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[–]IrritatedMangoFDS Newbie172 points173 points174 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Yes!! My ex best friend once told me her boyfriend degraded her in front of his mates but she didn't care because it was "their humour".
Like real men don't find degrading women funny hun x
[–]BalkankaFDS Disciple[S] 65 points66 points67 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
That’s so immature and appalling.
[–]IrritatedMangoFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yep it is. This was in the early stages in the relationship too and she kept saying how great they were together despite all that even when I said it was a red flag. They're still together now.
[–]ms_monquisFDS Disciple623 points624 points625 points 6 years ago (32 children) | Copy Link
Holy shit.
I had a boyfriend whose friends all hated me. I didn’t know why, but I assumed it was because most of them didn’t have girlfriends, and they were in bands so were probably jealous of anyone else taking any of his time.
A couple years after we broke up, I wound up dating someone in the same circle. My new beau’s brother was one of the most outspoken in his dislike for me. But to his credit (?) once I started seeing his brother, he said to me, “I know we’ve had our friction in the past, but if you’re okay with big bro, you’re okay with me.”
“That’s cool and all, but why did you have a problem with me to begin with?”
“Well because the way you always told Johnny he could never do anything.”
Wuuuuut
Turns out, for more than a year, my boyfriend was using me as an excuse to get out of anything he didn’t want to do. He didn’t have the balls to even tell his bros “hey I’d rather hang with my girl tonight.” Instead, weakass that he was, he told them, “Aww guys I’d go with you, but my girl won’t let me.”
Let me be clear, these were situations I never even KNEW about (never mind that is absolutely not my style).
Which raises another question: how in the hell does a grown man think “my girlfriend won’t let me” is a more acceptable thing to say than “my girlfriend is awesome and I’m going to go spend time with her”?!
[–]BalkankaFDS Disciple[S] 294 points295 points296 points 6 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link
Lmao I just replied to someone else about this faulted logic of theirs. They don’t want to come off as “pussy whipped“ yet they will use their girlfriends as a scapegoat or trash them to their friends so they don’t come off as simps? Lmao. They do it to themselves man. I love that you got the last laugh!
[–]ms_monquisFDS Disciple112 points113 points114 points 6 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link
It’s so weird! Seriously! It’s gotta be that Mommy thing.
[–]BalkankaFDS Disciple[S] 163 points164 points165 points 6 years ago* (17 children) | Copy Link
It’s another thing I never understood societally about the way marriage or relationships are viewed. Like if you are so pained by the “ball and chain“ then why the fuck did you even get married or enter a relationship? No one forced you to. I can’t stand men who roll their eyes and act like acknowledging their partner is just the biggest chore in the world. Truthfully, that’s why I am part of the group in the sub that really doesn’t even want to marry. I never want to be that person someone dreads coming home to. No matter how perfect you are to someone, especially a man, he will always find a way to take all of that for granted.
[–]ms_monquisFDS Disciple90 points91 points92 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Truth! When I was engaged, and people would “jokingly” say “don’t do it!” I was always like “no, I LIKE my boyfriend, that’s a you problem.” We even told the minister who was marrying us (Vegas, never met the officiant before) that there was to be no har-har “who’s the boss” kind of crap, after seeing it in so many other weddings. In the WEDDING!! So gross.
[–]BalkankaFDS Disciple[S] 51 points52 points53 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I totally hate it too. Good on you for saying something.
[–]123heatherfeatherFDS Newbie63 points64 points65 points 6 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Exactly, that is why I have no desire to get married either. If you thin about it, almost all American sitcoms in the last 20-30 years have portrayed marriage as a prison sentence for men and that all women are cruel prison guards whose only purpose in life is to control and demean men. Of course it's no surprise that the writers of these shows were all men who hoped to perpetuate this myth.
[–]BalkankaFDS Disciple[S] 42 points43 points44 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I bring this up to people who badger me about getting married and they roll their eyes. I know deep down they wish they were single like me bc they’re always having some kind of marital issues while I sleep peacefully not having to deal w someone’s bullshit every day. I don’t see marriage as something that would benefit me unless he had a lifestyle to offer me that is better than I’m doing for myself, which many don’t. It’s a societal joke yet somehow single women are spinsters while men are bachelors. FOH.
[–]bootybootybootymeowFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is a great way to look at it! "Does he offer a better lifestyle than I can offer myself" and you are SO right most definitely do not.
