Redpill is despair inducing

ChicoBrillo · 2024-09-02T13:09:53+00:00

It’s a self fullfilling prophecy at the end of the day. It’s funny that it’s cloaked in being strong and tough and manly but it kinda just boils down to being a coping mechanism for being hurt emotionally or a fear thereof

squirrelscrush · 2024-09-02T11:01:42+00:00

I've been through both the redpill and the blackpill and I disagree with it. Like atleast the redpill says that you can have a chance, but the blackpill is pure unspawning fuel and exists to only make you depressed.

But I'll agree that love is non-existent in the redpilled world. I think it's some sort of "hiding in a shell" after those men got hurt. Love requires vulnerability and trusting in someone else. Those men probably got hurt by someone they were vulnerable to and this online echochamber sucked them in. Or they didn't really experienced love. Because some parts of the redpill make sense if there was a world without love and feelings, because then it would all be a numbers game and more like wild animal nature.

2024-09-02T11:10:49+00:00

It is awful isn't it. Good thing it's all total bullshit and we can choose not to listen to any of it.

Neo_Turk_84 · 2024-09-02T12:53:06+00:00

While there is an element of truth to the information these idiots share on Youtube. The thing all of these guys have in common is they have zero practical experience of being in a fulfilling and mature relationship with a decent woman.

All you have to do is step outside and start conversations with a few dozen women to realize that it’s not as hopeless as they say it is. Women want you to talk to them provided you do it in a way that isn’t sleazy.

That in itself will make you stand out from all the losers who would rather moan and complain.

Exis007 · 2024-09-02T12:27:19+00:00

You might really like Contrapoints new video on Twilight. I feel like I talk about it a lot, but there's a point I'm making (and not about team Edward). Winn starts by talking about why women were so obsessed with this supernatural love story and all the criticism it received for being, you know, bad actually. She talks about how Fifty Shades of Grey, the BDSM fanfic written in the same universe, spun off and was also really popular. And she uses this all as a baseline text to do a deep dive into women's fantasy, power, control etc.

What comes to mind reading your post is a term she coins late in the video (let me warn you now, this thing is really long so pop your popcorn and dig in if this at all appeals to you). She talks about DHSM. Default Heterosexual Sadomasochism. If you take the dynamics inherent to erotic love, you get a lot of binaries. Lover/Beloved, Top/Bottom, Dominate/Submissive, Pursuing/Pursued, Masculine/Feminine, Subject/Object, etc. You can see the whole list here. DHSM, she argues, is a dominate idea in heterosexual relationship that men belong on one side of the list and women belong on the other. But in queer relationships, she notes, people can't rely on DSHM. Two men or two women can't just assume these two hard and fast roles, and it has to be negotiated at every turn, often flipping back and forth between the roles based on the day or the activity or the context. Heterosexual women and men are often raised in the default of DHSM, with a lot of our stories and our society reinforcing that this is the way to be. And yet, people hate it. Men hate it, and women hate it. In fact, the big chunk of the video is exploring how women's fantasies (she uses Twilight and 50 Shades) are about subverting and complicating that power dynamic. Why is slashy fanfic the most popular form of romantic media consumed by women? Well, because it completely obliterates DHSM.

Red pill, as you've observed, is making an argument that men need to lean hard into DHSM. This is your side of the table, these are your roles, you have to embrace them and perform them if you want women. But as you observe, that sucks. That's terrible, because then men never get to be the love object, the beloved, the posessed and surrendering partner. That sounds....fucking exhausting to me. And as a woman, saying to me "Here, these are your roles" makes me raise my eyebrows because I am definitely the pursuer, I am too controlling of a person to never be in charge, I have a really touch time with passive, etc. etc. The final point she argues, and I think this is the take-away that's important, is that these aren't roles that need to be codified to gender. They are important in relationships, they are the basis of desire, but like everyone else, they need to be flexible. They are interdependent, but people in loving, happy relationships trade then back and forth. In my very happy marriage, we take turns. I am often the leader and the big shoulders, I'm often the active and desirous partner, I'm often calling the shots and directing the action. I mean that romantically, I also mean that on the level of "We're going to the waterpark today and I'm going to be in charge of organizing this shit". My husband does the same thing. Sometimes he's the big shoulders. We've been together so long, it's rare that we're not at least peripherally aware of who, between us, is going to want to be the person in charge at any given moment depending on the task and the context.

