TL;DR- If he says he is ready for a relationship and has been cheated on in the past, please explore further. Some will try and (unsuccessfully) hide their baggage and proceed to dump all their toxicity on you! It'll start leaking out one way or another.

I cannot even begin to explain the headache that is dating a man with trust issues. It is one thing if he is upfront about his issues, a completely different thing if he is not. I was aware that this man had been betrayed by his ex, but he spoke of it so nonchalantly that I wrongly assumed that he was over it.

He swore up and down that he was ready for a relationship and I believed him. BOY WAS I WRONG. I was basically left to slowly connect the dots.

1.) He could not handle any conflict. He was a complete mess after our first conflict, saying that he was worried that we would "clash all the time." I was still optimistic at this point, thinking "Oh, he just needs a little reassurance." He was so irrational that I was honestly a bit frightened.

I did what I could, but he seemed to believe that conflict should never occur. If it did, it was a sign of failure and only terrible things to come. This made me feel as if I would have to suppress my thoughts and feelings for his comfort.

2.) I could not raise a concern without him becoming irritated/defensive immediately. If it did not make sense to him, it did not matter to him. If I did not let it go, I would then be subjected to gaslighting...negatively judging/dismissing my feelings, having things turned around on me and being accused of random things, extreme hostility, etc. The man would turn into a damn monster. It was like a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde type of thing.

3.) He would jump to conclusions and assume the worst very easily. I spent so much time explaining myself so he would calm the fuck down. Innocent comments would be twisted around. I was starting to think that something was wrong with me.

4.) He would randomly say "I think you're hiding something." I spent too much damn time defending myself against false accusations, false realities that he created in his head.

It took me a long time to realize what was actually going on, but his behavior was so very toxic and crazy-making. I never gave him a valid reason to not trust me. It caused me to become full of anxious energy. I just never knew what would set him off. I was walking on eggshells for quite some time.

It's just not worth it, ya'll. I would proceed with the UTMOST caution. ALWAYS ask a man about his past relationships and explore his baggage. Some are carrying too damn much. You will suffer.