[–]FatPam007FDS Newbie33 points34 points35 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Of course dude If you wanna still fuck every girl you see in the marriage and no take any responsibility and whatsoever of course you're gonna see marriage as jail!!! They want to fuck with every other woman they see, they talk about how women behind their wives back, they watch porn, and they still want their wives to take care of their children and be good moms and cook for them And also being porn actresses and still they wanna cheat on them with some top model looking girl when they have 0 physical condition and have a beer belly. The other day I saw a monologue of Netflix of this guy that comes out torso naked with a beer belly, and he talks he was watching porn like this kind of blowjob that made the girl cry, and his wife cought him and he told her: that's how champions do it!!! I was so surprised nobody said anything of how fucking sexist and toxic that monologue was. Of course "it's comedy". No it's not, he's a fuckin disgusting narcissistic prick
[–]ScandikandiFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yea I watched that too. His attitude on pretty much everything was disgusting.
[–]ms_monquisFDS Disciple1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
What comedian was this?
[–]FatPam007FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Bert Kreischer. Here's the link if you wanna watch...
https://youtu.be/X8Ug3-_S174
[–]ms_monquisFDS Disciple1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well. THAT was repellant, thanks.
[–]Wiggy_BopFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don’t forget “and spend all their money” 😒
[–]FatPam007FDS Newbie30 points31 points32 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yes! And even in movies guys are always so cool and badass and they talk about the wives like if they were their mamas and they were like: ohhh my wife doesn't let me do this bla bla
Wtf dude you're a fuckin adult. And they portrait wives like dictators or something, in every movie.
[–]BalkankaFDS Disciple[S] 26 points27 points28 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They’re blind to the fact that they tried to replace their moms with their wives. Yet they respect their wives less ofc.
[+][deleted] 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]BalkankaFDS Disciple[S] 15 points16 points17 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I love that sub! Also you’re correct! That’s why I worry for some of the women here whose end goal is marriage... I just don’t want them to be let down like most women are in the end.
[–]BovvsetteFDS Disciple8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I know, that's so messed up!
Males in nature: instinctively understand the importance of females and would even die trying to impress or protect them.
Human males: loving women makes me less of a man.
Logic just left the chat. These bitter boys try to shame any guy, who's even barely nice to women, for being a pussy-whipped simp, while that's actually a very natural male instinct to value a lady. You see a lot of guys trying to convince themselves that they're the prize that don't need women, yet they can't let go discussing and obsessing about them anyway, except this time in a toxic way. And it's supposed to be a more healthy and positive alternative? No wonder why so many of these male-centric communities go absolutely batshit insane, murdering themselves and others. They lose meaning of life and basic respect and positivity towards humanity as a whole. Because humanity and life without women can't exist. I mean, everyone who ever existed was brought into this life by one.
[–]Reachingout365FDS Newbie78 points79 points80 points 6 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
This is so sad and disappointing... we give them the benefit of the doubt cause they act "nice" to us only to find out they talk shit behind our backs... I have post delayed rage now lol.
[–]ms_monquisFDS Disciple60 points61 points62 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
It fucked with my head. I thought I was cool with everyone — what was it about me that was so repellant to these people I barely knew? I tried to be friendly, open, etc... Of course now I know it wasn’t me at all. But that shit leaves a mark. (Obviously, since I remember it all too clearly, so many years later.)
[–]Reachingout365FDS Newbie48 points49 points50 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
When I found out this guy talked behind my back I didn't want to accept it cause it didn't make sense.... he acted so caring towards my feelings and shit and so I trusted and idealized him so much (very, very insecure girl not use to basic human decency, and he always knew when I was upset and would rush over.) the things didn't work out cause of my trauma and he started talking shit, in the meantime, I didn't judge his imperfections cause I understood. Asshole. Now I'm mad years later and I haven't thought of them in years lol.
Yea I can imagine.. I think being dehumanized is a very undermined trauma in women. That had to have been devestating to find out. It's hard to understand that not everyone has the same good and kind heart as you do. I don't understand why men have to act like such tools. They get more praise for being POS's and so they rather roll with that I guess. Imagine being a grown ass adult and being more concerned that others might judge you for liking your GF, then just... being honest and authentic 🤦🏼♀️ I don't need a ton of friends, just a few good ones. Men need all the men to like them to feel good about themselves. They reserve their respect for other men.
