How Does a Baby Bust End? When men step up and take responsibility.

starlight_sequence · 2021-04-02T15:38:41+00:00

I've told this story here before, but I think it's worth repeating:

My ex was very adamant about wanting children, and I was unsure. Once when it came up in conversation, I expressed to him that motherhood scares me because of how much women are expected to give up when they become mothers. His response? "Well, men give up a lot when they become fathers too."

Annnd, alarm bells. This man is not empathizing. He doesn't "get" it. And the fact that he spent 6 nights a week holed up in another room playing video games for hours did not endear me to the prospect of having this man as the father of my children.

Men want children because basically nothing about their life has to change except expenditures.

sleepysiri · 2021-04-02T15:20:34+00:00

well not necessarily. a lot of women are just realising that having babies is a choice, not an obligation. even if a man is willing to be responsible, many women won’t automatically be interested in having babies. i know i won’t! childfree for LIFE 💋

Honestly_th0 · 2021-04-02T15:27:13+00:00

First of all, 7.7 billion people is waaaay more than enough. Too many for the planet to support and with many actively contributing to everyone’s misery. That said, in the short term, governments do need to think about the rate of replacement for national security and economic reasons. And, of course, many people still want kids.

This article offers three scenarios about how birthrates could go up, like apparently Millennials and Gen Z are “flirting with traditionalism” (this reporter has clearly never used a dating app) and have a fascination with Mormonism and the Amish. Uh, really? But I digress. If governments are wondering why more and more women worldwide are choosing not to have children, it’s because women have realized they don’t have to and it’s often not beneficial to them.

So, to solve this so-called baby bust problem (and I’m not convinced it is a problem, except for the capitalist and war machines), let's try scenario #4: society starts requiring men to step up, take responsibility and be real fathers and partners, instead of glorifying the eternal fucboi.

I think—I hope—FDS-like principles are starting to spread around the world as women become better educated and more affluent. Simply by abstaining from sex with LVM, together we can have a MAJOR impact.

NYT Baby Bust article

BBQCoolRanchQueen · 2021-04-02T16:10:59+00:00

Having children is not beneficial to women even in the best of circumstances and even in egalitarian households. Who does the school/daycare call when there's a problem or a sick kid? Mom. Who gets denied promotions and a pay cut and refusal to hire? Mom again. Who's retirement savings take a hit and who gets to retire in dire poverty? Mom. Society's view of motherhood needs to change as well as men needing to step up.

tempted_temptress · 2021-04-02T16:32:20+00:00

I think if the problem were men then women would still have children. Many women who want children will have one without a partner through surrogacy etc. The real issue is the cost. People today can’t afford to have children. They’re prolonging it or holding off completely. I took development economics in undergrad and we had a section on the fertility rate and the bad effects from it. Notably it creates a top heavy society where there aren’t enough people of working age to work and pay into social systems that support those aging out of the labor force. But it’s a common occurrence for the fertility rate to fall as a nation becomes more developed and wealthy. Historically people had children as free labor and this still happens in some parts of the world that are still agrarian heavy. You have kids to help work the farm and it’s assumed some will perish from things we don’t have to deal with in a modern society. But there were always more children to be had. When contraceptive came around and women entered the workforce they were given more choice over having children. There isn’t really much personal incentive to have children as a country and its people becomes wealthier. The declining fertility rate is mostly due to women in wealthier countries choosing not to have children regardless of men. They just want a career, to travel, etc. Its too expensive to have one kid let alone more. It’s obviously going to become a problem but that’s only because the economic system is outdated and needs to be revamped.

Title	How Does a Baby Bust End? When men step up and take responsibility.
Author	Honestly_th0
Upvotes	118
Comments	24
Date	April 2, 2021 3:18 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/mimgo3/how_does_a_baby_bust_end_when_men_step_up_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-does-a-baby-bust-end-when-men-step-up-and-take.765611 https://theredarchive.com/post/765611

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