In case anyone asks...

elementalvirago · 2020-10-22T14:24:37+00:00

I saw a video of a girl on Instagram with the caption "wearing this shirt again for the first time since that night" and it's just so fucking sad that we all know what that means.

Also: It's offensive to say "sorry but doesn't that happen to every girl?" Because it shouldn't be that way and it's sad nothing changes.

furstlast390 · 2020-10-22T14:11:37+00:00

I will make a point that, while any woman that has suffered greatly from the patriarchy should be a feminist, women who have only marginally suffered and have otherwise had a good life free from abuse and trauma from men should ALSO be feminists. It doesn’t matter what your life has been like. Even if your life has been sunshine and rainbows and no man had ever laid a hand on you, you should still be a feminist. Because we women should stand in solidarity with each other even if we have not shared the same pain. I am fortunate to be in a place where men are respectful and I do not face much misogyny from men at my workplace, but I am still a feminist because I know some women have had it worse than me due to the patriarchy, and I stand with them even though I’ve had it easy.

yggiwtmiih · 2020-10-22T15:49:45+00:00

I wish men would understand that it's all of us. Not a few of us. EVERY LAST WOMAN THEY EVER MET OR KNEW HAS HAD A MINIMUM OF ONE BAD EXPERIENCE WITH MEN BECAUSE THEY WERE BORN FEMALE.

Their mothers, their sisters, their aunts, their grandmothers, their fellow students, their fellow coworkers, the strangers at the bar, the stranger walking down the street, the register person at the supermarket, the old ladies at church and at the nursing home. All women have had one or more bad experience with men just because they were born female. I'm saying minimum one but I can easily count half a dozen times men have made me uncomfortable or fear for my bodily safety --NOT just hurt my feelings or offended me but afraid I will be physically harmed-- and that's the stuff that sticks out.

werker115 · 2020-10-22T13:43:30+00:00

I wish those were the only things that happened to me 😩

Squib · 2020-10-22T15:08:55+00:00

Reading this is so weird because it literally happens to all of us, huh? But you just forget it over time.

I remember walking home in middle school and men would drive by and catcall me. Like every day. I look at middle schoolers now and they are children. It starts so early.

foxfaebae · 2020-10-22T14:13:01+00:00

I used to have two boys in my class that would put their hand on my seat right before sitting down. I was 16 and now at 27 I realized how wrong it was.

This needs to be addressed more and end the catering to males.

hangingplaintain · 2020-10-22T18:45:08+00:00

Sometimes when I broach the subject of my experience being catcalled, some men AND WOMEN respond with "They're complimenting you! What are you so worked up about?".

I'm worked up because when I get cat called, I feel like i'm doing something wrong. I feel embarrassed to be in public and that I shouldn't be there. I've been cat called at 7am going to work, or in the afternoon heading to the gym, or enjoying an evening walk with my sister. It happens all the time, in all conditions, no matter what I am doing. I exist, I get cat called. I am just an object for men to jeer at - nothing more. Its not a compliment.

itsJaclynnbitch · 2020-10-22T14:01:04+00:00

That hit home

in_the_red_room · 2020-10-22T21:49:16+00:00

I am 12 in 1998. I hop on the family computer and try to chat with a male "friend" my mom met in a chat room, exhilarated at my first opportunity to talk to someone on the internet. After a few minutes of small talk, asking me about school and my interests, his messages turn sexual. I freak out and immediately run to tell my mom, because I am 12; a child. She scans the messages and whirls on me. Angry, at me. Accuses me of flirting.

2020-10-22T15:27:04+00:00

Literally ever girl

Imaginsanion · 2020-10-22T15:52:52+00:00

Profound message of social conditioning.

InayahDaneen · 2020-10-22T16:47:01+00:00

I wish those were the only horrible experiences I’ve suffered 😢 This is why I will never speak against feminism.

Novemberinthechair · 2020-10-22T20:36:38+00:00

Can relate. And the prose was interesting, it reminded me of how Dr. Manhattan narrated events from his life in Watchmen.

UmamiMamaa · 2020-10-23T04:12:28+00:00

It is so so sad that almost every woman has something to contribute to this thread from their own personal experiences. What a world we live in. And when we demand to be treated as human beings and equals, they ask if that means they can hit us back.

-amortentia · 2020-10-23T03:20:25+00:00

I was 13 when a man told me I was delicious and I told him he needed a mask to hide his hideous face, but it's sad he couldn't cover his disgusting personality. I was 15 when a guy whistled at me, I gave him the universal finger. I was 16 when an old man looked at me like I was food in a mall, and I tripped him when he walked pass me. I was 17 when three guys followed me from school late at night, I told them straight to “fuck off and go do something worthwhile than follow a girl late at night, so their brains could get the intelligence needed to get over their blatant idiocy.”

lilithdianara · 2020-10-23T16:23:59+00:00

Made me teary eyed... I cannot handle other women shaming feminists too, as if they’re not reaping the benefits of women who fought with their lives for the rights we enjoy now.

2020-10-24T12:37:58+00:00

In case any minors are here, you should contact the school board because they have the power to fire people like the administrator.

Title	In case anyone asks...
Author	elementalvirago
Upvotes	1102
Comments	45
Date	October 22, 2020 12:53 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jfz1q1/in_case_anyone_asks/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/in-case-anyone-asks.322578 https://theredarchive.com/post/322578

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