[–]ms_monquisFDS Disciple39 points40 points41 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Same! It made no sense because he was adoring and sweet to me. I never would have guessed what he was telling people. I guess the most important thing to him was never to look to his bros as though he was the one making any decisions. Imagine THAT being your goal.
Years later, I ran into him at a big house party and his waaayyyyy drunk current girlfriend tried to physically fight with me because I...exist probably. But gods only know what he’d been telling HER about me — years later! Meanwhile, this post is the first time I’ve even thought about him in a decade. Another massive learning experience.
[–]Reachingout365FDS Newbie19 points20 points21 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ugh. Sometimes you have to just pity how insecure they are. How utterly sad and pathetic they feel that they need to do that. Helps me draw that barrier.
[–]FatPam007FDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Pfffff women who fight with other women for a guy are the most pathetic shit ever. And I've seen that in front of my eyes a lot of times!! Like they putting you down in front of a guy they like and saying shit. That's subtle. But I've seen physical fights for men. Actually it's more common in women to fight for a guy than backwards. It only happens in Twilight that a guy would fight with another one to have a girl. they wouldn't fight, they would actually make a deal so both of them can fuck her... So pathetic, and you have to see the look in a guy and how his ego is going to the sky when these women are fighting for a dick!!! I will never have such a low value about myself to fight for a fuckin dick
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hell, I had a much trusted sister do that to me. I was wondering why it seemed as if some people in my family started avoiding me as much as possible. As it turns out, around the time of a few family deaths, a few neutral relatives from out of state pointed out some of the bizarro shit she was saying about me behind my back-- after I had confided in her for years and years she was trashing me to others.
When I confronted her, she admitted to what she said, and she believed her own lies. It was surreal. I trusted her like a mother.
A backstory: she was always keen on being my father's favorite child. At that time, my father was depending more on me for certain things, and she wasn't "in" on everything, which made her irate.
I'd say, if a group of people suddenly seems to intensely dislike you despite you having done nothing major to deserve it, there is likely one person who is stirring the shit pot.
[–]perkypancakesFDS Newbie32 points33 points34 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
OMG! My ex did the exact same shit with his buddies. Funny thing when they actually met me they realized how full of it he was because they thought I was cooler than him.
[–]ms_monquisFDS Disciple5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
INSANE. Do they have a newsletter or something??
[–]FatPam007FDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's when you fuck his friends and ruin his life. Lol.
[–]FatPam007FDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well actually I've met so many guys that say that exact phrase. And it makes you think they have a crazy pshycho girlfriend. But probably is exactly what you're saying and they're lying about it. And I also thought that: what kind of man are you if your girlfriend treats you like a mom with a 5 year old child? They're fucking liars. They even make the jokes of when a guy gets a girlfriend she basically robs him from his friends because she doesn't want him to see them, and they make jokes about him dissapearing, when probably he prefers fucking with her than being with his guys. But who is your girlfriend to ban you doing something to an adult anyways??? They're lying OMG. I didn't even realise that until I read this post. Disgusting.
[–]ImatworkmotherfuckerFDS Newbie275 points276 points277 points 6 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link
Makes me remember one of the times I've felt the most embarrassed for someone else. Her boyfriend kept joking about forcing anal on her in front of me and my boyfriend. My boyfriend (now ex) thought it was hilarious and started teasing her too. She looked insanely uncomfortable. I regret just sitting there quietly, this was about 15 years ago and at that age I had no idea how to deal with the situation (I do now). I asked my then bf WTF when we left and he legitimately had no idea how fucked up it was and I lost my shit. We never hung out with them again. God I hope she left him.
[–]ALISHAISHERE123FDS Newbie166 points167 points168 points 6 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
One of my ex bfs friends married a teenage student( while he was in his mid 30s), and my bf used to absolutely worship this guy(red flag i shouldve noticed earlier).Everytime we were together with them the guy would shower this girl with compliments like "the great thing about her is that shes happy with so little, wont even accept anything i give her" or "she listens to what i tell her, she doesnt nag and argue like a mom like others mens old,ugly wives..." etc, and my bf would smirk at me as if to say how his demand that i "defer" to him and be happy with absolutely no effort( i mean not even his attention/affection,nevermind material things) was perfectly reasonable. This kept happening over and over again, almost everytime we had a fight his trashy bros would make comments to make to feel unreasonable or bad(making it clear they knew very specific things about our personal lives,even if they dont know the full story ) while he would be sitting there loving it . I couldnt believe grown ass men could act like such gossipy, manipulative, passive agressive mean girls. I was stupid enough to think dating older guys meant wiser or more responsible behaviour.But nah.Never again.
