How do you know if he is multi-dating?

FDSxMuffinVSrat · 2020-08-25T20:58:01+00:00

I don't think anyone owes loyalty to another person until it's be agreed to.

It sounds like you should probably date more people. If you don't feel like he's making you enough of a priority then drop him. You should naturally be less available than him anyway, whether it's other dates or hobbies or friends taking up your time. Don't get fixated on one dude you're not even in a relationship with 💛

letsberealforamoment · 2020-08-25T21:00:04+00:00

I know there is a difference of opinion on the merits of mulit-dating.

When i was dating, i did not multi date. I don't have the time or energy to keep a "scrotation" or talk to more than 1 man at a time. HOWEVER, i have zero chance of getting attached and will block and delete at the first red flag. Some of us have difficult doing that and if you are that type of person, then multi-dating may work for you.

I blocked and deleted men when i got this sort of treatment. I don't multi-date and I'm not interested in men that do.

SeaNegotiation8 · 2020-08-25T23:11:26+00:00

Before I was married, I was never comfortable with seeing guys that were multi-dating.

First of all, multi-dating for a man usually means he’s having sex with as many of his dates as he can, and it’s not safe or healthy for me to be involved with someone like that. I don’t want any trashy, disease-riddled dick inside me.

Also, I think my value in a relationship is incredibly obvious, and I expect a man to realize this pretty quickly. He doesn’t have to present me with a diamond ring on the second date, but if his feelings for me are so lukewarm that he says “Meh, she seems nice, but I just want to keep my options open” it would be a huge turn off for me. Why would I even bother leaving the house for a guy that thinks a date with me is just a fungible event that he can experience with any woman?

In my opinion, by the end of the third date with you, the man should be thinking “Oh shit, this woman seems like she might be really special. I think I’ll ignore those other women and zero in on her.”

Edit: yeah, his texts seem like he’s got a girlfriend. He’s giving off major fuckboy vibes.

posprov · 2020-08-25T21:20:47+00:00

Sounds like you are getting a too attached. Until you agree you are exclusive, assume non-exclusivity. Until then, keep yourself busy and multi-date if you’d like to

AbundantOverflow · 2020-08-25T21:03:38+00:00

If you’re multi-dating and focused on yourself as you should be, you wouldn’t have time to obsess over what a man who isn’t committed to you is doing. There’s nothing wrong with him seeing other women if you are not in a relationship. It’s not about you being cool enough to not care. It’s about you having a rotation and full life that keeps you from being more concerned with him than you should be. Also, this is a good reminder to stay emotionally detached until there’s a clear commitment in both word and deed on his end.

Fatt3stAveng3r · 2020-08-25T21:05:40+00:00

It's entirely up to you how you want to date. I always assumed the men I was dating were also multi dating. It's up to you to draw your boundaries.

cryptohobo · 2020-08-25T21:48:27+00:00

Have you read The Rules book? Don’t let him schedule dates last minute, if he’s serious about you he’ll arrange that by latest Tuesday/Wednesday to see you Friday/Saturday. That said if you notice a pattern of him having some epic excuse to not see you on weekends every time then yea, move on, can’t imagine the excuses he’d come up with once in a relationship (not implying that he’ll cheat but that he just will show minimal effort to balance a dating life with everything else going on in life).

Snoo989898 · 2020-08-26T02:31:52+00:00

This is very suspicious to me. It happened to me 2 times. The first time, I confront the guy after maybe a month and he said he was doing drugs all weekend and partying with girls. NO JOKE. Then I found out he had a girlfriend the whole time. The second guy it happened with I confronted him too because I was worried he was married. He denied it and said he was doing xyz but yeah I don’t believe him. My gut was on fire. We started talking a year later. Same thing happened and same gut reaction. This is a deal breaker for me if I ever have something that doesn’t make me feel good like these texting gaps. It just doesn’t meet my needs personally and stresses me. But I guess it’s totally okay for many other people. My question is, does he seem low investment in other ways? Is there anything else that makes you think he doesn’t really care that much? Did he say anything about going slow? If you are questioning things I feel like he isn’t meeting your needs (which are allowed to be whatever you actually need to feel amazing dating him) and maybe something else is going on that makes you feel like he just isn’t that into you.

enchantedglow · 2020-08-26T06:18:44+00:00

Trust your gut feeling. You got it for a reason.

Orphanedpinkpetals · 2020-08-26T02:22:10+00:00

We all are! If he isnt well he should

daisy_0720 · 2020-08-26T06:53:11+00:00

I don't trust men who multi-date, for the simple reason that men will be having sex with the women they date, whereas when a woman multi-dates, sex is completely off the table until she's in an exclusive, committed relationship.

It's a false equivalency.

Rachel_92x · 2020-08-26T01:49:22+00:00

For me personally, there’s nothing wrong with either party multi dating. If there’s no agreed in commitment, then it’s free game. What I would have a problem with is dishonesty though.

Mountain_Nectarine_6 · 2020-08-25T22:26:18+00:00

[removed]

Title	How do you know if he is multi-dating?
Author	voodo2020
Upvotes	30
Comments	24
Date	August 25, 2020 5:52 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/igh91u/how_do_you_know_if_he_is_multidating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-do-you-know-if-he-is-multi-dating.169256 https://theredarchive.com/post/169256

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