Been in this type of relationship before, doesn’t end well.

Saitschik · 2020-11-07T01:08:19+00:00

Women like this need to find themselves and build some self worth, as cliche as it sounds. Feeling like this interiorly is horrible. I hope she gets men off the pedestal asap and learns to value herself for who she is

Samvanderkamp123 · 2020-11-07T01:07:29+00:00

Oh FFS. I guarantee you the relationship wasn’t perfect for the simple reason he’s an asshole.

Just leave. He’s going to play the perfect dead girlfriend card for the rest of his life.

No one will ever be as good as her - but you can jump a bit higher next time to try. Once you’ve had four children, kept your career and a perfect body, and invited his family for a home-cooked meal every Sunday, you may qualify for a participation trophy.

Pahapan · 2020-11-07T03:52:27+00:00

"She always spoke good about everyone..."

This isn't a good quality in a person. A friend to all is a friend to none. I know people like this, people who get along with EVERYBODY. They never stand up for their principles, never call people out on their bullshit, have no loyalty, and are in general a walking doormat. LVM love women like this. She'll sit by and watch him treat her friends like shit and hit on her sister and not say a word.

WatermelonSugar47 · 2020-11-07T01:10:22+00:00

[deleted]

2020-11-07T01:28:19+00:00

Compare and despair. It’s a fool’s game.

AyemHerself · 2020-11-07T02:51:17+00:00

I've been there too. My ex's late wife was actually toxic for him, yet he still put her on a pedestal and expected me to comfort him on their wedding anniversary.

elainejay82 · 2020-11-07T08:52:27+00:00

Honestly this is just a manipulation tactic so he seems to be a skilled manipulator and a little bit of a sadist too.

Hope she sees the light.

daisy_0720 · 2020-11-07T11:35:49+00:00

She's in a relationship that makes her 'stomach turn', feel 'dead inside' and is a 'special type of hell.'

Sis, run. That is no way to live. There are so many ways to experience fulfillment and joy in life. Why do women insist on choosing misery?

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-11-07T01:51:33+00:00

Oh god lady, just leave!

Summerisle7 · 2020-11-07T03:15:31+00:00

Yep, no one can compete with the dead saint. Better not to try

cremebruleecakes · 2020-11-07T12:30:33+00:00

Triangulation. Any basic manipulator has this in their arsenal.

tewkewfoskewl · 2020-11-07T05:36:15+00:00

Same thing; been there, done that. The guy I was with had a fiancee pass away about a month before meeting me. Insisted he had plenty of time to heal from her passing. He was seeing a therapist just in case, nothing to worry about, you see? I of course was an idiot and believed him. He exploited the memory of this poor woman as a manipulative device for sexual favors. "We used to do (insert sexual activity) all the time", "she always said yes", "she was so perfect, was always happy to do (insert any hedonistic act) in bed". I permanently lost some of my kidney function trying to satiate this monster.

If he is constantly comparing you to a ex/decedent, not only is he not over her, he's triangulating. This is especially true if those comparisons are made in an exclusively sexual context. A dead woman (and by extension, even an ex) isn't there to to vouch for what she would or wouldn't do; he can literally make up anything to suite his desires. Good people who have lost someone don't do these things.

maracat1989 · 2020-11-07T01:10:19+00:00

Its sad that sometimes women don't understand that feeling like this is optional.

Edit: I can't act like I haven't been in the dark either.

Silverpool2018 · 2020-11-07T07:11:30+00:00

At some point, it stops being about grief and turns into a game of comparison and manipulation. Firstly, no one should be entering into new romantic relationships while dragging grief from previous romantic relationship. It is gonna be a disaster and will cause a lot of hurt.

Secondly this guy here is making her feel bad for the heck of it. He will never get over his ex for his own convenience. And this girl needs to set standards and tell him to get help or he can fuck off and find his ex's lookalike.

That "she was white, I'm not" comment is heartbreaking. Just leave.

UnstrirringCoffee · 2020-11-07T11:51:10+00:00

This is BS. Been in a relationship where a deceased ex came up once. He was LV in other areas, but the ex was not an issue at all.The ex is only hell if the guy makes it one. The ex is just an axcuse and it's a double insult to both his current partner as well as the legacy of the former one who died and is now being used as a stick to beat people with.

ItsFreezen · 2020-11-07T11:23:31+00:00

These same Scrotes also pine for their "Crazy Ex".

2020-11-07T18:19:34+00:00

wtf break up with him. if she feels THIS awful with a man, whats the point of dating him?

Party-Salty · 2020-11-07T05:35:53+00:00

This is a game men play to try to manipulate and control women. They exaggerate stuff like this to use their insecurities against them. Instead of falling in that trap, walk out and watch him fold those cards so fucking fast and feel like a complete idiot.

DiscombobulatedBabu · 2020-11-07T14:43:48+00:00

If she stays in this relationship before she knows it she’ll be stood at the bedroom window in the west wing while the housekeeper tries to convince her to jump

button-up · 2020-11-07T17:04:47+00:00

Done, I’d be out so fast his little head would spin. I’d leave him alone to grieve and get over him in the meantime.

Mella_20 · 2020-11-07T23:39:11+00:00

This is why I will never be with someone with a dead ex. It's the pedestal that bugs me. I've heard countless horror stories.

button-up · 2020-11-07T17:05:01+00:00

Done, I’d be out so fast his little head would spin. I’d leave him alone to grieve and get over him in the meantime.

elainejay82 · 2020-11-07T03:45:17+00:00

[removed]

Title	Been in this type of relationship before, doesn’t end well.
Author	biglakekoi
Upvotes	159
Comments	37
Date	November 7, 2020 1:01 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jphgsj/been_in_this_type_of_relationship_before_doesnt/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/been-in-this-type-of-relationship-before-doesnt.326806 https://theredarchive.com/post/326806

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