[–]BalkankaFDS Disciple[S] 65 points66 points67 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Ew my god. I’m glad you got away from that dude and his trash pile of friends. Ugh!
[–]ALISHAISHERE123FDS Newbie27 points28 points29 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks. I still cant believe i dated him. His family members straight up lied to me about his age so I'd go out with him. He eventually admitted it, derided them and initially acted like some supreme gentleman so i didnt leave. That lasted less than two month. Still embarrassed i didn’t nope out sooner.
[–][deleted] 51 points52 points53 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I knew a guy whose wife would throw elaborate birthday parties for him. She would go all out and bake custom cakes. He thought it was funny to brag that he wouldn't do anything for her birthday and wouldn't even remember the date. He was serious.
[–]ALISHAISHERE123FDS Newbie27 points28 points29 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Its so strange. Still trying to wrap my head around how these women not only not see whats wrong with that but seem to take pride in being valued for being a doormat.
[–]FatPam007FDS Newbie18 points19 points20 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good luck for any guy for me to cook shit for him lmao 😂 That's why I don't have a boyfriend lmao I never put any effort in any man no matter how I like him. And girls do everything they have in their hands to conquer a guy. I'm always in the back staring in the shadows but don't doing shit for them. And obviously they will prefer this woman that treats them like a king before me that I treat them like any other person and nothing special 😂
[–]123heatherfeatherFDS Newbie23 points24 points25 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The older men are wiser, wiser at trying to control and manipulate us into being pickmeishas that is.
[–]FatPam007FDS Newbie15 points16 points17 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Men never get wiser. They always think like 5 year old boys. Only their dicks grow, and a lot of times it doesn't 😂😂 I've met a lot of guys that were Sooo fucking immature. And still they succeeded in their careers etc. It's so... Unexplainable.
[–]BalkankaFDS Disciple[S] 77 points78 points79 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That’s fucking disrespectful and awful. We cannot allow ourselves or other women to be treated this way any longer- I’m glad this wave of empowerment is happening. This shit needs to end.
[–]ImatworkmotherfuckerFDS Newbie31 points32 points33 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Absolutely!
[–]AliceKingslyAt-Risk Pick Me Youth63 points64 points65 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I would've been like: "you think that's funny? Just wait till she goes to the police for rape. That'll be fuckin' hilarious."
[–]AliceKingslyAt-Risk Pick Me Youth23 points24 points25 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Forcing anal on a woman when she hasn't agreed to it IS rape. Which makes my comment perfectly valid.
[–]FatPam007FDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Oh I'm sorry I misunderstood your comment, I thought you were saying that as a joke you would tell to a guy. That's why you got my response. Sorry lol
[–]AliceKingslyAt-Risk Pick Me Youth3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's all good.
[–]soundsfromoutside90 points91 points92 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
This is so painfully true.
My last relationship, I had NO idea why his friends seemed to hate me so much! They would straight up turn their backs to me if I tried to contribute to their conversations. No one would speak or acknowledge me. I thought I was being annoying or saying stupid things and my social anxiety went through the roof.
Turns out, he had been telling them all these awful lies about me cheating on him, lying, going through his phone, not allowing him to have any friends. No one bothered telling me this until weeks after we broke up. That was five years ago and I still have issues with that group of people.
[–]BalkankaFDS Disciple[S] 35 points36 points37 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
What a psychopath. What was he trying to do? Get sympathy from his friends?
[–][deleted] 10 points11 points12 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I think some guys do this to socially isolate their GFs... they think it will force the GFs to remain in the relationship longer, because once their reputation and self esteem is crushed, it will be harder for them to make social connections in the outside world and leave. Married men who are domestic abusers are notorious for putting their wives down all the time, including publicly and among family and friends.
[–]BalkankaFDS Disciple[S] 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Absolutely. My ex did this to me.
[–]Reachingout365FDS Newbie134 points135 points136 points 6 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link
OMG.... I totally downplayed this... so my rose colored memory of my first dates and "oh they're so sweet unlike their friends..." makes me wonder now.
Shit.