I like a dominate leader. That's hot. I also like to be a dominate leader. That's hot too. I like being able to grab power and say, "I've got this, I'm handling it" and I like when my partner does the same and I can say "Cool, I'm going to go scroll my phone while you pack the car, come get me when you're ready to go". The redpill vision that it needs to be 100% the man or a woman will lose interest is a very conservative, outdated, highly gendered picture of a way no one (I know) really lives. And even if you live it temporarily, no one really happily sustains it. That would be miserable, as you said.

Anyway, that might be a logical counterpoint text for you to unpack some of this nonsense for yourself. I don't know anyone who actually makes that work full-time, and why would you want to? Even on the face of it, it sounds terrible.

creamerfam5 · 2024-09-02T15:13:23+00:00

They use the same strategy as cultish religions and abusive relationships. Convince you that you suck but they have the secret sauce to help you not suck as much. Keeps you willing to consume their content. Also really effective on people who already lean towards core beliefs that they suck in some way.

meleyys · 2024-09-02T15:38:10+00:00

That's part of what gets me about TRP. If the ideology were right about relationships, why would anyone want to have one anyway?

SilverTango · 2024-09-02T15:06:20+00:00

You know, I recently read a book that discussed how certain hunter-gatherer societies would kill anyone who tried to amass power and status and hoarding of resources. In one case, it was documented that each member of the community, male and female, would take a spear and drive it into the alleged alpha. This "community killing" was a warning to anyone who would have tried to be any sort of "alpha." It is really interesting to read about hunter-gatherer societies, and how egalitarian they were. Pastoral societies (agricultural ones) are the ones that left men in power, but the societies that predated that were more egalitarian because there was no sense of scarcity of resources. There really is no reason in 2024 for alphas to exist. Women are everywhere. All you have to do is find what interests the right woman. The possibilities are endless. When you study history, you begin to realize that a lot of the constructs we have are an accident of history and a result of scarcity or a scarcity mindset.

xvszero · 2024-09-02T16:12:51+00:00

You're letting a fantasy made up by sad men depress you. You definitely need to detox.

Nuclearwaifu · 2024-09-04T08:25:02+00:00

The problem all of these ppl don‘t understand is that human relationships are incredibly complex and difficult to handle and they do get more difficult the closer they are usually. These people wanna rationalize and simplify prior experiences so they can avoid pain but the reality is that if you want a relationship you have to be ok with the possibility of it being painful and it failing. Not to say ppl should accept mistreatment btw. Just that they need to understand that being close to people isn‘t a simple thing. Neither is it in our gender segregated society that alienates all genders pretty much from each other as well. The mistake ppl make is thinking they can put all peas into a pot and call them all the same. To figure out some code and rationalize why it doesn‘r work when it fails. But the fact is that if you don‘t open yourself up to that risk of failure you cannot find a relationship with another person. And that‘s just the human condition. There are no easy answers. It‘s just really complex and difficult.

romcheng · 2024-09-02T15:49:53+00:00

I was into his videos back in the days when he started out. He used to have a gf. He’s work was more mellowed back then until he broke up. And now he’s full on redpill. Goes to show how much “he knows”about relationships in general

PrettyPistol87 · 2024-09-02T16:06:53+00:00

Where do they pull that crap from - if my man doesn’t cry from something terrible happening to him, I’ll think he’s a damn psychopath.

PutsWomenOnPedestal · 2024-09-02T20:05:41+00:00

Men should put more effort into loving themselves and self care instead of worry about whether women will love them or not. Be true to your values regardless of how your partner responds to it. If you value showing affection, then show affection without worrying how your partner will react. You can only control your choices, not other people

Schmutzcityusa · 2024-09-02T21:30:03+00:00

I’m convinced Casey Zander has some serious psychological problems

Prestigious-Jump6172 · 2024-09-02T16:23:26+00:00

This all seems completely insane to me, but then there's always a swarm of guys under these kinds of videos agreeing and saying a woman stopped respecting them or left them when they became invested

Imagine this was true and all those peeps aren't just jumping at a cheap opportunity to shift the blame, imagine that one poor fool loved a woman who could never reciprocate his love because the moment he expressed it she'd lose interest.

