Okay, I'll admit I'm coming at this discussion from an incredibly biased perspective because of my own personal experiences that have shown that men who claim to be bisexual almost always end up either cheating with men and/or leaving the relationship to be with men exclusively. I'd like to hear your experiences too!

I was madly in love with my male best friend for two years in high school. We spent all our time together and acted like we were in a relationship, but nothing ever happened physically, which made me feel awful about myself all the time; it was clear he loved my personality, so I concluded that he found me ugly physically.

He had professed being straight but a little bicurious, until the night he messaged me to tell me he had just fucked this dude twice his age that he found on the internet. At that point, he decreed he was gay, but he also dated many women after that point and even got engaged to a woman before eventually marrying a man and saying he was gay. Not only did he put ME through hell, but I'm sure all those other women went through it too.

Then I ended up with the man who I would marry and divorce twice. He also professed a bit of bicuriosity, which made me nervous given what had just happened with the other guy, but I tried my damndest to be cool with it; after all, I am bisexual myself and had fooled around with a handful of women. Well, damned if this guy didn't take my understanding nature and turn it into an excuse to cheat on me and get sexual with a man, who, oh yeah, was also the same male best friend I had been fruitlessly in love with right before him.

When he admitted to cheating, I damn near lost my mind. I was crushed. In retrospect, that relationship should have been DONE immediately, but he kept saying things like, "I only did that because I love you so much and want to be together forever, so I just wanted to satisfy my curiosity so that it would be over with." As shameful as it is to admit now that I'm far more aware of his manipulation, I stayed with him; he had managed to convince me that since I had been able to try being with a woman, it was "only fair" for him to get the chance too.

I'm not going to get in great detail about how the rest unfolded, but suffice it to say that I was constantly anxious about this, and unfortuntely my anxiety wasn't unfounded. I'd find gay porn on both the shared computer and on his phone. The most horrifying and nauseating discovery was some kind of dating site on his laptop that literally didn't have pictures or profiles, just a gallery of anonymous dicks to choose from.

He was tremendously cruel and abusive in general, and he engaged in a ridiculous amount of crazymaking when I'd confront him about finding these things. He'd say, "Well, you knew I was bi," or "It's just porn," sometimes, and then other times he'd claim that he deliberately put these things where I could find them to teach me a lesson about snooping.

I begged and begged for him to just tell the truth and let the marriage end if he was gay, but he kept saying that he only wanted to be with me. Adding to my confusion was the fact that we had actually always had a great sex life; it was the only functional part of the relationship. After finally breaking up and divorcing for good, now he is also married to a man and is calling himself gay.

It's not just me, either, because I'm constantly seeing stories unfold just like mine among the poor women who get into committed long-term relationships with such men. I have a little sympathy for the gay men who were so afraid of homophobia that they felt they HAD to marry a woman, but I'm seeing a trend of gay men still marrying women even if they have zero reason to fear coming out.

This sort of man seems to delight in wasting women's time and energy and then just discarding them for men. My ex leeched off of me and got put through schooling that yielded an excellent and lucrative career, and I put almost 14 years into making him successful so that he could run off and marry a man and have a great life.

All I can say is thank God I never wanted kids, because I would have had a difficult time finding a new guy and getting pregnant before my fertility lessened. But the men don't give a shit because they can just adopt or use a surrogate in their new relationship. Actually, my ex repeatedly tried to bully me into creating kids for him when we were married, and I'm so grateful to myself that I stood my ground on that.

I would never in a million years date a bisexual man again. I wouldn't even date a man who I suspected might have interest in men. I know this post might generate some controversy as being bi-phobic, but I'm not trying to claim bisexuality doesn't exist or that bisexual people are evil; I mean hell, I'm bisexual myself.

But in my personal experience as well as a lot of secondhand stories, it seems that trying to build a future with a bisexual man is only asking for heartache. A massive proportion of these men WILL start fucking dudes behind their women's backs, and eventually when the time is right for him he'll come out of the closet and pursue relationships with men. At best, he'll fuck other dudes and stay in the relationship, but he'll at least tell you truthfully that he's doing so.

I think a bisexual woman is a totally different entity than a bisexual man. I could trust a bisexual woman in a serious relationship, but it doesn't seem like the average bisexual man can refrain from cheating with men. If a guy's heterosexual, cheating requires some effort because it's much harder to find a woman who's okay with being the other woman or having meaningless sex, but a bisexual man can download Grindr and fuck a new guy every night with no effort at all.

What do you think about relationships with men who label themselves as bisexual? Does anyone else specifically avoid dating bisexual men? I'd love to hear about experiences like I've had, but I'd also love to hear about instances where committing to a bisexual man didn't end in disaster, if you have them.

TL; DR Entering into a committed relationship with a bisexual man is almost certain to end badly and thus I personally will not date a bisexual man, but how do YOU feel about this?