HVM that aren't your physical type?

miss_peach94 · 2021-02-02T04:48:04+00:00

I can't even kiss someone I'm not attracted to, let alone thinking of having sex with them. They may be attracted to me but that doesn't entitle them to have me if I don't like them back. Men would never date a woman they didn't physically find attractive

ASeaOfQuotes · 2021-02-02T04:24:51+00:00

If he’s not your type he’s not HV for you. He might be HV for someone else. But I think the vast majority of FDS can agree that physical chemistry is incredibly important and I can’t imagine this being something a very sexual and/or physical partner could compromise on.

gigi_chi · 2021-02-02T04:24:05+00:00

They exist but we don’t have to date them.

heythere360 · 2021-02-02T04:43:34+00:00

No. Because ugly men are the most Incentivized to masquerade as HVM because they have little else to offer.

When an ugly dude or a guy whose not your type successfully dates a woman out of his league, his status sky rockets, and you’ll find out how quickly his LVM tendencies show up (if you’re lucky) and he’ll embarrass you with the pick mes who want to compete with you.

Most men are low value. Don’t waste your time getting heartbroken over the charity case.

RiasXgremoryX · 2021-02-02T05:59:15+00:00

I think a man can be HV without being physically attractive or being your type, but that doesn't mean you should force something that isn't there.

Forcing feelings and attraction only makes you miserable. Attraction is important and women have been forcing things for too long, enough is enough.

Yes HVM are rare, but dating one you're not attracted to just because he's HV is giving them way too much credit, plus men can change from HV to LV at any time. At the end of the day women are the choosing sex, we choose whether or not we want to date, marry or have sex, not men. So even if a man is "HV" it doesn't mean we should give him the time of day if we don't want to. Hope this helps.

IllTill3859 · 2021-02-02T12:43:10+00:00

Yes they exist but I only date men I am attracted to. I am done with charity dating. I have worked so hard to become the person I am. Not wasting my time anymore.

Gourmay · 2021-02-02T07:10:42+00:00

I'm going to go against the grain here because I've had relationships with HVM who at first weren't my "type" (you didn't say "ugly" so I'm going on the basis of everyday looks), and for me at least having a type led me to ignore red flags and low-value behabiour. Attractions that you feel immediately can sometimes be due to manipulation and it doesn't necessarily translate to chemistry in bed—the most attractive/my type man I was in a relationship with (for many years), was definitely high-value... and we had almost no chemistry.

I've relearnt in a way to be attracted to other types after dating so many narcs who were and the outcome has been super positive. And generally the attraction started when I got to know them and saw that they were great people, high-value, warm and caring without being pervy or overstepping boundaries... But of course you shouldn't force yourself to be attracted to someone or deny your feelings. This is just my experience :)

Mella_20 · 2021-02-02T11:49:07+00:00

Part of being HVM to me is that I'm physically attracted to him. So imo there is no such thing.

Vmwvi · 2021-02-02T06:19:41+00:00

There are, but you don't want to date them, because you aren't attracted. You aren't obliged to be attracted to every HVM in the world. If you're dating him because "He's so HV! I'll never find a HV man ever despite there being billions of people on the planet." then he's a middle value male at best (He's not adding as much as a HVM to your life because you don't want to be intimate with someone you're not attracted to and he's preventing you from finding a HVM for you).

Just a note, if he is unattractive because of something fixable (terrible skin, constantly dirty, large number of sunspots because he doesn't use sunscreen) it means he's probably LVM (no selfcare/skincare/bad hygiene and expecting supermodels while looking terrible is definitely a red flag).

_RustInPiece_ · 2021-02-02T13:38:36+00:00

No. Being a HVM is not only about character and while most men are IMO not attractive or not as attractive as most women, telling women to 'look past his physical features' and not to be 'shallow' is standard shaming. Men do it all the time. It's just another factor that enforces the imbalance in patriarchy. I wanted to have sex with all previous LVX who weren't physically attractive to me, it's a hormonal thing and it's LoooVe. But all the LoooVe couldn't hide the fact that I never fantasized about them physically. And that makes a major difference:

I wanted to fuck them because of intimacy alone. When I was horny I was longing for release not for him. It had to fire porn fantasies at my brain to find it enjoyable. I couldn't stay at the moment mentally. I always drifted of. It was super frustrating and LV behavior from my side too, because I used him as a masturbation tool.
Every time I had sex it felt distant and I blamed myself for my feelings: "Shouldn't I be able to find him attractive?" Which started the cycle anew. My body didn't lie tho.
With every sex/iteration I aborted my standards further. Of course that carried over to other parts of the relationship and interfered with the vetting process (which I didn't had by that time anymore. I aborted all my standards and he eventually got abusive).

As I said, I wasn't a HVW by that time either. I was a pickme. We used each other for different perks, even if said 'perk' was merely self-verification in my case. Physical attractiveness was always a one sided street in most of my relationships with men. I didn't even know it was possible to find a man physically attractive after years. I always blamed myself for being 'shallow'.

A HVM has to be physically attractive for you. Otherwise it defeats its own definition. Like a HVM is really into you, you as a HVW should be really into him too (and have reason to be!).

shmarhar · 2021-02-02T13:55:10+00:00

There's no such thing as a perfect HVM, only the perfect HVM for you

2021-02-02T06:19:14+00:00

I think it’s sad how men are openly encouraged by society to go for a girl they find hot no matter what they look like, yet if a woman does this openly she is seen as shallow. If a woman dates a guy in hopes that she will learn to be attracted to him, then she’s not doing herself any favors. She’ll me mad at him because she will resent it. No point in forcing yourself (general you) to be with someone. It’s crazy how women are encouraged to do this by women and pickme women

honeybeeroll · 2021-02-02T18:19:40+00:00

Nope. They may be HVM but not HVM for you. I've been there and tried it - a guy who you match up with on a lot of important values/moral things, but who isn't 100% your physical type. I wasn't ever really into him because of that, which was kind of a good thing, because there were some other little things I didn't like that I would've probably ignored if I found him really hot (this is pre FDS). So those things stood out to me more and I ended it.

Either a man is everything you want, or he's nothing at all. Don't settle.

Emotional_Island_354 · 2021-02-02T06:01:50+00:00

There is a such thing as being HV but not chemistry go for what you like sis and at the same time keep your standards

2021-02-02T21:26:25+00:00

You can observe a man as being high value and not be attracted to them but unless you're attracted to them (even if you only want a romantic relationship) don't date them

Title	HVM that aren't your physical type?
Author	sacchilax
Upvotes	54
Comments	26
Date	February 2, 2021 4:12 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/lan46u/hvm_that_arent_your_physical_type/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/hvm-that-arent-your-physical-type.742677 https://theredarchive.com/post/742677

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