Does your dating options really decrease past your 30s male or female?

Available-Ad-9338 · 2022-03-01T19:59:53+00:00

Numerically, yes, because most people are settled down in their 30s. If you're open to dating divorcees/single parents, you have plenty of dating options in your 30s/40s and beyond.

Mh882130 · 2022-03-02T00:31:29+00:00

For short term hookups no and they may increase.

For long term yes and they should especially if you healed any attachment issues you have.

So though your pool gets smaller it actually gets better, unless you continue to be “a hot mess” and not heal from whatever negative experiences you had in childhood.

lordkuruku · 2022-03-01T19:23:36+00:00

I just turned forty. I'm dating a twice-divorced 42-year-old. It's far and away the best relationship of my life. It really feels like everything I've done, all the prior relationships and mistakes we've both made, it's all led to this. We met at the right time. Any time before, and we would never have worked.

Prior to this relationship, and even at the start of it, I was dating plenty. My thirties were absolutely the best decade of my life, and I definitely had the most partners.

suhurley · 2022-03-02T02:00:58+00:00

At college it was SO EASY to meet people, but my radar was no good. “Oh, wanna hang out? Yay! I like you too!” FFWD to my 40s, my radar’s so finely tuned to things that just won’t work for me (cleanliness, fashion choices, little tells in conversation) that when I click with someone, it’s more like sharp-shooting. While in my 20s, was like buckshot.

AntiVictimhood · 2022-03-01T20:46:02+00:00

Options decrease with age because more people are single in their younger years. And even though the average age of marriage is late twenties/early 30s, that still means that if you're single into your 30s/40s and onward- there are fewer options due to the fact that many people are already pair bonded. And even if 50% of those marriages were to end in divorce, that dating pool is still smaller than if you were 21.

So there is definitely some truth to that claim. But this notion that people hit a certain age and then just suddenly lose their appeal is demonstrably false. I'm willing to accept that on average, men and women likely hit their physical pique between 18-30- a lot of the men I know have receding hairlines and fine lines by 25. The women in my life are more diligent about anti-aging practices. But this is highly variant.

And while one could probably argue that people on average become less objectively attractive with age, I find there are other points that increase appeal. I can say that my husband has become much more mature, emotionally stable, self assured, disciplined, and respectable now than he was when I met him at 23. So yes, his hairline has receded a bit and he's put on some fat, but overall he's much more appealing to me at 30 than he was at 23 due to many factors.

And this argument that people (particularly women) "expire" past a certain age is so ridiculous because dating and marriage is about much more than just looking youthful and fertile. Obviously.

thetruthishere_ · 2022-03-02T00:30:24+00:00

It will decrease for anyone as we age as the pool is smaller.

no_user_ID_found · 2022-03-01T20:09:18+00:00

The contrast between the have and the have nots grows massively bigger when you hit the big 3-O.

You got guys that don’t want to settle and the ones no one wants to settle with, and hardly anything in between, the in-betweens are settled.

caramelkoala45 · 2022-03-02T03:17:20+00:00

It depends on where you live. In my city there's a lot of nice, single men and my friends dont have many issues as some people would lead you to believe. If you live out in a rural area or small town then it would be more difficult as most people would have settled or have children

Huge-Theme6774 · 2022-03-02T08:28:54+00:00

10-20 years ago this might be true because everyone got married in their 20s and more focused on family. With dating apps, there's endless options to settle down, and people have the choice to wait getting married until they find a high quality person. As a "leftover" woman in my 30s, I find it so much easier to date now because I'm more mature and clear about what qualities I have to offer and what I need in a partner, and it's easier to filter out who is serious and who is not.

2022-03-02T17:22:01+00:00

I (30F) would say it depends on what the end goal of your dating practice is. If your primary goal is to get married, combine finances with a partner, and have children, your options of finding a peer who shares those goals decrease after 30, but they don’t straight up evaporate. Traditional economic metrics of “adulthood” show that on average, young people today are about a decade behind previous generations. I.e. the average age of a millennial becoming a home owner is 29/30. That’s almost a decade later in life than the average age of a boomer becoming a home owner.

Randomguy34455 · 2022-03-01T23:13:12+00:00

I think it's not just about age. If you don't have friends and don't meet new people around the chances are zero at any age. Anyway past 30s many women are divorced or single moms, and many men have given up

heeeymrtangerineman · 2022-03-02T05:45:31+00:00

Guy almost 40: You become WAY more attractive to 20-30yro's, but you'll never meet any bc you have no friends and your social skills are from the last decade

Jeditard · 2022-03-01T23:14:11+00:00

It seems that everyone is settled down by this age. All the good ones are taken. At this point you must settle for what's available or resolve yourself to die alone.

Deidara-katsu · 2022-03-02T03:02:07+00:00

It increases for guys and that’s facts, can’t speak for the women

Inareskai · 2022-03-01T19:38:08+00:00

Contrary to what most of these RP spaces seem to suggest. Life continues much the same even when people pass the age of 30. Like, most people in their early 30s really aren't doing much different from when they were in their late 20s.

