AVOID THIS AT ALL COSTS

loudest_gusset · 2020-07-08T11:26:00+00:00

The one time this happened, I made sure to make him feel embarrassed for inviting me over, and I waited outside for 15 minutes for him to tidy up. Granted, it was just a few dishes in the sink, trash that needed to be taken out, and some vacuuming that needed to be done, but since then, he never leaves messes--at least before I visit.

His roommate on the other hand has literally moldy dishes in his room, his bed is a mattress on the floor in a 10 by 10 room, and the floor is not visible from all the dirty clothes on the floor, not to mention dirty pots and pans are left out for days. His girlfriend is 7 years younger, college educated unlike him, and hot as heck, yet she happily lives in that box with him. It's appalling.

whenthecagedbirdsing · 2020-07-08T12:54:32+00:00

What’s funny is my ex expected all my chores to be done before he came over and expected me to have everything he would need food wise. But when I came over his room was terrible. He never cleaned his tub. Only way it got cleaned is if his mom decided to bathe their family dog and she wanted the tub cleaned before putting their dog in it.

4E4ME · 2020-07-08T14:46:19+00:00

God my younger self is so guilty of this. Why are we raising our daughters with the idea that "boys are messy" and that's just a thing we have to accept? Why are we raising our boys this way?

Taking care of your living space is a demonstration of self-respect. At least seeing a guy live this way is a clear sign of his lack of respect for himself and the women that he expects to clean up after him.

Also, I appreciate a man that has a cleaning service because he's legitimately busy, but I have a real problem with a guy who has time to lay about on his couch playing video games every day while he hires a woman to clean his living space. You just know that half of his dating goals are to save money by getting a girlfriend/maid.

Liz_Lemondrop · 2020-07-08T14:45:43+00:00

I used to clean for men. Now I clean for me. I realized I valued their opinion and respect more than I valued my own. But my house is always spotless now.

umbralgarden · 2020-07-08T14:52:49+00:00

One time I went to a guy's apartment after four good dates out and about. The place was so messy, I said I left my phone in my car then drove home. He asked me why I left and I said "I lost any and all attraction for you after seeing how horribly your home was kept."

He told me about his "crippling depression" to which I responded "if your depression is that bad, the last thing you should be doing is trying to date people. A relationship can't fix your life, please get a good therapist and take care of yourself."

Guys can put up a great show on the first few dates. How he lives when no one is watching is a true testament to his character and how responsible he is.

hikurangi2019 · 2020-07-08T08:31:55+00:00

[deleted]

greenbeanbird · 2020-07-08T18:08:47+00:00

Ladies, ghost ASAP when he tries to bait and switch; my second ex would clean his place until he asked me out officially, and then his place turned into a pigsty. It was SO nasty! The dishes and bathroom were relatively clean, but dear God, he had a path from his living room to his bedroom and I nearly tripped every time I visited. NEVER again.

umbralgarden · 2020-07-08T15:12:20+00:00

This is how men have all that extra free time and money. They just live like trash and put all their energy into earning/career/hobbies/hustling. And they're so much happier for it. They perform less labor and upkeep for their life and appearance overall. Sleeping on trash but swimming in cash. Took me a long time to figure out.

SuccessfulShow5 · 2020-07-08T14:59:19+00:00

Ewwwe used to be me 😭😭 lazy mfer

manisfestationqueen · 2020-07-08T17:08:21+00:00

How he cares for himself and his place is how he'll care for you.

darling89 · 2020-07-08T16:29:36+00:00

Fuck no don't be a pickme

GamerGirlLinda · 2020-07-08T16:13:12+00:00

Heeeeell no! If his place is dirty I’m out. I don’t care! How am I supposed to feel comfortable in a pigsty?

thewetdog_ · 2020-07-08T13:25:09+00:00

When I was dating my partner we were long distance and I had domestic help 3 days a week. At his house I used some baby powder and left a bunch sprinkled on the floor before we left - I honestly believed the cleaning lady would tidy up once we were away for the weekend. He had told me a few days prior that she had come over.

He asked me to clean it up please and I said “sure but won’t the cleaning lady do it?” And I found out the cleaning lady he hired didn’t come regularly but just before I visited.

He was great around the house (and still is, cleans and tidies but also is super handy and fixes things himself) but he would pay this lady to come by before my visits to make it extra clean. According to him he didn’t have time personally for the details of deep cleaning and things like like waxing floors, dusting everything etc, so since I’m prone to allergies he would want the place fully dust-free and pollen-free before I came.

My point is, if they not only know their place isn’t 💯 (dust free pollen free), they for sure also fully know its straight nasty and still have you over.

LadyGrimes · 2020-07-08T22:25:31+00:00

This brings back awful memories of my ex. That man was a total slob.

Cobmobster21 · 2020-07-08T20:57:53+00:00

Oof this hits home. Whenever I invited my ex over I extra cleaned my room and the kitchen. His house should have been scheduled for demolition. Stuff was everywhere on the main floor. It smelled like a zoo due to the pets living there. His room had random shit everywhere and would stink when the cats would go poo in the litter box. I believe how you treat your living spaces is a reflection of you. This dude only washed every other day despite working in a hot kitchen. Makes me shudder because of what I put up with 🤢

ten-of-wands · 2020-07-08T21:36:34+00:00

That toilet shot is like a crime scene photo 🤭🤭🤭

2020-07-08T14:54:24+00:00

Oh my god.

Remember when I was dating this guy from NJ a few years ago, got to his apartment, dude had zero groceries, hadn't cleaned his living room/bathroom in MONTHS, and had to kill a cockroach that crawled out of his floor when I walked in. Don't understand what is so hard about cleaning your living space. Fucking gross.

nightsky_bunny · 2020-07-08T15:23:56+00:00

Oh my lord, this is giving me flashbacks. I briefly dated a guy who's apartment looked exactly like that, not even exaggerating. His excuse was he worked a lot and didn't have time to clean. I always came back from his with itchy, red skin and a solid need to soak in industrial strength cleaning agents. Yuck.

TheFattestAndGayest · 2020-07-08T16:16:35+00:00

My Bfs place once looked like this :D When I first saw it I was... impressed. I helped him clean it and he kept his apartment clean since.

Now we live together in same apartment and every time I tidy up a little he is always so thankful and he actively puts effort into making me happy everyday. When I was living together with a woman she never thanked even though I was cleaning HER mess.

In conlusion no one is perfect but with a little work and a little help we can become a better version of ourselves. I'm happy I didn't walk away on this one^{^}

SeaHerSwim · 2020-07-08T18:20:47+00:00

I was going to “hook up” with a guy that I had been taking to, and he actually asked me if I could bring my own sheets! Needless to say, that killed my lady boner...REAL fast! Gimme a break!

Title	AVOID THIS AT ALL COSTS
Author	smellys0cks
Upvotes	741
Comments	34
Date	July 8, 2020 6:48 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hnc7zt/avoid_this_at_all_costs/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/avoid-this-at-all-costs.705106 https://theredarchive.com/post/705106

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