Again we are learning here I am so glad I joined. 😮
[–]BalkankaFDS Disciple[S] 106 points107 points108 points 6 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
Young men especially will talk shit about their partners to their friends to come off as a player or macho too. They don’t want to get called pussy whipped or a simp so they will trash talk their own girlfriends. They don’t have the logic to see how stupid that makes them look in reality.
[–]Reachingout365FDS Newbie67 points68 points69 points 6 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
God how pathetic... being "macho" is literally just about being domineering and cruel. "You love your gf? Ick!" They say women are confusing but.... so much about men makes absolutely no sense.
[–]BalkankaFDS Disciple[S] 60 points61 points62 points 6 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
It’s hilarious to me like EW you treat your gf with respect? SIMP! I guess it’s true, the most manly thing they could do is fuck another man then?? Lmao. They are all a bunch of circle-thinkers.
[–]Reachingout365FDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points 6 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
What does Simp even mean? I am always behind on all the new catch phrases lol. I've seen it on Reddit and I'm new to here. That and "based."
And yea, talk about homorerotic! Why even have a gf then?!
[–]MaisiebrFDS Newbie32 points33 points34 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Simp is supposedly a man who treats women well. They think nice guys get screwed over so they chastise men who are nice, because in their minds that is being emasculated and a pushover basically. If someone is nice and doesn't get sex in return it especially triggers them.
[–]Reachingout365FDS Newbie29 points30 points31 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh god 🤦🏼♀️masculinity is a damn disease!
Side note though I'm seriously loving this group. I might end out of here with an actual self esteem I've been regressing and wanting to date again before I'm ready lmao. No need for that shit right now!
[–]FatPam007FDS Newbie16 points17 points18 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes!!! They get so angry when they get friendzoned Like dude, you've faked being a friend of a girl for a whole 3 months, and now you're getting offended because you FAKED A FRIENDSHIP JUST TO FUCK???? Fucking retard. Lol. They only act nice when they wanna fuck you. I have one male best friend, but he's truly nice and unique, and he has his own girlfriends, he's like a brother to me. That's why taking his example, a lot of times I thought that I could be friends with a guy. Bad, really bad 😂😂 men never want to be your friend except if they're gay
[–]BalkankaFDS Disciple[S] 22 points23 points24 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Simp is short for “simpleton“ like a guy who simps for a girl just to get a crumb of pussy. Reddit keeps me pretty hip haha
[–]Reachingout365FDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol gross wow.
Haha thanks I'm slowly getting into the lingo now.
Also the way men talk sounds so uneducated! Not even using proper phrases or expressions; "dead ass?' Instead of "are you serious?" And "Simp." I swear to God, porn makes men even more juvenile than they already are.
[–]FatPam007FDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
That's why gay men get so well with each other. They should all be gay and leave women alone 😂😂😂😂
[–]BalkankaFDS Disciple[S] 7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I truly wish I was gay. My lesbian friends are much happier (though I will say there is sooo much drama in the LBC).
[–]EntireTadpoleFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I don't know, lesbians have the highest divorce rate.
[–]BalkankaFDS Disciple[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don’t even care about getting married tbh
[–]FatPam007FDS Newbie31 points32 points33 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I had a roommate that was the most sexist and mysoginistic dude I've ever met. He said he was sad because he couldn't fuck other women while he had a girlfriend. And then he had a friend that looked so nice, and mannered and educated. Totally a facade. you can't have a friend like that and be a fuckin angel yourself. "tell me who are your friends and I'll tell you who you are" This is real.
[–]nike143erFDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points 6 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
From a mental health point of view, it really is true that you are most like the 5 people you are closest with.
[–]MimiriamFDS Newbie44 points45 points46 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
my ex bf did this and I'm glad he's my ex
[–]InayahDaneenFDS Newbie43 points44 points45 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Same for his family members! If they don’t like you, it’s a high chance he’s been talking nonsense about you behind your back.
[–]BalkankaFDS Disciple[S] 18 points19 points20 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That’s a line a lot of people cross and end up greatly regretting!!!
[–][deleted] 43 points44 points45 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If you don't like his friends it's a no go. He might downplay their behavior but at the end of the day those are his people and he chooses to have them around. If you don't like the friends, you'll find out you don't like the man. Also don't think if you like his friends/family that he's automatically a decent guy! They might all be trash too!
Yup and it’s a great sign of his decision making process. Young people can maybe get a pass on this bc they’re still learning but grown people need to know that bad vibes and trash people = drama and negativity.
