Compliments but not compliments

RiasXgremoryX · 2020-11-18T00:03:20+00:00

"you're not like other girls"

"I like/love that you're low maintenance"

"Its good that you're strong and independent"

"Wow, you're really good at driving/math/gaming/(insert any male dominated hobby/task occupation here)etc."

MadamLeFay · 2020-11-18T00:11:07+00:00

I have a doozy for ya: "I'm not good at compliments". That means, "I'm not even going to waste my energy coming up with faux compliments."

feminologie_ · 2020-11-18T01:10:25+00:00

"I love that I don't have to convince you of anything" aka you are a total doormat and I will take advantage of you

"you are so different from other girls" basically putting down your entire gender, not a compliment

"you are too good for me" aka I am low value and will not give you the effort you deserve

"I normally don't date [insert physical characteristic] but you are so great" aka putting you down and messing with your self esteem

_linay · 2020-11-18T01:45:43+00:00

“I like that I can be honest with you” “hope you can appreciate my honesty” while selling disrespect under the guise of honesty to test and push your boundaries or neg you.

EclecticBarbarella · 2020-11-18T00:43:03+00:00

I’m at the point where I hate anything related to physical appearance. Like really? Tell me again how I’m beautiful while you stare at my chest and make zero effort to strike up a conversation about anything deeper than the random genetic appearance I happened to be born with. I almost miss being fat because at least then, the guys were more likely to be interested in who I was as a person instead of how good I’d look in bed, on my knees or on their arm to make other guys jealous. They also seem to slide into some weird fetishization a lot of the time, I’m super white (Irish/Scottish) and super blonde and either get treated like a helpless, ditzy bimbo (I’m not, and I don’t appreciate being talked down to by some scrub) or get comments like “man we’d have cute kids” (from white dudes, I always get the feeling they just specifically want white babies which is just 🤮 some of them have even come out and just said it) or “have you ever been with a [insert their race here] guy” (from non-white dudes). Both are such a turn off and again, only related to physical appearance. I’m gonna end up married to a blind man, I swear 😂

donttakemelightly · 2020-11-18T01:03:36+00:00

"you're so different to other women!"

Um excuse me, don't put down other women to try and compliment me because it's rude.

And also, no I'm not different to other women. I'm exactly like other women. And I'm very happy to be that way.

ItsFreezen · 2020-11-18T01:18:25+00:00

"your not like my ex" But he sure likes to talk about her a lot.

Gambit12345 · 2020-11-18T03:47:36+00:00

“I love that you’re so chill” as he treats you like a doormat.

ThrowawayKITTY777 · 2020-11-18T04:04:03+00:00

"You look really good for your age."

They think it's a compliment.... it's really a fucking insult.

Nah, asshole... I just look good, PERIOD.

greenbeanbird · 2020-11-18T02:18:12+00:00

One LVM that went over-the-top with his interest in me after THREE--yes, 3!!--years of my expressed, unrequited feelings for him* had the absolute GALL to say, 'I love how I feel around you'

The absolute audacity from that one man alone, UGH

*I want to clarify that we attended the same university and I saw him at a reunion; he was merely an acquaintance

jackrusselterror1 · 2020-11-18T06:07:05+00:00

“You’re so out of my league it isn’t even funny.” It’s true, and he’s wondering what exactly is wrong with me for giving him the time of day, and how easily he can manipulate a girl with as low self esteem as mine. Be prepared for him to treat you like the dirt he thinks he is.

“You look so much younger than you are/you barely look out of your teens/you’ve got to be lying, you aren’t nearly 30!” He thinks women turn from pretty young things into swamp witches the second the clock strikes midnight on their thirtieth birthday. He is also going to expect me to stay looking just as youthful throughout my lifespan without any major upkeep. If he legitimately thought I was 16-18 and he’s older than the age he thought I was, he was hoping to get new prey to manipulate. He could be negging me. He could be a pedophile, or someone trying to get with the youngest looking woman they can while staying legal.

“God your cooking is so good/you’re wifey material/how haven’t you been wifed up yet?” He wants a mommy mcbangmaid and thinks I’m dumb enough to fulfill that role, and he’ll never buy a ring, but he’ll talk about it. He is also wondering what’s wrong with me that no man has tried to make it permanent.

“Your voice is so soothing.” He is not paying attention to what I’m actually saying, and he’s falling asleep, or he’s negging me. I have an unusually low voice for a woman, still higher than most men, and it’s distinctive, so men tend to assume I have issues with it and comment on it.

Any comments referring to my hair as “sexy, exotic, just been fucked, sex curls.” Any comments about my lips being kissable, sexy, or looking like they’ve had work done. Any guy, but especially a white guy because they are the only race that has been dumb enough to say this, calling me exotic, spicy, fierce, fiery, comparing me to a Kardashian (always a Kardashian), commenting on my eye slant, calling me an insert ethnicity goddess, complimenting my skin tone. I get a shit ton of racially charged sexual comments because I’m racially ambiguous, so white men attempt to guess where I’m from but not actually say the country or race, but instead hint by stereotypes they associate with that race, so I have to interpret what flavor of racist and pornsick they are.

linnsi93 · 2020-11-18T12:10:39+00:00

This was such a weird thing a man once told me: „I had a tinnitus for 1,5 years, but since we started dating it just went away..." WTF? Boy I am not your medicine!

qwaliY · 2020-11-18T17:18:54+00:00

I feel like "your not stuck up" low-key means you have no standards :/

Optimal_Grapefruit_5 · 2020-11-18T15:00:55+00:00

I hate "you're not like other girls". For some reason, so far it's always come from men with little to no experience with women - so it's more a wild guess from them than an actually founded comparison. It's often equivalent to "you're not like the walking caricatures I picture in my mind", and it shows they've never really engaged with an adult human female and saw her as that: an adult human.
Also, it puts me in an embarrassing position where I either have to accept the compliment and indirectly throw other women under the bus or I have to be an anal bitch about it and be dismissed anyway.

Title	Compliments but not compliments
Author	eveninghope
Upvotes	122
Comments	26
Date	November 17, 2020 11:35 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jw4d9i/compliments_but_not_compliments/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/compliments-but-not-compliments.334817 https://theredarchive.com/post/334817

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