Is it really just a numbers game, after all?

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softnmushy · 2022-04-05T23:31:49+00:00

Yes, I agree with it for two reasons.

First, I don't think there is a magic "soul-mate" out there. There is a small percentage of people with whom we are compatible with for marriage or long term relationship (whatever your goal is). The more you put yourself out there, the more likely you are to succeed.

Second, by putting yourself out there, you will improve your social skills and dating skills. So, when you do find a compatible person, you will be more likely to connect and be successful in dating.

EthericAssassin · 2022-04-06T01:15:26+00:00

You're more likely to meet compatible people doing things you are interested in. Also, you may meet compatible people, but they are married or taken. So yes, it is a numbers game.

oneofamike · 2022-04-06T02:34:41+00:00

Yes. When you go to night clubs, bars, etc. your goal should be to make friends with anyone. Not just with women but guys too.

Quinc4623 · 2022-04-06T07:20:23+00:00

Ironically the more you move away from the belief that all women want the same thing the more you need to make dating a numbers game. If different women want different things in a man then you need to find a woman who wants what you have, and that means getting to know a lot of women. Really the fact that PUAs and Redpillers advocate the numbers game is proof that not all women want the same thing. If all women wanted the Alpha Male then the guys who are sufficiently Alpha who seduce the first woman they approach. In reality they need to approach multiple women because there are only a few women who like Alpha male types.

Unfortunately there are a lot of little ways that society teaches men that women only want the Alpha Male, RedPill merely formalizes that. Un-learning that is easier said than done. It can cause severe self esteem issues. So it can be hard to imagine a woman who could potentially love you for you. Admittedly it might still be a good idea to seek self improvement, but focus on the good qualities you have or have potential for, rather than comparing yourself to someone else's ideal.

kblkbl165 · 2022-04-06T10:41:00+00:00

Everything is a numbers game if you think about it in the sense that things have a higher chance of happening to you if you put yourself out there.

jejuned · 2022-04-06T15:51:10+00:00

i mean, it's a numbers game in the sense that the more people you meet, the more people you're going to know, and the more opportunities you're likely to have, for sure.

I'm relegated to making friends I guess.

i get why it would feel discouraging to feel 'relegated,' but tbh the opportunity to make connections more organically is kind of a gift. and i don't mean that in the sense of toxic positivity, just in the sense that i think it's a lot easier to be successful in person (or even just in online groups not dedicated to dating) than on apps for a lot of people. apps are difficult, and designed to discourage you so that you shell out for their premium services, so you're frankly better off not getting sucked into that scam imo

limache · 2022-04-06T09:06:18+00:00

No it’s not.

I realized it’s all about being comfortable in your own skin and knowing what you want.

When you’re desperate, women have this sixth sense that you’re needy and insecure. It’s like their radar.

When you are strong and secure in who you are and respect yourself, women just naturally come to you.

It’s the weirdest thing. Once I started to realize this, it’s become pretty easy to talk to women. But I just treat them as people and as friends first. I just think “oh wow this woman is such an interesting person I want to talk more.”

I once talked to another woman at a bar just to be friendly that I thought was cute because I was coming to meet a friend that was sitting near them.

She was with a friend and I actually wasn’t that interested in her.

Her friend ended up being more interested in me and flirting with me straight up. An hour later she came up to me and asked if she could kiss me.

I’m like “wtf??? That’s never happened to me before…EVER!”

And she wasn’t wasted. She was relatively sober.

thrwwayguy · 2022-04-06T13:53:45+00:00

It is but be picky when it comes to approaching at least romantically. I'll see if i can find the video if you want but Alexander Grace has one where he talks about the best way to meet quality women and it's through friend groups. Cold approaching and talking to women is a good way to improve your social skills but you're taking a gamble on if she's a good woman especially at bars. From experience i can tell you quality is much better than quantity when it comes to a romantic partner.

carritotaquito · 2022-04-06T23:17:26+00:00

It is a number's game... just not in 80/20 way.

The Pareto principle is wrong: the reason why it seems it is not wrong is a simple one. When there are only one or two women per every eight or nine men on dating apps... it will seem as if women only wanted the top men. In reality, there are only very few women.

These are ways in how dating IS a number's game, and how almost anyone can do something about it:

Where one lives. This one is the easiest of them all. A man who lives in China or India, won't score a date as easily as in most FSUB countries: likewise, the FSUB countries are massive taco fests filled with beautiful ladies. In fact, this has been happening for a while: intermarriages between Chinese men and/or Indian men and Slavic women had been happening in full force for a while for that very same reason. Their countries have surpluses of the opposite genders.

Chinese/Siberian intermarriages.

Indo-Ruso intermarriages.

Work and cultural location. This one is a bit more specific to those who do not wish to travel across national lines but works in a similar way. Let me use Texas, USA as an example since is where I live. Texas has about 30 million people and five major urban hubs (Houston, DFW, Austin, San Antonio, and El Paso). These hubs have their own cultures and distinctive industries. Austin has a massive tech sector that is overtaking California's Silicon Valley, thus having a higher male population (men = 52 vs women = 48). A single woman looking to wed should check out Austin, for example. OTOH, a man looking for the same may want to try San Antonio (men = 48 women = 52).

That is how dating is a number's game. Not because of the Pareto principle. But rather due to your location. And unlike in past times, you can now change your location.

unlivedbread · 2022-04-06T17:08:41+00:00

Absolutely

TackleOk3608 · 2022-04-07T04:30:37+00:00

Don’t you need to cold approach people to make friends?

Pomeranian111 · 2022-04-06T18:26:48+00:00

Its like sales. Its partially a numbers game because you have a high rejection rate and you need quantity. But being better at social skills and talking to women will increase your success rate.

Being physically attractive will definitely increase your success rate and you have a lot of power to make yourself more attractive. If you can't use the apps it means you invested the time to actually getting good at them.

Dating involves social circle, online dating, cold approach, being physically attractive, and communication skills. If you refuse to do some of them, then you need to accept that dating will be harder for you.

Title	Is it really just a numbers game, after all?
Author	Pomeranian111
Upvotes	18
Comments	49
Date	April 5, 2022 10:36 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/tx74p2/is_it_really_just_a_numbers_game_after_all/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/is-it-really-just-a-numbers-game-after-all.1111143 https://theredarchive.com/post/1111143

Comments

That is how dating is a number's game. Not because of the Pareto principle. But rather due to your location. And unlike in past times, you can now change your location.