[–]meecy166FDS Apprentice71 points72 points73 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I’m gonna need y’all to stop calling me out okay. This exact thing happened, his friend was talking about my country and how he would never visit my country because he was scared, and I just looked at that pos, waiting on him to respond and he said nothing, so I confronted him about it and he just said, “that is not how he feels about my country, and I should have said something myself and since he doesn’t feel badly about my country, he didn’t respond to defend me” ugh
[–]BalkankaFDS Disciple[S] 44 points45 points46 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I wonder if this also applies to friends whose partners talk shit to you… I have a friend who has turned into a total pick me. Her boyfriend has become more and more brazen with his teasing and taunting of me. It definitely is affecting our friendship. Haven’t spoken in months.
[–]FatPam007FDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Ah yes and when they break up? They always call you to cry over their boyfriends and they regret leaving you apart. Fuck them.
[–]BalkankaFDS Disciple[S] 11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It sucks but she has started saying insensitive stuff to me too. She’s changing and morphing into his personality which is childish (he’s 6 yo younger too). One day when she catches him sexting a girl 2 tables over while he’s sitting at a cafe with her again maybe she will come to her senses. Yes he did that.
[–]FatPam007FDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ugh no...what a terrible situation the one of the coffee. I would be so ashamed...
[–]EntireTadpoleFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hell yes.
[–][deleted] 29 points30 points31 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
The worst part about this bullcrap is you can't even defend yourself how can you defend yourself against people who nothing know about you? my ex did this crap all that time with his new friends that I never met. I am glad I never have to deal with is ass ever again.
[–]BalkankaFDS Disciple[S] 10 points11 points12 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I’m glad too! That’s such a toxic trait.
[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Right these people kept going off about me and I really wanted to message them cuss them off. About you don't even know me yet you only taking his side ask him about cheating on me, ask him about emotional abusing me, ask him about how he constantly lies to me and gaslights me. If I'm such a bad person why he always want to be with me and refuse to let me move on with my life? he literally told me if I ever thought about breaking up with him he will follow me home every day so I take him back but yet I'm a horrible person? you are not a horrible person but you talking crap and never know me or give me a chance to defend myself?
[–]BalkankaFDS Disciple[S] 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Shame on them for not being wise enough to have some perspective. Trash people.
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I know right? the world be better if we let people speak for themselves.
[–]sometingwickedFDS Newbie26 points27 points28 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This. Wow. This never occurred to me.
But it actually helps put the pieces together a bit more.
Wow.
[–]Eat_Pant_b0ssFDS Newbie45 points46 points47 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
All of my ex-boyfriend's friends talked shit about me behind my back and he would tell me about how much they hated me. I never knew why because I was always nice to everyone. Deep down I think it was because whenever my ex put me down or treated me badly I would always push back on him and I think he complained to them about that. Even though he was obviously abusive to me, none of them care of course. And they never ONCE said anything bad about me to my face because they didnt have the balls. I should have left my ex much sooner than I did but its satisfying to know I was so intimidating to those dudes they wouldn't dare cross me in person. They were all losers just like him
[–]BalkankaFDS Disciple[S] 30 points31 points32 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This reminds me very much of my high school relationship. Young men can be so toxic not just to their partners but to themselves. If they didn’t reinforce that behavior among themselves many of them probably wouldn’t have turned out to be such big pieces of shit. I hate that “fuck bitches, get money” was such a vibe when I was a teen, it was such a toxic atmosphere for young girls to be treated and “played” bc it was the bad ass thing to do. I see some of these guys on fb now holding their new borns wearing collared shirts and khakis and I can’t help but laugh.
[–]favoritesoundFDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Birds of a feather flock together.
[–][deleted] 78 points79 points80 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Or he is closet gay and hate you and all his girlfriends. I saw this in real life
[–]BalkankaFDS Disciple[S] 49 points50 points51 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Story time!
[–]even_thrillerFDS Apprentice17 points18 points19 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
One of my ex's friends hit on me once and when I told him it made me uncomfortable he made me go deal with it vs telling his friend to back off. More reasons why he's my ex now.
[–]BalkankaFDS Disciple[S] 10 points11 points12 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ew. How embarrassing for him and awful for you. I’m glad he’s out.
[–]AsbelowsoabovemeFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And in the reverse - if a guy’s friends are respectful and enthusiastic, open, friendly, and kind to you, that’s typically a green flag and means they’ve heard good things about you!
