exclusive. Having an inclusive and diversified space greatly enhances the discourse.

Stargazer1919 · 2023-01-10T21:29:32+00:00

I think it's super cringe when a guy complains something like "how come no women want to date me? I'm a feminist!"

Like, feminism is not a dating strategy. Why are social movements for women focusing on equal rights and less violence towards women, while men's social movements (like redpill) are largely about dating?

If you have to be told that whoever you want to date is a human being just like you, and they deserve some basic respect, you shouldn't be dating. (General "you", not you in particular.)

Kamyuwu · 2023-01-11T04:09:02+00:00

I'm not a guy and also don't identify as a feminist - but it's because of opinions like yours that i don't.

People look at the word "feminism" and go "AHA! It mentions femininity, so it must be exclusively for women then! Guess i don't need to bother as i, a manly man, do not care for women's issues!" But that's not what feminism is about

Yes, it's focused on pointing out how women aren't treated the same way men are - therefore the goal is gender equality. If you try to get people to treat both genders the same way though, it's pretty much impossible to only help one of them. Since getting women on the same level as men will still not make them truly equal until men are also treated the same way women are in other areas in return.

What I'm saying is, you going "don't bother trying to fit into feminism spaces, that's cringe and women don't care about you" and then following it up with "men should focus on themselves [and their own issues]" is just a blatant contradiction.

If you see an inequality you face as a man and want to change it for yourself and other men, true feminism will support you and is your goal as well as your opinion - whether you want to use the label or not. Feminism was never about getting free pussy in exchange for woke points, get that out of your head.

As a side note: policing how men "should" and "shouldn't" be, say, believe in or identify as and thinking men as a hive mind are incapable of having opinions of their own not linked to a desire to fuck is one of those points you shouldn't be promoting if you actually want to help men get better.

"Toxic masculinity", one of those fun terms I'm sure you like as well, is trying to describe this type of issue. It's having this very rigid image of what a man should be and everything outside of that will be shamed and shunned after failure to conform. And it's why so many issues of men exist.

Something that often gets brought up are high suicide death rates, lack of intimacy etc but if you think about why those things happen: it's because men have been told over and over and over again that they need to be a very specific type of man to get appreciation or go die in a hole. This is something feminism is trying to solve - they're trying to help you

But instead you go "toxic masculinity? Aha! There's masculine in the name - they must hate all men! I see how it is and can now proceed to make fun of them!"

Maybe follow your own advice and focus on yourself and how you want to view the world before you judge other people for their choice of politics

Arcaribus · 2023-01-09T21:42:57+00:00

Any man that called himself a feminist so far in my life, felt like doing that will give him some bonus points.

Literally their first step was already a giant mistake.

So yeah. Feels very attention seeker-ish. Nothing anybody should be proud of doing. Definitely not enough to bring it up without even being asked.

debatelord_1 · 2023-01-10T10:17:30+00:00

I'm always very suspicious of people who advocate for politics that are supposed to benefit other groups.

Humans are selfish, so what benefit are you drawing from your public advocacy for others? Often there are hidden motives

HaymakerGirl2025 · 2023-01-09T22:47:16+00:00

Yes.

Ifhes · 2023-01-10T06:42:13+00:00

Cis-men cannot be feminists because feminism is by women to women. Besides that. Haven't you thought that some men spend time supporting women because they think it's the right thing to do? A lot of red pills and ex red pills seem to forget that normal people do things because they think that is correct and not because they want to be noticed by women or get something in exchange.

DetermineAssurance · 2023-01-09T23:30:25+00:00

I agree with you.

It's fine to agree with feminism but outsourcing your male effort to actively support feminists and their movement is wrong. Women already have all the support from other women so, as a male, you should focus your effort on helping yourself, other men and primarily work towards fixing issues that affect men as a group - not women.

fathergoose77 · 2023-01-10T05:48:50+00:00

I (m) just hate how guys/men treat girls/women, and how girls/women let guys/men treat them. Like sex toys who desire to be used for sex. Thats terrible, and even absurd considering they are free to talk about them that way and to do them what they want, while there are guys/men who are not allowed to even talk to girls/women cuz...reasons.

Title	Anybody else find guys who call themselves "feminist's," cringe?
Author	Pomeranian111
Upvotes	0
Comments	72
Date	January 9, 2023 9:26 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/107qk55/anybody_else_find_guys_who_call_themselves/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/anybody-else-find-guys-who-call-themselves.1146319 https://theredarchive.com/post/1146319

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