Was speaking to a guy who is a young acquaintance/work friend and he told me about his prior experience with his first girlfriend, he said she wasn’t his type so he wasn’t completely convinced at the beginning but decided to say yes anyway, but she was the first girl who had ever approached him and he was really shy at that point so he said yes and fell in love with her. He spoke about her like “Well I’m a 7.5 and she was a 5 but she still was able to “pull me” by approaching me, so any woman can do well in dating.” I said that I’d never want a guy to talk about me like that and he said “Well my friends said I can do better, not me” but he actually did say it himself lol.

He said he fell in love with her she broke his heart when she suddenly moved onto another guy. Then he talks about her ugly new bf and that he’s sure she regrets breaking up with him because he’s leagues better looking than her.

I asked if he would’ve married her and he said well he’s only 20, so it’s pretty young and my family probably wants me to marry someone of my race, but maybe if I was with her longer etc.

He said she really helped build his confidence up, and now she dumped him, he wants to try to pursue someone who is like an 8/10 a beautiful girl. He said she’d be a way better match for him and his looks than his 5/10 ex lol. He was saying he’s glad he realised he’s better looking than his ex and can do way better than her and she wasn’t even good looking so he’s not going to be upset about it.

Beauty is truly so subjective, this male acquaintance of mine finds me average (he doesn’t say that outright yet I can tell by things he suggests) so many guys in real life have thought I was hot, gorgeous and worth pursuing and worth the effort. I think I’m the type of girl some guys will find gorgeous and worth pursuing and some guys will just find me average to a bit above average. The only person who’s opinion is important is my potential boyfriend one day.

One man can think you’re average and you’d “have to pursue him” and another could find you worth pursuing.

I think that allowing guys to pursue you, you have more of a chance of finding guys who actually want you and find you gorgeous. I feel like if you pursue and he just accepts it he will feel he settled for you.

This has solidified in my mind why it’s so important to follow the FDS principle not to pursue the man. I want someone who treasures me, not a man who had to lower himself to “accept me”. I’m a proud girl too, I want to be found very attractive by my partner.

Guys always tell girls to just pursue men, but this can lead to the guy having this kind of attitude - like thinking he’s better than you.

Also although I am pretty as I am, and I know some women will disagree with this point - I’m going to work on improving my looks too, I’ll need a bit more work at the gym and slimming down/improving my daily style and making sure I do my hair/makeup everyday. Quarantine is a good time to get this in check and work out/lose weight. As beauty is so subjective, if you take the best care of yourself you can you’re sure to be gorgeous to some man out there. I’m personally attracted to good looking guys, and I want to be attractive enough to be approached by one.