[+][deleted] 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]favoritesoundFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They say if you have a friend who talks shit about others behind their back, then they're likely talking shit about YOU to others behind YOUR back too.
[–]BalkankaFDS Disciple[S] 7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Glad you left his ass! Terrible character.
[–]galian84FDS Apprentice8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Damnnn. Now it makes sense why my ex's entire group of coworkers seemingly hated me. He would never invite me out with them in 7 years. Claiming they didn't like me...when I hadn't even met most of them 😠
Well shit he just exposed himself then!
[–]galian84FDS Apprentice1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh, he did! Of course when I asked him, he lied and said that he praised me all the time and didn't understand why didn't like me.
Like...ok, dude. Whatever you say...
[–]red_lrker_0612FDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh wow, never thought about it this way!
[–]JOEYMAMI2015FDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My high school ex was a covert narcissist so unbeknownst to me he was always talking crap about me behind my back to his friends. Well ten plus years later, and they apparently are no longer in speaking terms with him and have actually apologized to me for thinking I was a bitch. I am even good friends with one of them and he actually told me I am nothing like how my ex described me in the past. This is definitely a red flag right there if you find out he does this!
[–]DeusExSpatulaThrowaway Account10 points11 points12 points 6 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
I can see how this might be true. But I have another explanation for why this can happen.
Years ago I started to get to know several colleagues in my year’s intake. They were based in one of other big offices an hour from me and were good friends with each other. This group includes a guy and his good (female) friend. We all get on well, and I really click with the girl.
After a few months I get closer to the guy and we start dating. When I’m in their city for work events he would bring me along to their after-work drinks and eventually, house parties too. But now I’m starting to have a problem. Every time I see the other colleagues or meet others in their circle...it’s cold. They’re doing the minimum to appear cordial in front of the guy, but other than that they’re clearly freezing me out. To make things worse, this highly toxic girl at my own office with whom I had a tenuous office relationship had recently transferred to theirs.
I found out later that the guy’s female friend had had this long term plan of matchmaking him with her beloved BFF, and him dating me was thwarting everything. So she turned on me. Now, in this group, he and this friend were kind of top of the pecking order, so if she didn’t like someone, no one did.
In the end I stopped dating the guy for unrelated reasons, although the freeze out made the decision easier. To this day I am certain the guy never said anything bad about me. Coincidentally, in the following months the female friend and the toxic colleague who transferred to them became joined at the hip. I’ve no doubt a mutual dislike of me was part of their bonding, and whatever bile/lies the female friend was being fed about me was a lovely helping of confirmation bias to retroactively justify her meddling.
[–]finally_real_2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This just hit me like a ton of bricks. I’ve had relationships we’re the group of my boyfriend’s friends didn’t respect me, at ALL.
They would make gross, misogynistic, overly sexual jokes about me, while my ex was too insecure and scared to do anything.
I needed this. Thank you.
[–]BalkankaFDS Disciple[S] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Your ex was trash! Glad he’s gone!
[+][deleted] 6 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
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[–]BalkankaFDS Disciple[S] 14 points15 points16 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I agree but I think that’s kind of a separate instance. A lot of men will talk shit about their partners to their friends to come off as macho or to prove that they aren’t “pussy whipped” because they are idiots and desperate to seem cool or like “players”
[–]FatPam007FDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Once I told a guy that I didn't want a boyfriend because I didn't want him to talk about what kind of sex we had, If I was good at sex or not, what kind of practices I did, etc. (Because we all know guys talk about their girlfriends like this). And he told me: No, if you're good at sex, all of them will want to fuck you. So it's actually good for you if they talk about you. My disgust was so big I couldn't even make a face.
Beyond primitive thinking.
[+][deleted] 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
There’s something called hyperbole. Check it out.
[–]Reachingout365FDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is also so true. This guy I dated, his friend liked me and resented me for not dating him.
"Why do you like him and not me?"
Gee, asking me if I dream of having sex with you and that kind of commentary and overall arrogance gee idk.
[–]jenneschguetFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I get that narcissistic people talk poorly of their SOs, but I don’t know- sometimes your friends can pick up on things you can’t see because of being love blind. I hated my sister’s husband, and my family didn’t like my brother’s first wife, because they didn’t treat them well.
[–]BalkankaFDS Disciple[S] 6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I get that completely but I think that’s a very diff situation from what the tweet is discussing.
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