People still date, there are still options. It may be that some people have more history because they've just lived longer, but that's by no means necessarily a negative.

laguaguadecarne · 2022-03-02T15:51:14+00:00

NO!!!!

xvszero · 2022-03-02T17:11:58+00:00

I mean. Assuming that gay relationships don't mess the numbers up too much, mathematically speaking, there are usually going to be about as many single men and single women at any given age at any given time. And yeah a lot of people want to date young but I don't think enough actually do to change the numbers all that much.

Some will argue that the quality of choices decreases because a lot of the stable people who know how to have solid relationships get into and stay into relationships so they're off the market, but I'm not really sure about that one.

For me personally I did better in my 30s than my 20s, because I finally got my shit together.

meteorness123 · 2022-03-04T00:20:51+00:00

At 30-35 you will still have many options, especially as man as 30 is an age where many break ups happen and the average age difference between couples is 2-4 years with the man being older.

I thibk it becomes increasingly harder after 35 for both men and women

HaymakerGirl2025 · 2022-03-04T01:34:33+00:00

I thought so. But after being newly divorced and on the market after 32 years of marriage, I was stunned at the attention and options available to an “over the hill” woman. The RP propaganda isn’t even remotely true.

Ithrewallofitaway · 2022-03-04T10:43:53+00:00

Well, that's a good question. I really don't know. Redpill channels tell us that men's opportunities increases while women's decreases, and it is because men's desires of being someone young and beautiful is something pursued, and women want to always marry up, so the 22 year old will want to be with the 35 year old because he is more established, and 35 year old men pursue th 22 year olds because they are young and beautiful and can provide them children. If they are not purposely lying, then its because in their experience, dating is much easier when older. I am inclined somewhat to believe that, unless someone can offer counterpoints on why that isn't true.

Gaddammitkyle · 2022-03-07T06:04:14+00:00

Your hookup options plummet, but not your dating options.

Gaddammitkyle · 2022-03-07T07:33:45+00:00

Judging from all this dommy mommy/cougar/tall gf stuff I've been seeing online, I really doubt most guys would turn down a dominant older woman who was interested in them.

Same with MILFs. A single mom is technically a MILF. The only reason I ever got repulsed by these girls is because Richard Cooper, Rollo and Coach RP said so. Because I WaNteD tO bE aLpHa.

When I take my own tastes into consideration, and discard RP rules, I have no qualms about them at all. My best times were with girls older and more experienced with me.

Ok-Variety4153 · 2022-03-02T04:26:05+00:00

Not to sound as a misogynist but just my experience and my friend.

For women the best time to date is early 20's.

For men its early 30's.

So I think 10 yr age gap between men and women for peak dating experiences/ choices. Women over 30 or men under 25 really have limited choices tbh.

Human-Campaign-7229 · 2022-03-02T07:44:50+00:00

Yes, it gets harder for women. Women needed game to attract men and these days women think they know everything that why they fail at keeping a man interested in them outside of sex.

Naus1987 · 2022-03-02T05:15:48+00:00

For guys, it gets bigger.

Think about it. If you’re 25, you’ll likely date women who are 18-27. If you’re 35, then you date women 18-37. And every year old you just keep dating 18-x.

A lot of guys will say “I won’t date a 20 year old, they’re not mature enough!” And the counter to that is the 22 year old guy dating the 20 year old is still getting that low level of maturity. A guy who is 22 doesn’t really date the mature 30 year old women. So his options are limited to just the younger 18-25 women.

Where as an older guy can still choose to date the younger women. Even if he realistically shouldn’t.

A man in his 30s will simply have more options. Women are much more likely to date someone older than younger.

I have no idea if women get more potential to or not. Maybe! Maybe some older women date younger men.

——

Another thing that really really messes with statistics is that dating is different now. Some people date casually for hook-ups, and others date seriously for commitment. And a person will choose different dating pools if they’re dating with intention.

A guy just trying to get laid will easily consider all of those immature 20-somethings viable dating partners. Where as a commitment guy would probably avoid them.

And guys with lots of options will probably be more picky on the looks of it’s just for hookup. So it might rule out some older women if the younger ones are abundant. It’s like supply and demand mathy stuff.

But in practice. Anyone can make anything work. Statistics just account for majority. But not all the exceptions.

Like that fun divorce number. So if 50% of marriages end in divorce — that also means that 50% are successful!

Title	Does your dating options really decrease past your 30s male or female?
Author	spankyourkopita
Upvotes	29
Comments	42
Date	March 1, 2022 6:56 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/t4fbwk/does_your_dating_options_really_decrease_past/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/does-your-dating-options-really-decrease-past-your.1104636 https://theredarchive.com/post/1104636

Comments

NO!!!!