As women we often question our responses to men's shitty behaviour or actions. We gaslight ourselves into thinking that were are overreacting. Flip the script. Ask yourself, if the situation was reversed, would I do this?

Here's one example. My cousin and I were having a debate on who should pay for dates. She admitted she was absolutely terrified to let a man pay because she would feel obligated to him and she feared how he'd react if she rejected his expectation for sex BECAUSE he paid for dinner. I simply asked her, "Okay then, flip the script. Would you coerce a man to have sex with you just because you paid for his dinner? Would you flip out and be aggressive and upset if he was not comfortable with that? Do you expect that from your friends when you pay for them? Do men expect that from their bros when they happily pay for their drinks? What's so different about you? Think about what kind of awful person would expect sexual payment for dinner. It's incredibly wrong."

Edit: I am not encouraging paying on dates. Men should pay. I just flipped the script as an example.

She was utterly speecheless and said she didn't even think of that. Even as women we have this unconscious internalized misogyny. Horrible things being done to women is just global culture and it doesn't register with anybody as being wrong. It's just the way the world works. Flip the script and it triggers everybody's moral outrage or shock because something wrong is being done to men who are viewed as whole human beings with feelings.

So whatever the situation, FLIP THE SCRIPT.

Ask yourself, would I do this? Would I behave this way? Would I continue to do this and behave this way knowing it's causing my loved one anxiety, pain, or discomfort. If you won't dish it to anybody else then that's also a very good indicator to not to take it from anyone either.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk. Feel free to add onto this discussion/thought.