Would you like to be with a woman like that? Some creep that'll only respect you for as long as you "show dominance"? That's got to be real tiresome and unfulfilling

Personal_Dirt3089 · 2024-09-02T19:57:29+00:00

That is intentional. Redpill creates a problem and then claims to be the cure so the people come back to it.

werijewfjwefwefwefwe · 2024-09-03T00:45:43+00:00

I just fxxking hate myself for listened to those stup1d advices from RP, it fxxked up my view of the world.

805_blondie · 2024-09-03T05:07:36+00:00

I’m a middle aged woman and I have to say, “stop getting dating advice from idiots on the internet”. Please for the love of whoever you hold as holy, don’t listen to these strangers. They don’t know anything about you, your situation, or women for that matter. Healthy women want an honest relationship with accountability and honesty. Anybody worth your time wants accountability and honesty.

The best relationships are the ones where there’s mutual respect, honesty, and accountability. Anyone who tries to twist that in order to sell you on something, is a shister, snake oil salesman, someone who’s not worthy of your time. These people are trying to sell you a product and they don’t care if you find happiness or fulfillment from a relationship as long as you’re buying their bs to fund their wants and desires. They don’t care about you, they care about their bottom line..

Use your gut and your logic and don’t engage with stupidity.

Beginning-Yak-5387 · 2024-09-02T19:31:29+00:00

I swear that this is male subconscious sexual competition. It’s like they’re deliberately giving you tactics to disqualify you in the mind of a woman. Very suspicious if you ask me!

Carloverguy20 · 2024-09-02T21:11:43+00:00

Happy people don't watch redpill videos lol.

Majority of the people who watch redpill are upset with their lives and misreable.

Polish_Girlz · 2024-09-02T23:24:27+00:00

Oh my goodness, I remember getting Casey Zander last year. I'm so glad men are looking at this stuff critically. Movements like the redpill and even some nationalist movements used to be kind of niche; but they've just become mainstream and I feel like hate itself has become increasingly mainstreamed.

Expert_Artist_5825 · 2024-09-03T00:13:09+00:00

This is an interesting subject. I happened to get involved with a guy who described himself as a total alpha. I’m a free spirited artist who leans left. He’s a hard line conservative. Also, I want to add that I am very feminine and petite as I’m now aware it’s a red pill thing.

Initially, we got along great. I decided shortly after we met to sleep with him to get over my ex boyfriend and I told him that was my intent. The sex wasn’t great and when he stopped to rehydrate, I got dressed. He was shocked when he returned. After that, he continued to date me for months off and one but would never have sex with me again even tho I knew he was a Player. Even though he told me he really liked me, he started playing games soon after. Lying, ghosting, cancelling plans. I didn’t pursue him ….that’s not my thing. I didn’t submit to him ever.

We ended up long distance and when I’d visit, he’d be possessive and jealous but made it clear his guy friends were his everything and he didn’t want a relationship…just female energy lol. Still no sex.

I barely talk to him these days but he has never told me why he would not have sex with me again though I was clearly interested. He really hurt me with the confusion, games and mixed messages and I will never date a red pill guy again now I know what one is.

Leather_Law7246 · 2024-09-03T05:24:40+00:00

So I'm pretty redpill aware - I've gone through the books and watched plenty YouTube videos on the subject.

This dude is just leaning into attachment theory in my opinion, the women that his tools work against his polar opposite. His concept of redpill works within the man being avoidantly attached, and the lady being anxiously attached.

There's a big difference from 99% of the shit on YouTube about the redpill, and some of the original books. The whole movement has been corrupted in many ways and it's a shame that this asshat is a reflection of it.

If your going to go down the redpill route, you've still gotta hold onto you, and use your own understanding to incorporate what seems right or wrong..

Best thing I ever did for my own relationship prospects and overall wellbeing was completely getting off YouTube and instead reading alot more.. not just redpill stuff, but many different concepts that make someone a better person.

You could have the best game, but if it's a false identity and under it all your a wreck of a person full of anxieties and depression.. it just ain't going to end in a happily ever after. You've gotta do the work on yourself to grow, and simply use certain concepts of the redpill to compliment that growth.

Title	Redpill is despair inducing
Author	Fobias89
Upvotes	55
Comments	38
Date	September 2, 2024 10:15 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1f738kh/redpill_is_despair_inducing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/redpill-is-despair-inducing.1529138 https://theredarchive.com/post/1529138

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